point of distinction between love and 'spend the rest of our lives together' love

[Richardeg]

I have recently split with my partner of 16 months. My partner says that she loves me and everything in the relationship was love, but that she cant spend the rest of our lives together.

Am i wrong or if 2 people love each other and there is no fighting and btw the sex was always fantastic, that there should be a difference?

I just dont get this cant spend the rest of our lives together. THere hasnt been any cheating or anything, so I keep saying that if 2 people love blah blah blah.

I could understand it if the love was no longer there.

Since the split we have both been upset and confused. Everytime I contacted I was tearing her apart so I stopped.

But I think that she wants the friendship and all the fun etc, but not the relationship. I dont think I can.

Am I crazy? Feel free to tell me as it is.

[tomtom8p]

First of all, don't be friends with her. She can't have you both ways. If she wants you in her life then she'd better be with you. She doesn't get to have all the fun with you while making no commitment. Being friends will only hurt you and give her exactly what she wants. So don't even consider being her friend. The second thing is she is probably afraid of commitment. I don't know your situation very well and I don't know her state of mind so I can only make a guess based on your post. And as far as I can tell everything in your relationship seems to be perfect. Perhaps it is to perfect and she is worried about getting tied down. Unfortunately I cannot help you beyond this. I've never been in your situation. Maybe somebody else can shed some more light on why she might be afraid to commit to you.

[Stillits]

I'm having a bit of the same problem. Except it's not a traditional break-up, but we're having a time out with no contact that may very well end up with me never seeing him again.

It's really similar to my situation (except we have been together for 2.5 years), he says he loves me so much, that he could see himself being tied down with me, that our relationship is so awesome etc. There has been no cheating and we rarely argued, problems were quickly solved. Despite these things he requested some time to think for himself if he wanted to commit to me (as in moving in together in a year). It makes no sense to me, I know he is happy in my company and we always have a good time.

It probably is the fear of commitment? But what exactly is causing this fear? It seems so stupid to give up a good relationship..