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Thread: Was I played?

  1. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by leoben View Post
    Actually many guys prefer having their ego stroked over easy sex any day of the week. Five dates is a while to wait nowadays, and on top of making him wait she left him feeling like he was horrible in bed. After that double ego crush why would he call her again?

    Now I'm curious though, was he correct in thinking you left because the sex was bad?
    ^^^^ This, I was wondering why she left after he offered for her to stay. She was the one who decided to leave. I dont get it. You liked this guy enough to let him put his penis inside you, but you did'nt like him enough to stay, it could be argued as to who used who? I think getting up and leaving like that shows a bit of poor form on her behalf. I would'nt be in a rush to talk to you either.

  2. #17
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    Yes, because if a girl has sex with you at your place, she is bound and obligated to stay the night. The ENTIRE night, even if you roll over and go to sleep immediately afterward and even if she has obligations to attend to. And if she dares to leave? Then the appropriate response is to shun her, basically. Ignore her attempts to apologize and subsequently ignore her texts. I mean, **** her. She makes you wait five dates before putting out and then, like, just leaves and goes home after telling you she had a really great time?! What the ****!

  3. #18
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    If I could I'd hit thanks multiple times for that, I would.

    OP, I do think these guys have a point. I think if you had explained before the act that you couldn't stay all night, it probably would have been ok. You pretty much did the dine and dash but had more than just a meal.

    I don't think waiting til the 5th date would have been part of the problem, and if it was well he was a jerk. Then again, I am yet to meet a Virgo man who treats sex frivolously.

    Do try to explain a little more clearly, he may be worth it. I like wake ups idea of contacting him through the site you met on.
    'People are never perfect but love can be. People waste time looking for the perfect lover rather than creating the perfect love' - Princess Leigh-Cheri from Still Life With Woodpecker.

  4. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by MerryH View Post
    Yes, because if a girl has sex with you at your place, she is bound and obligated to stay the night. The ENTIRE night, even if you roll over and go to sleep immediately afterward and even if she has obligations to attend to. And if she dares to leave? Then the appropriate response is to shun her, basically. Ignore her attempts to apologize and subsequently ignore her texts. I mean, **** her. She makes you wait five dates before putting out and then, like, just leaves and goes home after telling you she had a really great time?! What the ****!
    Yes but imagined if were a male doing that? You need to look at the flipside.....clearly you are not.
    So o.k she's not obligated to stay the night, why is he obligated to call her? I look foward to your response?
    Last edited by rafterman; 23-08-11 at 05:25 PM.

  5. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by MaidenMinx View Post
    and if it was well he was a jerk. Then again, I am yet to meet a Virgo man who treats sex frivolously. .
    Thats just like me saying that all sagitatrian women are sluts.....thats how broad your statement is??????

  6. #21
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    wow... Even after I apologized and told him over and over that it was really good even though he was being hard on himself that he didn't perform as well as he could have? I can't believe men are that sensitive!

    And I had to leave for personal reasons. I had my kid at home (though a teenager and can take care alone) I felt I hadn't told my kid I'd be away overnight. I felt very uncomfortable staying and this was the first time I was doing this in years since my divorce and I just didn't feel comfortable staying and I told him that. I just hadn't planned for it and felt horrible.

    I've decided that if he really believes that I left because he wasn't any good, then it's because of his insecurities. The least he could have done was tell me he won't go ahead with this because I was leaving. That's what I would have done.

    And NO I didn't leave because the sex wasn't good. It was pleasurable and I was honest that it was. He was upset because he hadn't lasted as long as he said he could. In my view, he was great cos he went 2 sessions anyway. So what was I supposed to do about that? I had also told him from the get-go that I wasn't going to stay the night because I hadn't planned for it.

    I didn't go into details on my feeling uncomfortable staying because he kept saying he couldn't understand why I wasn't staying!! Like how am I supposed to help him get over his insecurities? I'm thinking he'll contact me before the week ends and I'll come here and tell you all what he says.

    And it wasn't like we were waiting for 5 dates to have sex. I went to his place and one thing led to another. lol

    There has to be a difference between a man and a woman guys!!
    Last edited by curiousgirly; 23-08-11 at 07:03 PM.

  7. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by curiousgirly View Post
    There has to be a difference between a man and a woman guys!!
    LOL....of course there is..... Your allowed to do what your doing cause your a female and alot of female posters have supported that. Oh and BTW, he may have insecurities, but you have your baggage as well. I would'nt go near you with 10 foot pole, I would'nt hold my breath about him contacting you. Your a "Mc meal deal".....the fact your children issue, caused you to bail on him and spoiled the intamacy. Sorry love...not attractive.

  8. #23
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    Some of these posters, like rafter, have issues.

    You didn't do anything wrong.

    He took it wrong due to his own insecurities and then acted like an ass over it - Both of which should be signs to stay away IMO.
    If I were him I would not have had a problem with you wanting to be returned home.

  9. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix23 View Post
    If I were him I would not have had a problem with you wanting to be returned home.
    Desperate times call for desperate measures.......dont forget your tin foil hat

  10. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by rafterman View Post
    Desperate times call for desperate measures.......dont forget your tin foil hat
    I That's fine if he doesn't contact me... We did have fun 5 dates, good conversation and he pleasures me... What more could I ask for?!

    And by the way, he has a kid and is divorced also... So that's no baggage to either of us. It's part of life

  11. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by curiousgirly View Post
    I That's fine if he doesn't contact me... We did have fun 5 dates, good conversation and he pleasures me... What more could I ask for?!

    And by the way, he has a kid and is divorced also... So that's no baggage to either of us. It's part of life
    If you play the game, theres always a chance of being played.......You did'nt say no when sex was offered, as you said...It takes two to tango.

  12. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by rafterman View Post
    If you play the game, theres always a chance of being played.......You did'nt say no when sex was offered, as you said...It takes two to tango.
    Huh?! Since when did sex become a game ?!

  13. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by MerryH View Post
    Yes, because if a girl has sex with you at your place, she is bound and obligated to stay the night. The ENTIRE night, even if you roll over and go to sleep immediately afterward and even if she has obligations to attend to. And if she dares to leave? Then the appropriate response is to shun her, basically. Ignore her attempts to apologize and subsequently ignore her texts. I mean, **** her. She makes you wait five dates before putting out and then, like, just leaves and goes home after telling you she had a really great time?! What the ****!
    She's not obligated to do anything, she is wondering what's going on in his mind and I'm telling her. Astrology aside they seem like a bad match, he's overly sensitive and that's not the kind of guy she's looking for. At the end of the day she did the right thing.

    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix23 View Post
    Some of these posters, like rafter, have issues.

    You didn't do anything wrong.

    He took it wrong due to his own insecurities and then acted like an ass over it - Both of which should be signs to stay away IMO.
    If I were him I would not have had a problem with you wanting to be returned home.
    And some of the men on here are lonely and will say anything to get a little female attention. I disagree with rafter that she did something wrong but he doesn't have any issues. Why do you think HeartIsAching is always talking about how his wife just said he gave her 7 orgasm's in a row or how much he misses her the couple days he's away every month. She has figured out the correct way to stroke his ego and he loves her for it. HIA, rafter and this guy curious was seeing aren't alone in craving ego stroking, every guy wants it on some level. If you don't figure out how to do it men are going to dump and pass you over no matter how attractive you are or how much sex you give them.

  14. #29
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    Leoben you are so right!! He even indicated on his profile that he is sensitive! Now I think of it, he constantly asked me for feedback on if I was enjoying the dates... Even when I repeatedly said I did!

    Usually I haven't had to keep stoking a guys ego. He also spoke a lot about his prowess in bed... So I can understand why he'd be disappointed in himself for not lasting as long as he wanted to... Bottom-line is, I really don't think I could have done anything different on my side!

  15. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by leoben View Post
    Actually many guys prefer having their ego stroked over easy sex any day of the week. Five dates is a while to wait nowadays, and on top of making him wait she left him feeling like he was horrible in bed. After that double ego crush why would he call her again?

    Now I'm curious though, was he correct in thinking you left because the sex was bad?
    ... lol ... If he's that bloody sensitive and non-confident about himself then I'd never be attracted to him and I'd not want him to call me again anyway.

    Bottom-line is, I really don't think I could have done anything different on my side!
    You likely moved too much. hahaha. made the poor dude cum before he was ready. *rolls eyes* I think you dodged a bullet. He's probable working his early ejaculating ass through the entire 50 mile radius of his home town profile. What kind of man boasts about how great he is in bed?

    He also spoke a lot about his prowess in bed
    Huge red flag. When they're good they don't need to boast because they know you'll be pleased without stroking their own ego.

    She's not obligated to do anything, she is wondering what's going on in his mind and I'm telling her. Astrology aside they seem like a bad match, he's overly sensitive and that's not the kind of guy she's looking for. At the end of the day she did the right thing.
    Agree except she went to bed with him expecting that just because she did he would call her the next day. If you're going to go to bed with him before you meet his friends or family then you should be prepared to discuss "what now" with him afterwards. Block him.

    ego stroking, every guy wants it on some level. If you don't figure out how to do it men are going to dump and pass you over no matter how attractive you are or how much sex you give them.
    So one should lie in order to keep some cry baby? No thanks. If he's actually pleasing, pleasant and pleasuring then we dont have to make it up, it just comes out of us naturally.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 23-08-11 at 11:55 PM.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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