Should I defriend my ex from facebook if I still hope we could ever get back?

[2bstrong]

Hi all,

My ex started hiding her facebook wall from me recently (quite long after our breakup). I didn't do it back.

I sometimes think we could still have a chance at making it work if she could get past some hangups. There wasn't any nastiness in our breakup. We're still visible to each other on chat but no longer talk.

I feel depressed nowadays that we can't even be friends, and that she wants me out of her life when I didn't even do anything to her. Should I just defriend her? If I do, it may mean the True End. I guess I'm a little reluctant to get to that point.

Advice please?

[rafterman]

Why would you want to know your ex's buisness anyway? Youll never move on if you keep looking at her profile. I suggest you delete her, and delete your own account. Dont rely on such a retarded social media (FB) to control your life. It sounds like your just clutching at straws with her and shes got hang ups as you said. Time to let her go.

[lost_girl]

You'll never get the closure you want until you delete her from your life. Some ppl are able to be friends after a break-up, others can't. If they do, it usually takes time. Now is not that time to have her in your life. Obviously she needs you out of her life in order for her to move on. You need the same thing. Do your own thing, whether it's taking up new/old hobbies or hanging out with ppl. Do everything you can to refocus on your own life so that, eventually, it won't matter if it's 'the end' or not.

[2bstrong]

Ok I admit 2 things, which are probably gonna sound pathetic but well :

a) I want to delete her so she never has a chance to delete me
b) I know it'll affect her (she's super-sensitive) and of the 3 exes she had before me, she only pines for the one who dumped her (and caused her the most emotional hurt). So the twisted part of me wants to dish her back the immense pain she has caused me so far (she's the one who dumped me and also the one waltzing in and out of my life, sometimes friendly sometimes no).

Do I sound like a jerk? A very hurt jerk actually.

[gonzilla]

Delete her asap.

I posted my tale of heartbreak recently and, despite my ex being the only person I was ever really in love with, I deleted her from facebook and every IM program I had her listed on. I learned when we initially broke up that the temptation to look at her wall was torturing me. I spent my time imagining all of the things she was doing and a world of fun she was having since we split. Your focus needs to be on you. What she does doesn't matter and trying to hurt her won't make you feel any better.

You also need to forget about getting back together with her. You have no idea if it will happen or not and you just need to move on with your life. Any happiness you encounter - with any girl - will be because you focused on yourself and made sure you're mentally and emotionally secure and happy.

[rafterman]

Ok I admit 2 things, which are probably gonna sound pathetic but well :

a) I want to delete her so she never has a chance to delete me
b) I know it'll affect her (she's super-sensitive) and of the 3 exes she had before me, she only pines for the one who dumped her (and caused her the most emotional hurt). So the twisted part of me wants to dish her back the immense pain she has caused me so far (she's the one who dumped me and also the one waltzing in and out of my life, sometimes friendly sometimes no).

Do I sound like a jerk? A very hurt jerk actually.

If you dont delete her and your account I will call you a jerk, seriously my friends dont exist on facebook,because they are real....get the picture??

[DarkHelmet82]

delete her.. i did with mine.. it will make you feel better.. you dont need her.. and you dont have a chance of getting back with her.. the sooner you realize that the quicker you will heal

[julinneray]

Delete her asap.

I posted my tale of heartbreak recently and, despite my ex being the only person I was ever really in love with, I deleted her from facebook and every IM program I had her listed on. I learned when we initially broke up that the temptation to look at her wall was torturing me. I spent my time imagining all of the things she was doing and a world of fun she was having since we split. Your focus needs to be on you. What she does doesn't matter and trying to hurt her won't make you feel any better.

You also need to forget about getting back together with her. You have no idea if it will happen or not and you just need to move on with your life. Any happiness you encounter - with any girl - will be because you focused on yourself and made sure you're mentally and emotionally secure and happy.

I definitely agree with this user. first all, it's going to be so hard for you to move on if you keep seeing what is going on her life because you are going to wish it was either you that was with her or you may just wish that she becomes as miserable as you and number 2, at this point just focus on yourself and make sure you move on with your life.

[2bstrong]

I don't see what's going on in her life as she's hidden her wall for a few months now. I didn't hide my wall as I wanted to be indifferent and let her see that life goes on for me.

I'm veering towards deleting her, but I am serious when I say I can do the friendship thing (we were friends beforehand), and I have always felt we could/should resume that friendship.

If I delete her now, it may close that door forever. That's what makes me reluctant.

[nestorz]

I had a similar situation and was thinking alot about deleting her from facebook.

But I didn't because I found a way to heal and move on without deleting her.

I'm going out all the time, hanging with my friends, meeting new girls... Basically just enjoying life.

Do I still miss her sometimes? Yes, of course I do but I know I'll be perfectly fine without her.


I switched sides, because now she is the one who sees my fb profile with pictures and posts and know how well I'm doing without her.

Knowing that she sees I don't depend on her is a huge confidence boost and it is helping me ALOT.

+ I stayed fair and polite by not deleting her, she has nothing to say against me and I find that important because a good word spreads around the city quite fast, I know that from my previous relationships.

[2bstrong]

Thanks nestorz, for sharing your experience.

It's been a few weeks and I feel better already. Been too busy with work to mope about it!

Yup, I agree. I prefer taking the high road. I'm going to live well and she's gonna have to see it.

Cheers