Taking it to a new level of hurt

[Toddstar]

So, my ex, whom I feel am over, whom we share a child with together, whom told me a month ago she loved me and wanted me back....she and I and her bf and our child met at our usual drop off/pick up location today. She parked unusually far away from my truck than normal...and she got out and proceeded to look in the back seat of her car. Never looked at me. Not once. Then the bf, whom I have not met yet, got out with a big grin on his face. I thought, ok, hes going to introduce himself. I can deal with this. He comes over, a foot shorter and 50lbs heavier and shakes my hand and says hi. I say hi, and he hands me a package. I look over at my ex and our child, is still facing the other way. Turns out the package is a court date to get full custody of our child. My ex, who a MONTH ago tells me she loves me and wants to be with me, just dropped the biggest, crappiest bomb on me she could, and got her BF to do it.

What the hell is wrong with people??? I am so hurt by this.

[Andariel]

So sorry to hear that,mate. It sounds awful. If I were you, I would stop wondering what's wrong and why she acted this way. I would pick up my phone asap, call my lawyer and do everything in my power to ensure that I get shared custody. You will need to put your differences aside for the sake of your child and learn to work together to co-parent your son.

[Wakeup]

Absolutely agree with Andariel. Get yourself a lawyer and find out what your rights are. On what grounds does she state that she should be entitled to full custody?

Lets face the facts here, Todd. Your ex is not right in the head by all accounts and I have a feeling that her new bf is encouraging her to do this. She's too emotionally immature to tell him "don't be an ass, he's the father for gawd sakes." So, unless you've been doing crazy shit, there is no reason why she will win full custody.

I'm sorry you're hurting but, GET A LAWYER and put any thoughts of feeling sorry for yourself on hold.

[Toddstar]

I am going to see my lawyer tomorrow. And this will get VERY messy; she cant afford a lawyer, I can. She is being puppeted by the new bf. And normally I wouldnt care but my child is in that household and there is nothing I can do at this juncture. I wish it didnt have to be this way. Nobody wins and the kids get hurt.

And she didnt have the guts to give me the paperwork herself. what does that say about her? What does that say about my decisions?

[Horseyguy]

It actually says a lot. It says to me she's probably being goaded by the new BF into this for starters. If she was angry at you and doing this out of mallice or payback she would have given you the papers herself, fact she couldn't even face you says to me that she is doing this with some reluctance.

I'd get a lawyer for sure to address the papers you have but I would also try and divide and conquer. Try and seperate the two of them and talk to her one on one about this and the importance of your kid spending time with both of you. I think in a one on one without him in the background you will find some empathy there. She needs to work with you on this otherwise to make you suffer, the kid suffers and I don't think any good mother with any form of clear concious actually wants that

[Toddstar]

She is certainly being goaded by new bf, he is being garnished 52% of his wages for failed support to his three kids. It hurts unbelievably that someone who said they loved me would turn around and deliberately hurt me. Again.

Wow.

[lady18]

he he that is so funny

[MaidenMinx]

Damn man! That is just a big pike of crap. What a bitch!

No further advice, just *hugs*

[workingman78]

Hey, does this really surprise you? After the "letter for insurance" fiasco.... I hope you have kept documentation of everything; email correspondence, letters, and even a jounal when she calls. Show the judge just how crazy she is, and even threaten to take custody yourself. It can't be a good environment for your child to grow up in. How old is your child? I hope he/she is able to understand what is going on and why. And I hope you quit feeling sorry for this b!tch (like you seemed to in your last thread) she is threatening you and your kid now. It is time to go for the throat, and I say this with absolute conviction, don't pull any punches, if you are able, completely destroy her life, then go after the boyfriend too. This %$^ B!TCH is using your kid as a weapon against you, and it is obvious that she has no intention of ever smartening up.

[workingman78]

Any updates from the original poster? I am hoping this has turned out for the better in some way

[Bigboy77]

Todd please read this the thread i started.. there is an article there explaining a lot of this bullshit and why it is happening.