This is never going to end :(

**Wakeup** · 22-08-11, 11:16 AM

Originally Posted by JadenMia

Do they get the police involved or anything? I really dont want that to happen..

Why when you have photos and you have a witness. Why should he go unpunished for this? Anyway. You can tell the people on the hotline exactly what you've just told us and they will direct you on what you can do so that you're not a fvcking prisoner in your own home. They have experience with aiding and directing battered women far more than we have here. There are likely support groups and safe houses and advice on pressing charges. You don't have to give your name or location I'd imagine so they can't arrest him if they don't know who he is or where he is. You need therapy as well and that would be something else you could discuss with them. I would imagine they would talk to you about having him arrested though... Because it's what should be done. Not even the effing Mayor of your town should get away with what he's done... I don't care how well you think he's liked.

You can't not ever go out again in fear that he'll do this again. You can't keep contacting him trying to make him feel guilty and then he contacts you and gives you empty apologies. That's just part of the abuse cycle.

**JadenMia** · 22-08-11, 11:22 AM

Originally Posted by HeartIsAching

What is it going to take? Do you have to be hospitalized before you'll do what you need to? Why do you want this scumbag to be free to assault you at will?

No..

I really dont want that, but it is so complicated here in town if i was to call the cops again. They treated it like a silly teenage argument last time and i felt like a complete idiot. The fact that all they did was contact him, told him i had called them to tell them he was harrassing me, hurting me and wouldnt leave me alone caused me ALOT of shit.. I dont want that to happen to me again. My ex lies through his teeth and just said i was spiteful because he had left me and trying to cause crap.. They didnt do anything.. Even though the cops know him all too well, he has a DUI, he has been in the drunk tank more times than i can count on my fingers.. So they know hes a complete idiot.

To be honest everybody has turned a blind eye to it, the bouncers at the bar, the owner, people around here. Nobody will do anything because he is so well known, everyone here seems to related to him in some way.. Its depressing.
The only people that know and actually seem to give a shit is the cab company. I guess they are getting the police involved they said.. So maybe it will be taken more seriously this time and then it wont be my fault if everything blows up at least.

**Wakeup** · 22-08-11, 11:27 AM

I really dont want that, but it is so complicated here in town if i was to call the cops again. They treated it like a silly teenage argument last time and i felt like a complete idiot. The fact that all they did was contact him, told him i had called them to tell them he was harrassing me, hurting me and wouldnt leave me alone caused me ALOT of shit..

You have photos of your injuries and you have a witness. They can't treat it like a silly little teenage thing again.

You enable him when you let him get away with it.

Your thread title "This Is Never Going To End" well, no it's not because he goes unpunished and never has to face the consequences of his actions.

**misombra** · 22-08-11, 11:40 AM

he kicked your ass and you texted him the next day?

don't call the cops call a therapist.

**Cerby** · 22-08-11, 02:11 PM

Originally Posted by JadenMia

No..

I really dont want that, but it is so complicated here in town if i was to call the cops again. They treated it like a silly teenage argument last time and i felt like a complete idiot. The fact that all they did was contact him, told him i had called them to tell them he was harrassing me, hurting me and wouldnt leave me alone caused me ALOT of shit.. I dont want that to happen to me again. My ex lies through his teeth and just said i was spiteful because he had left me and trying to cause crap.. They didnt do anything.. Even though the cops know him all too well, he has a DUI, he has been in the drunk tank more times than i can count on my fingers.. So they know hes a complete idiot.

To be honest everybody has turned a blind eye to it, the bouncers at the bar, the owner, people around here. Nobody will do anything because he is so well known, everyone here seems to related to him in some way.. Its depressing.
The only people that know and actually seem to give a shit is the cab company. I guess they are getting the police involved they said.. So maybe it will be taken more seriously this time and then it wont be my fault if everything blows up at least.

I know a girl who was raped in her apartment by her ex. She feared the same things, but decided to press charges anyways. She was persuaded by HER OWN FAMILY to drop the charges and stop being such a drama queen, but she still pushed through with it because it was the right thing to do. I have a great deal of respect for her, and even though the Crown decided not to pursue the case because of lack of evidence, she tried her best to get the justice she was due.

At what point are you going to start realizing the difference between what is right and what is easiest? You sound like you're trying to save his reputation, and you've already pre-determined that the police won't do anything. I'm sorry to say, but you're making yourself a victim here because you're not willing to fight. Take your signature down and replace it, you're not living by "You have all the weapons you need... Now fight!"

**MaidenMinx** · 22-08-11, 02:49 PM

Jaden, anything worth doing is never easy. Please respect yourself enough to realise that this needs to be done. No matter what happens there, you'll have the respect and support of here. You need to do this for yourself and for any other woman that might end up in the same scenario.

How bout this? I was sexually abused as a teenager and never reported it, just had it dealt with in family. I was only 14. I told my sister about it and she was horrified I had never reported it because he may have done it again. I told her I would seriously consider reporting it now, not to necessarily have him charged but to make sure his name is attached to a file. I have still done nothing for a variety of excuses.
So, I'll report the idiot I know, if you report this. There will be a record of your previous report, that will go in your favour.

**rafterman** · 22-08-11, 10:57 PM

Originally Posted by MaidenMinx

.So, I'll report the idiot I know, if you report this. There will be a record of your previous report, that will go in your favour.

Minx, thats a ridulous ultimatem, so what your saying is, its either 2 crims in jail, or 2 crims out of jail??? These are two seperate incidents, And both need to be addressed acordingly. FFS

**asdfg789** · 23-08-11, 12:15 AM

I don't get it - don't your family and friends know what happened ? and they are just letting it go and not encouraging you to pursue it ?

if my daughter, sister or friend got beaten the way you did, i will do everything possible to make sure that justice is done.

who is he ? some kind of major hockey star ??

**Wakeup** · 23-08-11, 02:50 AM

Originally Posted by asdfg789

I don't get it - don't your family and friends know what happened ? and they are just letting it go and not encouraging you to pursue it ?

if my daughter, sister or friend got beaten the way you did, i will do everything possible to make sure that justice is done.

who is he ? some kind of major hockey star ??

Seriously, Jaden! What asdfg789 said. It's almost starting to sound like you're making this up.

**misombra** · 23-08-11, 02:59 AM

she doesn't want to get him into trouble because that would mean more trouble for her. cops don't always make situations better for people. sometimes they come in and blame the victim and take their kids away for putting them in danger. seen it happen before.

**MerryH** · 23-08-11, 04:43 AM

Holy shit, Jaden. Holy shit.

Please consider pressing charges. This isn't something that anyone can just pass off as relationship drama. You are a single woman who was trying to mind her own business when someone came up to you (unprovoked!) and assaulted you. Call the police and if they won't do anything, take it further. Call that hotline that was posted and ask them what to do if the cops refuse to act. You can not let him get away with this. Don't worry about looking stupid or causing drama for him. It is his behavior that will cause trouble for him, not you. You are not at fault for this. If everyone hates you for it, they are wrong, not you. **** those small town small-minded idiots. **** them.

I worry that if you do nothing now, then you're going to be at risk of being assaulted every time you leave your home. Or maybe you'll be too scared to leave your home. Either way, you shouldn't have to live like that. Don't do nothing about this, Jaden.

Originally Posted by rafterman

Minx, thats a ridulous ultimatem, so what your saying is, its either 2 crims in jail, or 2 crims out of jail??? These are two seperate incidents, And both need to be addressed acordingly. FFS

Don't be a dick. She wasn't issuing an ultimatum, she was trying to be supportive and show solidarity. It was a nice gesture.

**Wakeup** · 23-08-11, 07:19 AM

Originally Posted by misombra

she doesn't want to get him into trouble because that would mean more trouble for her. cops don't always make situations better for people. sometimes they come in and blame the victim and take their kids away for putting them in danger. seen it happen before.

She lives in Canada. She doesn't have to fear that kind of horseshit. That's why I'm questioning what she's saying. The first time she reported was probably mild harassment. This time is much more than that and she has a witness and pictures of the damage he caused. She no longer lives with this piece of shit so childrens aid would not be involved unless Jaden herself is somehow neglecting her daughter which I don't believe she is.

**MaidenMinx** · 23-08-11, 07:57 AM

Rafterman, Merry hit the nail on the head. I really do NOT want to go to the cops and have to describe and relive what happened to me. I know I should though. My hope was/is Jaden will see it as a supportive gesture, not the ultimatum you imply it is.

**JadenMia** · 23-08-11, 08:32 AM

Im honestly not making anything up. It is all true and i wouldnt come here to lie about anything.. There are select few people who know, my sister, i wouldnt ever tell my parents about this, and my closest friend. Now my work friends as they saw the bite marks and stuff today..
It seems like im taking the easy way out.. I am in a way... He isnt a major hockey star, he is a well know guy in this small stupid town. He went to school with everyone, everyone else went to school with his brother and sister. His parents are the accountants for every other person in town, family is in the police force here in town.. Nothing i say or do, will make anyone think that hes anything other than a great guy who has a few issues.

Honestly, nobody gives a shit what he does, he gets away with everything that he does wrong and i dont think it will ever change. I mean, today i spoke to the cab company and they told me they had called the police to make a report. They called me after work today and they asked me to go in tomorrow to make a statement and then decide what to do then. I do know the sheriffs wife here, and iv spoken to her about this before so they do have an idea. But i am nervous, i guess i will make a statement. The marks are all still on me so they can see for themselves..

I am just so ****ing scared its making me throw up and not be able to eat.. This is my life and i have to endure it, what the aftermath brings of me going tomorrow is just another thing, i felt like i had gotten him out of my life and now hes back in it. I know people dont understand how i feel, or how any of this actually is.. But its draining, upsetting and on top of alll this, i miss us being good together. Yes, after all the upset he puts me through.. after everything this is how i feel. I just cannot explain it and i dont expect anyone to understand it because i dont even understand it.

**Wakeup** · 23-08-11, 10:33 AM

Yes, after all the upset he puts me through.. after everything this is how i feel. I just cannot explain it and i dont expect anyone to understand it because i dont even understand it.

This is why you need counciling. To help you get over the psychological dependence he has over you.

Did you call the hotline? I don't think you did because if you did they would help you be less scared. They understand better than we would too. There is no reason to be afraid to call people that can actually help you.

Thread: This is never going to end :(

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