I need help :/

[Built To Fall]

I love my girlfriend more than anything or anyone. I really do... She's friends with a few guys (she's grown up mostly with guys around her) and I don't really have a problem with that all too much, because I myself am friends with more females than males. But there are a couple guy friends of her's that I just can't help but worry about. I trust her. I know she'd never jeopardise what we have. But these guys give me a weird feeling. Especially one of them. He's constantly wanting to take her driving to places that barely any people go. So far, I've convinced her not to go driving with him, but he's started telling her that she shouldn't let me control her (I don't think I'm controlling... Just cautious and caring). I'm worried that he's trying to turn her against me and eventually will do something to her... I can't stand the thought of her with another guy. It tears me apart inside. She tells me that she can take care of herself, but I can't shake this feeling.

I had a similar feeling in my last relationship and my ex was raped by a guy that she considered 'her best friend'. She ended up killing herself. I can't have that happen with my current girlfriend. I've never loved anymore like I love her. I don't want to lose her for any reason, but I also don't want to be hurt when we get real far down the track... Is there a way I can stop this feeling and trust the trust she has in herself?

[HeartIsAching]

I trust her. I know she'd never jeopardise what we have. But these guys give me a weird feeling. Especially one of them. He's constantly wanting to take her driving to places that barely any people go. So far, I've convinced her not to go driving with him, but he's started telling her that she shouldn't let me control her (I don't think I'm controlling... Just cautious and caring). I'm worried that he's trying to turn her against me and eventually will do something to her... I can't stand the thought of her with another guy. It tears me apart inside. She tells me that she can take care of herself, but I can't shake this feeling.

I had a similar feeling in my last relationship and my ex was raped by a guy that she considered 'her best friend'. She ended up killing herself. I can't have that happen with my current girlfriend. I've never loved anymore like I love her. I don't want to lose her for any reason, but I also don't want to be hurt when we get real far down the track... Is there a way I can stop this feeling and trust the trust she has in herself?

You pay lip-service to the notion that you trust her, but you don't. You don't trust her, you don't trust her judgement and you are controlling. You need to recognize that the only person that needs to take care of her situation is her. You may not LIKE her decisions, but they're hers to make and not yours. You can either break up with her, or live with her choices, even if she makes ones you think are wrong. You can make her aware of your concerns, but after that you need to butt the hell out.

[Alex2]

Next time why not say something like "hey that sounds cool...can I come to?"

[devonbrown]

Your past experiences are coloring how you are viewing the current situation. Have you told your gf about your past experiences?

Let her know you are more concerned with her safety than anything else. Get her some pepper spray. Ask her if she wouldn't mind if you came along to get to know this other guy better.

After you have done all your due diligence, there is not much more you can do. If you really trust her to not do anything against your relationship, and you have eliminated as much of the safety factor as you can, you have to look at your own insecurities.

Good luck.