Moving on... literally

[gonzilla]

I posted my tale of heartbreak here a while ago, and I've had time to think about a lot of things since. I want to share some of those thoughts so that I can get your views and so that maybe others out there, with the same feelings, can have something to identify with.

She left me primarily because her mother decided I wasn't good enough for her. I reasoned, with the help of others, that this wasn't enough and that she couldn't have really loved me; that she had other issues. I know she's now with the guy her mother had originally chosen for her (before she fell for me and ruined it all).

None of that is important now. She's long gone and that chapter of my life is over. All that remains is to finally get my head to convince my heart of that. Most of the time I'm fine, but then something reminds me and my heart breaks all over again. I think, for me, its that I need to change routines and situations where I'm not in the places where I spent so much time with her. I'm still doing the same high-pressured job, although the company want me to move to their head place soon. I can't help but feel a sense of liberation not to be sleeping in that bed, not to be sitting on that couch, not to be eating at that table. Sometimes I can still smell her. Sometimes she still smiles at me from across the room. She can't if I'm not there.

Its obviously not the main reason for moving, but it definitely factors in my decision-making.

[Horseyguy]

Yup I hear ya. Sometimes it takes extremes although I think my extremes were more distractions and by the time I stopped doing what I was doing I realised I was over her. I started by doing all the normal deleting photos and remove things in the house that reminded me of her and started to go to the gym etc.

But it wasn't enough, the house reminded me of her, I couldn't sleep properly because I remembered her being there beside me, and when I went for a walk I was sad because I remembered the walks we went on with her dog Millie, even the car reminded me of her.

So I moved. Got a new house, bought a new car, started on my Masters and now I hardly ever think about her. Occasional my head reminds my heart but then I realize getting back with her would just be more pain and more heartache. I actually love my new life without her!!!! I love my house and my new car, I've made lots of new friends and started dating someone else.

Maybe changing every thing to that extreme was over the top but the end result is I'm really happy and it feels good so at the end of the day it was well worth it.

[gonzilla]

Thanks for the post Horseyguy. I'm glad to hear making big changes worked for you, even if it wasn't necessarily a direct result of the changes.

I think I miss being that much in love. When you no longer have that feeling you start to look at where you had it last. I'm not convinced the reason for wanting drastic changes is so much about her, but rather that everything I have reminds me of being in that place and feeling that way. I look at things, from the car to a certain chair, even a mug she used to drink from, and remember being really happy. I guess the problem is that, while you're looking back, you're not looking forward. Its best not to have those things around that jog the memory. If those things happen to include the very house you live in then maybe, if enough time has passed (in my case well over a year), its reasonable to move if its feasible.

Its weird to write these things on here. Not a single person in my life knows I feel this way.