Teen Porn?

[smackie9]

He might be a bit insecure but I think it's more of a maturity thing. Porn to some guys is very private and to have a GF come out and start jabbering about it can make them get there back up against the wall and start saying silly stuff getting all defensive. Guys, even tho they say they want you to come out and tell them straight, when it comes to personal stuff, they don't like the confrontation. He felt embarrassed that you knew he was looking at porn. He thought stupidly that you didn't know. Being put on the spot, he was unsure whether to trust you, he thought it might have been a trick or something, so he started to give you a bull s hit story. Plus it would be hard for him to believe what you were saying because the last t time you expressed how you didn't approve of him doing it, all of a sudden out of the blue it's ok. But in the same breath you were telling him he better not be involved with the chat, etc.....he got defensive because he felt you were accusing him of doing it.So you can see his standpoint.

Anyways getting over the insecurities, and actually understanding that looking or admiring but not acting upon, is human nature to do so, comes with time, and with time comes maturity. I think you are best to explain yourself better to him why all of a sudden you have taken an interest in talking about it. You have to get him to feel more comfortable, and let him know you are not going to punish him for being honest, but would rather discuss it more so there isn't a need to not tell or be defensive.

[bulrush]

As a child psychologist, tjb33 is understandably sensitive to this issue.

Tjb33, if you see other indications that this person is not good for a boyfriend, then consider those issues. (Lack of openness to counseling is a red flag for me too.) However, do not make all your decisions based on this one thing (teen porn). It's an instinctive thing for men to like younger women, but the vast majority of men do not act on that instinct in real life. Keep that in mind. You happen to see the results of the worst offenders. So your view is skewed, and understandably so.

What men like in porn often has no bearing on what they would do in real life, it's a fantasy, like a good book.

[tjb33]

Thank you for your responses, I feel a lot better than I did yesterday. It's hard to get the whole story across in this forum. I didn't go straight from condemning teen porn to accepting it... I was just trying to summarize. Thank you smackie9, I feel like you completely understand the situation cause he said a lot of the same things that you did. I actually thought for a second that it was him! But I don't think he has enough time to be in these forums cause he's too busy looking at teen porn
Haha, just kidding
I know my view is skewed especially cause I had an ex that was doing stuff online with teens and then he ended up cheating on me and starting a relationship with a 16 year old. We were 22 at the time. But I did tell my bf about that and admitted that it plays into my feelings about the situation, even though I know that's unfair.
I think it's def a maturity thing and lack of experience in serious relationships cause I think he only had one other gf and she was a bitch... over 18 though haha

[Junket]

I know my view is skewed especially cause I had an ex that was doing stuff online with teens and then he ended up cheating on me and starting a relationship with a 16 year old. We were 22 at the time. But I did tell my bf about that and admitted that it plays into my feelings about the situation, even though I know that's unfair.

That is unfair, and now that you've said it, don't bring it up again. The best relationships aren't completely open.

Don't treat him like a patient.