Help Please!

[love-seeker]

Hey everyone,

I'm having a love dilemma and I feel so tired because I keep thinking about the solution alone, but i want to talk to other people who understand what I'm going through. So, I came here hoping to find help and assistant in my issue. I'm 21 and I'm attending a community college in Orange County, CA. I met a great woman from Europe on the Internet, and I've been talking to her for few months. We have been talking for hours for many days, and I told her that I love and want to see her and be with her. she told me that she need to think about it, but I can't wait. I really love her and I keep trying to prove to her that I love her. I made a video in her language, Ukrainian, to express my feeling to her, and I customized a shirt and wrote on it that I love her and want to be with her. I can't live without her, I keep thinking about her everywhere I go. I told her that I'm ready to move to her place, but I don't know if that a smart move because it will be hard to find a job, and I might need to start over college.I told her that she can move to my house and I will be able to spend on her, work, and study in the same time. I'll told her I'm ready to do anything just to be with her. btw, she is older than me, divorced, and have a 3 years old child, but still i love her and I want to be with her. I told her that I will treat her son as if he was my son. I love this girl and I wish to spend all my life with her.

Please tell me what you think about my problem, and please tell me if I did something wrong, I appreciate any help or advice.
Thanks

[DrBremer]

Hi,at first congratulations on your choice-ukrainian women are awesome!Now seriously,I couldn't understand where the problem is-You love her and she loves you-everything sounds more than great!What did she tell you when you asked her to come and live with you in the USA?Have you concidered the option to work for an US company based in Ukraine?I don't think that it wouldn't be a problem for you to find a job if you go there,but this is only my opinion based on conversations with friends who live there!I live in Bulgaria which is one country(Romania) away from Ukraine,so it is pretty easy for an american guy to find a good job here!And you will live more than well if you get an american salary in Ukraine!Anyway don't despair if she doesn't want to move to the USA!It is normal for a mother not to take a risk like this,because she has a lot to lose if the things don't work out with you!Plese let us know what she replied to your invitation!Thanks!

[love-seeker]

Thanks for your reply DrBremer. when I told her to come to the America she seemed to be afraid or sacred from that idea, but I told her that I want to come because I want to explore new cultures and understand them. My biggest problem is what to do over there. I don't have a degree or any other skill. I told her that I'm ready to work in anything just to be with her.

Have you concidered the option to work for an US company based in Ukraine? I did't know about that. Can you help me please and give me more details.

Thank you very much

[NotTheGuy]

Dude, not to be a downer here, because I know what you're feeling and I'm a hopeless romantic myself, but you're moving way too fast here.

People change a lot in their 20's, change some in their 30's, and so on...In my experience, most guys in their mid 30's end up wanting nothing to do with the girls they liked when they were 21. I know you probably feel like you're different from everybody else...Everybody else thought that too.

Again, this might work great for you, I hope it does. You just seem to be putting a whole lot on the line awfully quickly....

[love-seeker]

Thanks for the advise dude. I do feel I'm moving way too fast, but I know the woman for almost 5 months, and I just feel that she completes me. Anyway, I'm a stubborn man and I made my mind to go and live with her. The only thing that stops me from going there is I don't know what I'll work over there.

Thanks for your advise man and I hope you get a better romantic life

[Vanessa]

I made a video in her language, Ukrainian, to express my feeling to her, and I customized a shirt and wrote on it that I love her and want to be with her

Ok, the video might have been a romantic gesture, but a t shirt?

You sound overly enthusiastic and as if you haven't given much thought to the situation. You've only known this woman for a few months and you've never met her in person. Reality could be a 180 turn from the internet.

I don't have a degree or any other skill.

Then how do you expect to get a job in a completely different country that doesn't have quite a blossoming economy? How would you expect to continue your studies there? Have you even taken a look at job opportunities?

And overall how can you be sure you want to spend the rest of your life with this woman when you've never spent one day with her? Talking on the internet is nothing. It's only words and words do not build up a relationship.

Who knows, maybe it does work out for you. My money's on the other option though. Call me a cynical b*tch but if you were my friend I'd slap you silly until you re-entered reality.

[love-seeker]

Who knows, maybe it does work out for you. My money's on the other option though. Call me a cynical b*tch but if you were my friend I'd slap you silly until you re-entered reality.

True, I might need someone to slap me on the face so I wake up again, but life is short. I can learn a skill or something that could help me over there, but that don't mean to forgot the whole idea. Thank you Vanessa for your advise, but I prefer to take my chances with someone who might be the one for me.

Thank you

[DrBremer]

The good thing is that you have a target,and I would always bet on the risk as long as it is not all or nothing situation!As I said you just can't expect a mother with 3yr old child to leave everything and to go after a guy she knows from the internet!I think that for the moment the best decision for you is to go and spend a week with her,after that you will have more real image of the whole situation!Don't rush to throw all your life and hopes for something that could prove to be unreal!I assume that it would not be a problem for you to take 2k from your parents or friends for the trip and see how she looks and acts like in the real life.Have you ever concidered that she could not appear at the airport to meet you?There is a chance for this to happen and you would be devastated if you got there with the intention to live with her for good!Make a one week vacation and you will know if this could work or not!In this case you will lose nothing but a monthly salary back in the US!On the top of that you will have a good vacation abroad,you will see a lot of things and you can see if there is any chance of finding a job there!Plese keep us posted on this!Thanks!

[love-seeker]

I totally agree with you man. I told her that I'm going to visit her next summer because both of us agreed on the point (that we might not like each other when we actually meet in the real life). However, I'm already planning to continue my education in Europe, and I have already start applying to universities in Germany, Austria, Norway, Sweden, and Ukraine of course. so it will not be problem for me to visit her hopefully.