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Thread: Bad phases after breakups.

  1. #1
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    Bad phases after breakups.

    I have been apart from my ex for a good few months. I still miss him everyday, i still dont know what to do with myself and still fighting with myself everyday not to contact him. I just want to hear his voice, feel his touch..
    I feel so lonely.. I got in an argument with my sister and she just made me feel so crappy.. Made a comment on how its not her fault my life is shitty and hers is so great because she has a great guy..etc. Ugh.

    I go through these phases every now and then. They suck. lol

    I even hate any males attention right now. I feel like i have lost all my charisma and charm i once had before when i was single. I get stuck for words when i am talking to anyone, i just feel weird and not myself. I guess that relationship really did suck everything outta me.

    I just feel crappy about it.. Like after everything i put into that relationship.. He got away free of any guilt, isnt upset.. It makes me mad because he doesnt even deserve that. I wish karma would come into play sometime soon.

    Im not even sure what im looking for by writing this. I just know people on here always cheer me up
    I am just hoping it doesnt take me years to get over him.. That really scares me.
    You have all the weapons you need... Now fight!

  2. #2
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    It won't, it's just a phase you'll go through.

    We all think you're awesome. Just keep going.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mathias View Post
    It won't, it's just a phase you'll go through.

    We all think you're awesome. Just keep going.
    Ahh i really hope so. I guess the pain has been fading slightly..I just hope that day comes where i just forget about forgetting him.
    And thankyou.
    You have all the weapons you need... Now fight!

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    Quote Originally Posted by JadenMia View Post
    Im not even sure what im looking for by writing this. I just know people on here always cheer me up
    [url=http://www.babydinosaureyes.com/]CAT BOUNCE![/url]

    Eh?

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    Quote Originally Posted by MerryH View Post
    [url=http://www.babydinosaureyes.com/]CAT BOUNCE![/url]

    Eh?
    Haha. Thats cute
    About animals! I got to hold a litter of puppies yesterday with their eyes hardly open. Ahhh SO damn cute, that sure did make me feel better. Hehe.
    You have all the weapons you need... Now fight!

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    I was with my first girlfriend for almost 5 years, and found out she cheated on me. At one point, I was in the vengeful phase (seems like you're there) wishing karma would take the shape of a bus and run her over.

    This phase will stick with you until you stop fighting against it. You have to accept that you were wronged by someone, that there isn't some magical force that strikes people down for what you perceive as being wronged, and that you can't change what happened. He DOESN'T feel all good and chipper, guaranteed. When guys put on the facade of "no big deal" during breakups, it doesn't mean they're actually OK.

    What other people do has no reflection on you as a person. Took me a couple months of counseling to realize her cheating doesn't mean I'm inadequate or incomplete as a person. Whatever happened between you two - let it go.

    And most importantly - ACCEPT what is happening. ACCEPT that although you are a good person, you are in pain, and it might take years to go away. You will feel the impact of this person on your life forever, although it will fade in time. When you accept the feeling and choose to move on while carrying it, it starts to go away.

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    I'm in the same boat. My long-term ex broke up with me and I can't go an hour without thinking about her. This forum just helped me break up with my newest girlfriend because I can't stop thinking about my ex. This process sucks, but I believe in the future it will make you stronger. Like the way if you get a bad wound; the skin that heals over your wound is thicker.

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    JadenMia,
    When you break up with someone who is bad for you, it opens up an opportunity for someone even better to come into your life. Look for those opportunities. Don't miss them.

    Best of luck. And have a quart of Ben & Jerry's ice cream on me.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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    Thanks everybody, i know i should be thinking this is the best thing to do, somehow i just dont feel that yet. I am definitely in a revengful state right now.. I just hate him, for everything he has done, for everything he hasnt done. I need to accept it is over..I still havnt done and its been a few months and its really getting me down lately. I have so much stress on right now, so i feel that may be part of the problem..
    Just in a bad rut thats all
    You have all the weapons you need... Now fight!

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