I had a girl that was simply too good for me. I took her for granted and constantly started stupid fights, a lot of the time over text messages. Which was just the stupidest thing. And I can't for the life of me figure out how it always happened or why I couldn't figure out to stop it. We lost our v-cards to each other, we had rollercoaster times but a lot of good times and it ended so suddenly, like it was just under my nose but I couldn't catch it. I see exactly what I did wrong, and looking back I am full of regrets at what an idiot I was.

She was my companion in life and it was her that convinced me to stay home from university and attend community college last year. But I didn't mind living with my parents or doing stupid manual labor or going to a lame school, because I had this exciting romance going on. It made everything better. Now it's gone and I have 365 more days in this situation in my hometown. I feel stuck in a rut. I have good friends but they aren't her. I work with her older sister, every single day and I can't stand seeing something that so directly reminds me of her.

How can I make this year more bearable? I feel like I'm gonna explode.