Do I really like here?? or is it...

[allalone]

Hi

Since I messed up my first year of college, I have always had the mentality that too much socialising is a waste of time and since then have put my head down and not talked to many people (let alone many girls). At 25, I now have two jobs and am involved in running 2 of my own businesses. A few months ago I started talking to a girl in one of my jobs and we have really got to know each other. I dont feel anything sexual when I am with here (nor do I have any plans to take it there) but I can't stop thinking about her and look forward to the next time when I will see her. It has come to the point where I cannot concentrate whilst working at my other jobs.

A few months ago we both mentioned that we had no interest in each other (at the time I did not have feelings for her) and I want to respect here decision even though lately I have caught here looking at me from a distance and I always seem to find that she is close by (or it may just be that I notice her when she is close by lol). I don't feel anything sexual when I am with here but I just enjoy talking to her.

My question is do you think that I like her or is it just that I have not spoken to a girl in a flirtatious way for so long that I look forward to seeing her just so that I can flirt with 'a girl'.

I suppose this is what happens when you suppress your emotions for so long lol.


After posting this I just realised that there is a spelling error in the title. Sorry about this lol

[Ric]

Well, hard for us to tell. It's very possible you like her, but the scenario of you being a bit lonely and just liking female attention is possible as well.

I am thinking the only way to find out is to pursue this. You could tell her that you've changed your mind and started to like her. If she feels the same, continue, if she doesn't, forget about it.

And don't feel bad if you happen to not like her the way you think. Dating/relationships often come down to people not really knowing how they feel.

[allalone]

Thank for the advice Ric. It would be hard for me tell her this since we have talked so much about what we would like in the opposite sex and I don’t fit her requirements. I get the feeling that I have become a very good friend and wouldn’t want to ruin that and make things weird between us but at the same time I know that she smiles when she sees me (but doesn't smile when she greets other people), she also laughs at my jokes, even the ones that are not funny. I know this because I deliberately mentioned a joke which I knew was not funny and after seeing me laugh she laughed as well. I think I just need to go out and socialise more. If I still have the same feelings for her in a few months then I will have to ‘man up’ and tell her how I feel lol.

[devonbrown]

If she said she doesn't like you that way, and you said you don't feel anything sexual towards her, then realize that it is just a close friendship and move on. Maybe ask her if she has any friends she can set you up with. Or talk to her about someone else you could see yourself liking. This will also force her to deal with any feelings she may have developed for you.

On a side note, try to open up a little more. At 25 you are not the same immature kid you were when you started college, so allow yourself to meet more people, be a little more social, etc. You may discover a whole world of people out there that are potential romantic interests and this girl may fade into memory.

Good luck.

[bulrush]

Well first, when I was younger (high school and college) I always liked to hang out with girls as friends. I just liked to relax with them, and talk. Yes I was attracted to some of them, but the attraction wasn't the only reason I hung out with them. Sometimes they said the funniest things that was unexpected! So, why not get to know her as a friend? What's wrong with that?

Then more physical attraction might develop later. Who knows, unless you try, right?

[allalone]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I still cant stop thinking about her but at least now I have a direction and a plan (somewhat). Im hoping in a few weeks my feelings for her start to calm down and I can enjoy her company without thinking about her every second of every day.