Why cant i get a woman to commit?!

[GaryUranga]

Stop trying to force them into one and it willl probably come easily, true story

[Gypsybell]

Have you ever considered that maybe women don't want to be 'locked into an institution' any more, and words like 'committed' sound like jail! If a woman is still with you after a month she is perhaps just beginning to feel at home, don't try to lock the door or she'll bolt. Possessive men who want to own their wives do that. Its possibly why many women today will never marry at all. Consider why you need such a firm committment so soon.

[workingman78]

I agree with most of the other posts, let her come to you, play it cool, show her how good of a catch YOU are, and let her draw the conclusions.

[NovaW0lf]

Ahhhhh.....I went through this very same problem myself, until recently.

I kept getting used as a sex object because of my writing and facebook pictures, for about 4 years. I was a good guy, like you, but I that's not the energy that I was projecting.

What you need to do is sit down and look at yourself from a third-person's perspective. What is it that you do, or what is it about your life, that makes women attracted to you, but not see you as anything long term?

You're on a relationship forum, so that automatically indicates that you care; anyone who didn't care wouldn't have thought to google this place to begin with.

There's something about your life/energy that you're projecting that makes you seem not worth keeping around for long. I'd have to get to know you personally to tell you more of what that is, but it looks like you need to do some soul-searching and delve a little more into how a woman may view you. I guarantee it's not in the way that you view yourself.

EDIT: To further elaborate on that, I was on match.com a few months ago. Most of my pictures were model-esque muscular pics...real eye candy for women or gay men. It attracted TONS of attention, and I get many responses/dates. But none of them stayed with me for long. We'd meet, have sex, keep having sex, then we'd die out. To a horny male, that may sound awesome...but it's not what I really wanted. You'd be surprised at how lonely attractive men/women can actually be.

I couldn't figure out why I was getting dates, but no commitment. The answer was in the attitude of my profile, and the kind of pictures I had up. I mean, this is just one example, but think about it: my profile projected the wrong kind of energy. I viewed myself as a nice guy, hard-working, faithful, etc, like you. But my profile was screaming "Hey! Let's F*ck!"

I wasn't looking at myself the way other people looked at me, and when I realized that, I had to change my pictures, and re-write my profile to be more humble.

That slowed down the amount of responses I got, big time, but I finally hooked a good fish that went on a genuine respectable date with me. The issue was quality over quantity.

The moral of the story? What energy are you projecting that's screwing you up?

[rafterman]

This thread is dead. Chris was as high as! He liked smokin the grass instead of mowin' the grass

[smackie9]

Well I guess if you can't pass the oral exam..................

[skeeziix]

I just think that people in general are confused about what they want, the grass is always greener syndrome or don't know what you have till it's gone or want their cake and to eat it too. I say just got to find someone who is of like interest and figure it out right away instead of wasting time and investment. Maybe you need to meet someone who has had all the shitty guys and is now ready for the 'nice' guy. I am lol!

[boobaa]

Ahhhhh.....I went through this very same problem myself, until recently.

I kept getting used as a sex object because of my writing and facebook pictures, for about 4 years. I was a good guy, like you, but I that's not the energy that I was projecting.

What you need to do is sit down and look at yourself from a third-person's perspective. What is it that you do, or what is it about your life, that makes women attracted to you, but not see you as anything long term?

You're on a relationship forum, so that automatically indicates that you care; anyone who didn't care wouldn't have thought to google this place to begin with.

There's something about your life/energy that you're projecting that makes you seem not worth keeping around for long. I'd have to get to know you personally to tell you more of what that is, but it looks like you need to do some soul-searching and delve a little more into how a woman may view you. I guarantee it's not in the way that you view yourself.

EDIT: To further elaborate on that, I was on match.com a few months ago. Most of my pictures were model-esque muscular pics...real eye candy for women or gay men. It attracted TONS of attention, and I get many responses/dates. But none of them stayed with me for long. We'd meet, have sex, keep having sex, then we'd die out. To a horny male, that may sound awesome...but it's not what I really wanted. You'd be surprised at how lonely attractive men/women can actually be.

I couldn't figure out why I was getting dates, but no commitment. The answer was in the attitude of my profile, and the kind of pictures I had up. I mean, this is just one example, but think about it: my profile projected the wrong kind of energy. I viewed myself as a nice guy, hard-working, faithful, etc, like you. But my profile was screaming "Hey! Let's F*ck!"

I wasn't looking at myself the way other people looked at me, and when I realized that, I had to change my pictures, and re-write my profile to be more humble.

That slowed down the amount of responses I got, big time, but I finally hooked a good fish that went on a genuine respectable date with me. The issue was quality over quantity.

The moral of the story? What energy are you projecting that's screwing you up?

Thanks for the info.

I've been approached, not much, but have. Every "relationship" I have been in has turned into me being used as a sex object and eventually a friend. And usually only people I attract are the ones with relationships or people who have just split up. I guess girls view me as a "lover" type...
Must be something about my lifestyle, but what? I don't go out, I am not chatty, I am just a boring person. And I am not even muscular or that good looking (though my face has changed quite a bit in last few years). What the hell?

Might be I am just insecure in some places and women learn that after a while. But this insecurity is exactly from that problem I described above.