Boyfriend gets mad at me for working

[inquiringminds]

Hi,

I was wondering if I could get some insight into some issues. My boyfriend gets mad at me when I have to work on weekends and I am unable to see him. The thing is, he doesn't have a car. He will send me text messages demanding that I come see him. He doesn't ask, he tells. He was well aware that I would sometimes have to work long hours and sometimes on weekends, but gives me grief about it. He has a job and if that job sometimes needed him to work on weekends I wouldn't have a problem with it. I have also noticed that not once during this so called 2 month relationship, he hasn't said anything about coming to see me. He has many male friends and cousins in which he could ask to borrow their car from time to time. I don't think he plans on coming to see me at all or else he would be trying to find ways to get to me.

Another issue is that he is already talking about getting married and moving in together. I am not ready for that and have told him so. Even that gets him upset. We have not been together long enough for neither getting married nor moving in together. He lives with his sister and I feel that he is looking for a way out of that situation by any means possible.

He will tell me he loves me, but yet when I don't respond the way he thinks I should, he gets upset.

Any thoughts?

[devonbrown]

I have a distinct feeling that most of the thoughts you are going to get are going to be along these lines - dump this loser. He sounds like he is controlling and borderline abusive, not to mention being clingy and unrealistic in his approach to dating/relationships.

Break it off with him and find someone better.

Good luck.

[Kyrina]

He is emotionally abusing you already with his if you love me answer this way, come see me now, sorry hun but i think your birthday present from this guy will be a collar and leash,so he has you fully under his control.The i love you may sound like he means it but his other actions and demands are saying he doesnt.
Get out of this relationship before he really abuses you physically,it doesnt sound that far in the future coming.

[inquiringminds]

Well speak of the devil. He just texted me telling me to come see him this weekend. There was not a "how is your day" or "how are you doing" whatsoever. In fact, it has never been that way, except of course when I ask him how his day is going or how he is doing. The only time he perks up is when I am coming to see him. But when I don't come see him he goes out clubbing and drinking as revenge and acts cold with me.

It's a very good thing I have not been intimate with this guy. I withheld for my own personal reasons.

Should I dump him in person? I don't know how he would react seeing as how upset he gets at me over little things.

[Boisdevie]

I'd not even give him the time of day with a reply. The guy is a compete dickhead and deserves to be dumped asap

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Text him that it's over and not to contact you anymore. Stop responding to all contact from him. Simple.

[Kyrina]

I wouldnt pay for the gas and text is the next thing, because i wouldnt trust this guy not to get physical, sorry these guys are not to be trusted i speak from expierence.

[devonbrown]

Should I dump him in person?

Don't bother giving him the satisfaction. He doesn't deserve it. Just text him and say no to this weekend or any other weekend. And then cut all contact with him. Trust me, you will be much better off.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Also, don't let him pull you into a fight. I can tell you will want to respond to him, but once you send that text, do not send a single response to any questions or rage fits(they will come).

[Jazzersize]

You should obey your man. Give up your career and surrender all power and hope to him. He knows what's best for you. That's how God intended.

[inquiringminds]

I texted him back and said that it was over between us and that I did not want any further contact.

But of course he texts back: "Please don't leave me. I love you. Come see me and let's talk this over"

I didn't respond to that.

After about an hour he sends another text: "What kind of person breaks up over text message. You took the coward way out. Adults break up in person"

I didn't respond and have blocked his number. I am serious and have absolutely had enough of the games. I need to move on for my own health, safety, and sanity. I am pretty certain he is going to trash me to his friends, but I don't care.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Well done.

[inquiringminds]

Thanks to all who helped me with this. Your help was greatly appreciated.

[milkshake]

dump hiim and forget about him. Don't answer his text and see how he will respond. I bet he will curse you out. he is being emotionally abusive as well as manipulative and dominant. he is trying to control you. My ex was like that and when I don't respond to him or say I don't know, he get upset. He always tries to force an response out from me and so after awhile it got old so I just didn't care anymore Didn't care of he got mad or angry with me because he was always like that and it was annoying. IT sounds like they are immature and ignorant and stupid...

I mean is this the kind of guy you would want to be with? That demands you instead of asking? I had this guy who said you better answer the phone.... that's demanding but that was the first he demanded me so it was ok, but continuous demands is not good you know... He would sometimes tell me to come here, but in a friendly and less demanding way... more like he wants me to come to him instead of demanding.. like bitch get over here... that's not good.... and the relationship won't turn out as great...

hmm i broke up with my ex over the instant messagenger.. haha he said that i didn't have the courage to tell him face to face, heck i don't even care cuz we would end up arguing like we did when I said we need to break up... he ended up not listening to me and think that i was going against him and blaming him... we're just not compatible and if we're not compatible it won't work out... -.- and i just told me don't communicate as much and he said he will change... but later he sent me a facebook message saying that I didn't have the courage to tell him directly and that I made it seem like it was his fault and that it was a test tube relationship... like I was testing to see if he was the right guy? iono wut that meant, but he probably thought that I was just playing games with him.. he's a douchebag and an idiot..

[inquiringminds]

I agree Milkshake. I also honestly feel like he was trying to use me to help him get out of his sister's house. That is why he was so antsy for us to move in together and get married. He has no car and so I got tired of going to see him. During the two months we were together I went and saw him about 7 times. We live about 30 minutes apart. He had no intention of coming to see me. He had every intention of trying to control me and react negatively about me working weekends and sometimes overtime. This guy doesn't love me and never did. Love was only said to play on my emotions. When you love someone, you do not make demands of that person and try to emotionally abuse them.

I already know there will be backlash from him, but I really don't care at this point. My best friend is taking me out to dinner tonight and I am not worried about him anymore. I will enjoy my life and pursue other interests. I actually feel a lot better now that it is truly over.