Ex contacting me

[sammi_xxx]

Right I know it's not long since we broke up, we broke up Saturday but even though he said we should be friends for now.. hes texting me. Just asking what I'm up to. I've just said I'm busy at the moment I'll text you back later. I haven't made any effort to contact him since the best way to win your ex back is through no contact but what does this mean? Does he miss me?

[Enigmos]

I wonder this question too...

[sammi_xxx]

Should i leave him waiting for a reply?

[Wakeup]

No, you should tell him that you either want him as boyfriend (cause you don't need to be demoted from girlfriend) and that he should only contact you if he's wanting the same thing.

Don't play games with anyone who has broken up with you. When it comes to your emotions, you look after your own best interests and YOU tell them how it's going to be if they want any part of YOU.

JMO: If you want him back then be straight forward and THEN GO NO CONTACT unless his words to you are "I made a mistake, lets get together and discuss it." Don't wait around hoping for a thing from him, try to heal and get on with your life. Don't allow yourself to accept crumbs from him when you want the whole cake... doing that will just stagnate you in your romantic persuits to be with someone who actually wants to be your boyfriend (he doesn't or he wouldn't have broken up with you).

So: If you agree with my advice, contact him back and tell it to him straight. If his answer is that he doesn't want what you want then you can quit hoping and get on with your life without him causing you all this angst and indecision and questions about how you should handle his contact. Done.

[sammi_xxx]

thankyou for your reply, but he actually said to me on monday he would think about us trying again if our friendship/relationship improves. The reason we broke up was because we fought all of the time

[Wakeup]

So if you fight all the time then that means you are incompatible or, you both lack in the art of communication. What has he done and what have you done to improve your ability to communicate, compromise, concede ocassionally and stop trying to control outcomes? If neither of you have done anything to improve then getting back together on a hope and a prayer will only end you both back to where you are right now.

Look into courses on effective communication and suggest he do the same. It takes more than just loving someone to make a relationship a happy one so There is no sense for either of you to be going back to the same person if nothing has changed. Do you see?

[sammi_xxx]

yes I understand, it was our lack of communication and I was always telling him this, if we want the relationship to work we need to be able to communicate with each other but he got to a point where he weren't making the effort anymore. I was the clingy, needy type but we hadn't seen each other properly 3 weeks before the break up. I'm concerntrating on building my self esteem and confidence up. I'm going out with friends, starting a nail technician course soon and I am not contacting him unless he does which is the whole point of this post. But like I said we are friends and I'll guess i'll just wait to see what the future holds. Millions of couples work things out if they have the time and space too and I'm sure people have got back together over worse things than this

[Kyrina]

If you cant communicate now you wont be able to after a little break, one is more mature then the other and yea its cool to stay friends but who is in limbo land now waiting for him to come/call because he has his space.
The longer your apart the easier it is to move forward.
In your position i wouldnt like to be, to be someone's lapdog and return to his beckoning call wont get you anywhere in life.Playing this game is utter nonsense.If your meant to be and communication is your only problems you should be able to work this out together or after a week or 2 at most.
This is all the time and space you need because if that person is the right one for you he should be going nuts at missing you already.
You sound rather young 18 (at most) and you have a lot of life in front of you, maybe he isnt the right one ?

[Mykee]

Good attitude Sammi.

What will be, will be. If you were meant to be, you'll be back together and better than ever.

This is what will happen with me. I know it. I can picture it in my head, clear as day

PMA (Positive Mental Attitude)!

[sammi_xxx]

I'm 19 haha we have been together for 2 years, yeah maybe he isn't thankyou for all your replies though!

[Wakeup]

Good attitude Sammi.

What will be, will be. If you were meant to be, you'll be back together and better than ever.

This is what will happen with me. I know it. I can picture it in my head, clear as day

PMA (Positive Mental Attitude)!

Careful what you wish for. You broke up for a reason and if that reason isn't fixed then you go through heart break all over again. A positive attitude would be better served in thinking that there is someone out there, and I will be with them, that is better suited for me. If it's broke and you don't fix what made it broke, then you're just stalling with one another until it rears it's head again and there you are, right back where you just came from.

[sammi_xxx]

I'm just texting him now, I asked what he wants and how he feels. I know what i want but if he wants different then I need to know so I can move on with my life

[Wakeup]

yes I understand, it was our lack of communication and I was always telling him this, if we want the relationship to work we need to be able to communicate with each other but he got to a point where he weren't making the effort anymore. I was the clingy, needy type but we hadn't seen each other properly 3 weeks before the break up. I'm concerntrating on building my self esteem and confidence up. I'm going out with friends, starting a nail technician course soon and I am not contacting him unless he does which is the whole point of this post. But like I said we are friends and I'll guess i'll just wait to see what the future holds. Millions of couples work things out if they have the time and space too and I'm sure people have got back together over worse things than this

As I said, sure they work it out but they fix what was broken. How has he tried to improve his communication skills? Saying "I've learned that I have to communicate better" is only words if he's not learned how to actually communicate.

Anyway, you're bettering yourself, you're working to be the best you that you can be and I think that once you're confidence and self worth is bolstered due to your own self-improvement, you'll not find him suitable for you anyway because you've grown and he hasn't (unless he's working on himself as well, of course).

Good luck. Don't take crumbs from him. Even remaining friends will more likely than not, cause you problems if you start a relationship with someone new. They usually don't appreciate their new SO hanging out with a past lover.

I'm just texting him now, I asked what he wants and how he feels. I know what i want but if he wants different then I need to know so I can move on with my life

Atta girl. Take back your power.

Keep us updated.

[Mykee]

Careful what you wish for. You broke up for a reason and if that reason isn't fixed then you go through heart break all over again. A positive attitude would be better served in thinking that there is someone out there, and I will be with them, that is better suited for me. If it's broke and you don't fix what made it broke, then you're just stalling with one another until it rears it's head again and there you are, right back where you just came from.

I know the reason we broke up and I know how to fix it. I've got to give her time to realise what we had and what we can have in the future. Me, her and our two girls living together again. As a family. As it should be.

[sammi_xxx]

As I said, sure they work it out but they fix what was broken. How has he tried to improve his communication skills? Saying "I've learned that I have to communicate better" is only words if he's not learned how to actually communicate.

Anyway, you're bettering yourself, you're working to be the best you that you can be and I think that once you're confidence and self worth is bolstered due to your own self-improvement, you'll not find him suitable for you anyway because you've grown and he hasn't (unless he's working on himself as well, of course).

Good luck. Don't take crumbs from him. Even remaining friends will more likely than not, cause you problems if you start a relationship with someone new. They usually don't appreciate their new SO hanging out with a past lover.

Atta girl. Take back your power.

Keep us updated.

well he said, he wants to give us another chance. But hes saying he thinks someone has took interest in me.. because I said i was busy