This is never going to end :(

[JadenMia]

Well, i just wanted to talk to someone.. About this horrible situation i still cant seem to get out of.
Getting over my ex was going pretty well. I thought i was doing well, it has been a few months and even though i still missed him terribly, i felt a little better.
Well my friend talked me into going out last night.. I didnt want to, because i knew my ex would be out. But figured after some persuasion it would be good for me to get out and have some fun and just stay away from him if i seen him.

Well, i just had a terrible feeling about it, i felt so nervous about everything.. but decided i was just uneasy about going out for the first time in a while. When we got to the bar, he was their, completely wasted. I ignored him and his dirty remarks and things were going well, seeing him hitting on other girls was a stab to the heart at first which completely turned my mind from having any sort of fun.
I couldnt take anymore, so left feeling really upset. I said goodbye to my friends and called the cab and waited.
I seen him walking towards me, i figured he might have an apology or something .. anything nice. But no, he starts calling me names.. again. I told him to f*ck off and started walking away calling the cab to see where it was. He grabbed me and bit all my face, my shoulders and hit me in my eye.. Then slammed my head on the pavement.
The cab pulled up just as it was happening and i jumped in and we went on our way. The cab driver tried to persuade to go press charges on my way home but i just couldnt.
Everybody loves my ex in town, it would cause so much hassle for me its not even worth it.. If i was to move away i would, but not when me and my daughter have to live here..

This morning, i feel sore, bruised and cut. I feel heartbroken he could even do something like this.. I just dont know wtf i did in my life to deserve this.. I just dont understand.. I feel alone again, i dont want to tell anyone about it and cause fights and trouble..
I miss him, i dont miss him, i hate him, i just cannot seem to forget about it all.. Now today i text him like an idiot.. i feel like i am back to step one and i just hate it..

This sure got rid of all my intense sexual cravings thats for sure. I feel SO low.. I just wanted some kind words or someone to talk to really.. How can i possibly bring this up to anyone.. I have to work tomorrow and everybodies going to ask what has happened to my face.. Im just so embarrassed.. I just loved him so much i just dont understand what happened and why he is doing this to me.. How can someone do this to another person.

I fear i will never forget about him. I wont be going out again anytime soon thats for sure.. He has ruined my life..

[HeartIsAching]

Are you ****ing kidding me? He bit you, hit you and slammed your head into the pavement and you won't call the cops? Holy crap. He needs to go to jail. You can still call the cops. The cab company will know who your cab driver was, if he witnessed anything you can get him to testify as well.

PLEASE call the cops.

[maxmax]

You need to report this as an ASSAULT ... straight away.

What will he do next time?

He is abusive and violent, and needs to get out of your life.

That's not going to happen if he is free to act as he wishes.

Please think about reporting this, or at least call one of the anonymous advice lines about what has happened?

[Wakeup]

I'm sorry Jaden but I do not know how to console women who refuse to help themselves. Maybe this site will get you the help the you so need. Getting better starts with YOU and what YOU do to get past all this.

[url=http://www.awhl.org/?gclid=CL_K_Lq34aoCFYfCKgod6AzF_A]assaulted women's helpline - home[/url]

[maxmax]

Everybody loves my ex in town, it would cause so much hassle for me its not even worth it.. If i was to move away i would, but not when me and my daughter have to live here..

Do people in your town actually know what kind of person he is? That he would do this to someone? To physically and repeatedly assault a woman, and in public? Because if they do, then firstly they don't deserve to be on your mind, they don't deserve your consideration, and secondly, you need to move away from that place.

If they don't know that he is capable of this, then they are hardly going to hold it against you for being a victim.

Most importantly, you need to do what is important for you and your safety.

I fear i will never forget about him. I wont be going out again anytime soon thats for sure.. He has ruined my life..

You cannot allow him to take over your life like this. You are probably scared, of him, of what others might think, but you need to think of yourself.

You need to go to a police station, report this, have photos taken a.s.a.p. of the injuries he has caused you.

This might be the last thing you want to do, but you really have to try to think clearly about this.

I hope you make the right decision.

[HeartIsAching]

Oh and by the way:

YOU DID NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS. This isn't your fault, you didn't bring it on, this is all on him.

HE DID THIS. Make him take responsibility for his actions by calling the cops.

[Vanessa]

I agree with everyone else, you can't let him just walk away like that after what he did to you. What if it happens again? What if next time it's worse?

[MaidenMinx]

Oh hun!!!! Agree with everyone else and I would like to add, next time trust your gut.

Please don't let him get away with this. At least tell someone who knows him.

[JadenMia]

Thanks everybody, i really needed to vent this out its getting me down just thinking about it.. I dont understand it and its driving my mind crazy..

I really did think about pressing charges, i have pictures taken and everything.. I just dont want to cause all that trouble, he has lived here all his life and everybody knows him. Its happened before and i made a big deal out of it and contacted the police before, they didnt really do anything, didnt give advice and it only caused a huge hassle for me.. Everybody hated me, nobody believed me.. I had smashed teeth and still nobody believed me. Just thought i was a drama queen trying to cause trouble because we had fallen out.. I dont want to ever go through all that crap again, everything had finally blown over and been forgotten about so it would just make me look stupid.

I turned to my sister and we spoke about everything.. I feel a lot better and at ease about it now, i know i dont need him in my life and i will be fine without him. But it still hurts me when he does these things.. He called and text today after i sent him a long stupid upset message.. Just saying how sorry he was and its the alcohol that does it.. I just cant believe him..
I honestly just wish id never met him and wish that i was stronger to just not care about him or it..
Only the people i had been out with last night know about it, i still have all the texts he sent me after he did it.. Saying i was a skank and sucking the cab drivers d*ck.. Saying 'wana get beaten up? Me and my sister are coming for you right now..' It just boggles my mind how a person can do this sort of stuff... It just upsets me.
Its my birthday in 2 weeks so at least i have something to look forward to and keep me going.. Its just hard when something like this drains me of any positivity i had at all.

[rafterman]

Would you consider moving? I've experinced the "small town syndrome" before. I can understand the Police inaction on this. I mean its definately not right.The fact you were sent a threatening text is an offence,not to mention the rest of the stuff.

[JadenMia]

Would you consider moving? I've experinced the "small town syndrome" before. I can understand the Police inaction on this. I mean its definately not right.The fact you were sent a threatening text is an offence,not to mention the rest of the stuff.

I would most definitely consider moving. This small town BS is way too much for me i hate it. Especially being a 'newcomer' to the town, dating someone who is so well known and then this happening definitely is at my dis-advantage, it sucks. I would just have to move so far away from my family and i really like being close to my sisters and stuff.. They help me a lot. Although it is something that i have been thinking about a lot recently.

[Wakeup]

Did you look at that link or at least see if there is a support group in Alberta that will help you with this Or, will you do nothing again only to come here and tell us once again the same thing?

Personally I would like to see you come here and tell us what you've done to help yourself. What steps you've taken to get away from this situation. If you have photos and a witness then there is no fvking way that he'll get away with it this time.

And shame on your friends for letting you wait alone for a cab.

Call the battered women's hotline and start being pro-active now. You need to do this for yourself and your daughter who I'm sure will be traumatized when she sees your face.

Here's the link again. There is a toll free number that if that particular chapter can't help you then I'm sure they can hook you up with one in Alberta.

[url]http://www.awhl.org/?gclid=CL_K_Lq34aoCFYfCKgod6AzF_A[/url]

Edited to add: Have a plan to escape from this, hon. Venting here may be cathartic but it isn't going to fix this.

Let us know what they say.

[JadenMia]

Im just not sure what exactly anything like this would help? Like, is it just advice? Or what is that hotline actually for? I just dont understand what they are for..

The only thing i see that is helping me is staying away from him and staying NC. Which i have been doing, its not like i refuse to help myself because i have been helping myself by not seeing him or talking to him. Which has been a tough time to stick it out, but i still did.

[JadenMia]

Do they get the police involved or anything? I really dont want that to happen..

[HeartIsAching]

What is it going to take? Do you have to be hospitalized before you'll do what you need to? Why do you want this scumbag to be free to assault you at will?