Age Difference - Is This An Issue?

[TJDVAN]

Hi all,

Just a quick question I would like to hear opinions on. I met a girl when TAing at University and liked her straight away (we talked a little outside of class about the things we enjoyed in our lives) but did not pursue anything because I didn't want to abuse my position and I also thought she was too young.

I have bumped into her on and off over the past two and a half years since then and still feel there is potentially something there. We have a lot in common and, judging by the way we seemed to get on when again bumping into each other last week, there is definitely a flicker of chemistry considering we are two people that barely know each other.

So, I am mulling the idea of asking her out to see if there is anything there or if this might be a little crush without any foundation. But I must admit I am still struggling with the age difference. She is now older and I'm sure much more grown up than when I first knew her, but would now be 21 and I am nearly 28.

What do you think? Too much, or worth asking her out?

[Kyrina]

If you dont ask her out you wont know if the age is a problem, she could be very mature for her age.
The question from me is,"Does her age concern you or is it more of a case of how society will perceive it"?
My friend is 35 his wife is 51 this year they have been married since he was 20 and very happily so, some will think eww others think nothing of it.
they have had their problems with running their own band for sign ups because of her age but he turns them away and remains faithful to her
Age IMO is not a factor as long as its with mature people who know their own minds.

[TJDVAN]

Thanks for your reply - I think exactly the same thing but it's always nice to hear other people's views. I have dated older and younger people before and really don't think there is much correlation between age and maturity, or between age and chemistry.

And yes, maybe the age will be an issue but unless I make the effort to see, I will never know.

[Yet another guy]

Most girls don't mind dating older guys. Since the age gap isn't huge, I bet she would be more against to dating a guy who is a year or two younger (than her).
If you like her, go for it Just keep in mind that she might not be as mature as the girls of your own age.

[Ric]

Considering she's 21, I'd say go for it. She's an adult, so the decision is all up to her.

[TJDVAN]

Thanks everyone - I'll go for it, and see what she says...

[TJDVAN]

PS: Yet Another Guy - She might very well not be as mature as the girls of my age, but to be honest, having got out of a pretty intense relationship a few months back, I actually just want to have some fun with someone to begin with and just get the sense that this might be easier with a younger girl!

[Kyrina]

PS: Yet Another Guy - She might very well not be as mature as the girls of my age, but to be honest, having got out of a pretty intense relationship a few months back, I actually just want to have some fun with someone to begin with and just get the sense that this might be easier with a younger girl!

You need to take care with this statement she may be younger and want some fun but she may also allow emotions to become involved

[TJDVAN]

Sorry - that was incredibly badly worded. I don't mean fun in a 'no commitment way', I just mean fun with someone who wants to go out and do a few exciting things. I have the sense that we would have more fun in this sense than I would with someone a little older.

I would go into this with the same philosophy as with any other date - totally open to anything happening. If anything developed, great, but I never expect it to. Certainly didn't mean to give the impression that I just wanted to fool around.