I can't think straight.....

[cutelilazn]

This is my first thread here, so I'll apologize if I'm writing in the wrong section or anything.

I don't know what to do. I have been rejected so many times but I didn't think I would face something I dread even more.
I have a guy friend who I love very much. He was quite obvious about liking me, so I thought he was just not admitting to his feelings, or I was over-thinking. I told him I would be okay with rejection and I just wanted to know his feelings. He was very stubborn and tried to change the subject but I kept bugging him. He ended up telling me the problem was he can't say no to my question of 'Do you like me?' I became very confused.

Then he started talking about our other female friend who is under a religion/church that does arranged marriage. I was too shocked so I don't remember the specifics but he is a part of that church as well. He whispered to me that he had feelings for me. He does not hold the same beliefs as his parents and wants to leave the church. He told me, "I don't know what will happen. If I wasn't a part of the church I could tell you in front of all those people that I like you-as in lovers. If I could do what I want I would say yes."

I ended up tearing up and was about to leave. He could have let me leave but instead he hugged me and told me I give up too easily, that I would never know what would happen. Maybe he will leave the church. But I feel as though this is something I should not get myself involved with. Usually I am very stubborn and selfish with him because I feel comfortable being myself and don't feel bad at all. (He knows that I am joking most of the time.) But I was so upset I could not say anything to him. He didn't let me leave until he finally made me laugh and do our usual silly fights.

Later that day he came by my house to hang out. I was hesitant but I ended up running out the building. We held hands and talked about what I want for my b-day and valentine's day--like we were a real couple or something. I was so frustrated. It felt wrong. He wants to hang out over the weekend as well but I don't want to. I think its okay to be friends, but I don't like the idea of potentially causing any problems with religion and belief. Honestly, I'm very ignorant about religion. I feel like I shouldn't get myself too attached anymore. But at the same time I enjoy being with him and find relief every time he holds my hands.

Any advice?

[MerryH]

But I feel as though this is something I should not get myself involved with.
I think its okay to be friends, but I don't like the idea of potentially causing any problems with religion and belief.
I feel like I shouldn't get myself too attached anymore.

I think you're right about the above and I applaud you for being realistic instead of having a "but I love him and I'll do anything to be with himmm!!!" attitude. It's refreshing.

Right now, he is unavailable to you, just like any guy who has a wife/girlfriend, or won't commit, or has addiction problems, or whatever else makes a person an unsuitable partner. If at some point he makes some major life changes and becomes available, then start from there. But don't wait. It might never happen.