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Thread: Is it even worth the time to pursue her?

  1. #1
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    Is it even worth the time to pursue her?

    I think I know what you're all going to tell me, but you always give me great advice so I thought I see what you guys have to say.

    Last weekend my friend and I went over to this girls house that he I guess he is dealing with. She had a couple of girlfriends over, and it was the first time meeting the three of them for me. My friend and the girl went off to go do their own thing, and went on to do their own thing, leaving me with her two friends. A good couple drinks and conversations later, me and one of her friends go for a walk. In which we hook up. But get this she came on to me.

    So, next day I was at home, added her on Facebook. And a week later never have said anything yet. I was waiting for her to make the first move, since I thought she was interested since she made the first move.

    Anyways, long story short. This weekend the same people, me and my friend and them three. Went out for sushi. We got there before hand. And one of my friends were sitting in fronting me, he asked to switched with the girl I hooked up with but she was hesitant in doing so. I dont think the whole time we were there she said a word to me, not even hello. Better yet I dont think she made eye contact.

    After I found out from my friend that she "feels like a slut" for hooking up with me..

    So what do you think I should go with this chick? Should I take the time to talk to her or do you think it was just a drunken one night hook up?

    And sorry if it dosnt make sense, had to do it fast, got to be at work in 10 mins.

    Thanks for the help everyone!

  2. #2
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    Dude, if you like her, talk to her. There is no reason to wait for her to talk to you first.

    It might have been a random drunken hookup, but there is no reason it has to be that way unless you both want it to be that way. At least let her know that you like her and were trying to let her lead the conversation out of respect for her. That should help her not feel like a slut.
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  3. #3
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    I woudnt say I "like" her more so I would be interested in getting to know her more. If you know what I'm saying.

    The vide I got from that dinner was that it was more on the drunken hook up side and noting more. Her friends did tell after last weekend that she's docent do that type of stuff.

    How would I start the convo though is what I'm nervous about. I don't want to come of too hard or too soft.

  4. #4
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    You should've contacted her the day after you hooked up. She wouldn't have felt so much of a slut if you had. Why did you expect her to contact you, especially since she had made the first move the night before, I don't get it.

  5. #5
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    I know I should of contacted her the day after. I was thinking the same thing. I just get nervous in the types if situations and don't know what to say. My mistake.

    What should I do next?

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    Quote Originally Posted by chailli View Post
    What should I do next?

    Call her, jackass.

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    I dont have her number, can only contact her on Facebook.

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    I think the girl you hooked up with is too insecure to be in a relationship. She "feels like a slut" just for going on a walk with you? What is she, 12 years old?? Talk about issues. I think you can do better.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by bulrush View Post
    I think the girl you hooked up with is too insecure to be in a relationship. She "feels like a slut" just for going on a walk with you? What is she, 12 years old?? Talk about issues. I think you can do better.
    You should go back and read it again.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by chailli View Post
    I think I know what you're all going to tell me, but you always give me great advice so I thought I see what you guys have to say.

    Last weekend my friend and I went over to this girls house that he I guess he is dealing with. She had a couple of girlfriends over, and it was the first time meeting the three of them for me. My friend and the girl went off to go do their own thing, and went on to do their own thing, leaving me with her two friends. A good couple drinks and conversations later, me and one of her friends go for a walk. In which we hook up. But get this she came on to me.

    So, next day I was at home, added her on Facebook. And a week later never have said anything yet. I was waiting for her to make the first move, since I thought she was interested since she made the first move.

    Anyways, long story short. This weekend the same people, me and my friend and them three. Went out for sushi. We got there before hand. And one of my friends were sitting in fronting me, he asked to switched with the girl I hooked up with but she was hesitant in doing so. I dont think the whole time we were there she said a word to me, not even hello. Better yet I dont think she made eye contact.

    After I found out from my friend that she "feels like a slut" for hooking up with me..

    So what do you think I should go with this chick? Should I take the time to talk to her or do you think it was just a drunken one night hook up?

    And sorry if it dosnt make sense, had to do it fast, got to be at work in 10 mins.

    Thanks for the help everyone!
    You fk her and then in essence you chucked her. You didn't call her, you didn't email her, you didn't phone or text her or send a note via carrier pidgeon. Why would you do that after having sex with her? If you want to be with her or have a relationship with her then why wouldn't you have called her and set up a date or something?

    If you want to be with her then call her and apologize for being missing in action. However: If you don't want to be with her then just leave her alone and don't play with her. (or allow her to play with you for that matter). Learn from this and don't be so callous to woman that you are interested in. It wasn't like you'd never see this girl again.. you didn't pick up a stranger in a bar who was also a stranger to everyone you know.. Do you see?
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  11. #11
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    Yes, I do see what your saying.

    I could see her as a girlfriend, but I'd want to get to know her better. Which would means I'd have to strike up a convo with her. I just don't know how I would start it, that's the point I'm getting at.

    I will probally see her again since see is my friend girl who he's dealing with best freinds. So, I could wait for that since it's been over a week since we hooked up, and see where that goes...?

    But to answer the title of the thread, given everything I've told you guys. Do you really think I should pursue anything with this girl, or don't even bother?

  12. #12
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    Also one more thing I should add to the opening post...

    When we went out for sushi, and the end she gave my freind and my other friend both hugs but not me. Giving that they both went to her and I stayed more back, but it was like she was ingoring me the whole time or something.

    Also, I remember while we were hooking up she was saying "I don't even know you" and " I don't do this." Even when I went for a kiss in front of her friends she would kind of reject it, but when we were alone she was all for it. And she came on to me. Weird.
    Last edited by chailli; 20-09-11 at 05:20 AM.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by chailli View Post
    Also one more thing I should add to the opening post...

    When we went out for sushi, and the end she gave my freind and my other friend both hugs but not me. Giving that they both went to her and I stayed more back, but it was like she was ingoring me the whole time or something.

    Also, I remember while we were hooking up she was saying "I don't even know you" and " I don't do this." Even when I went for a kiss in front of her friends she would kind of reject it, but when we were alone she was all for it. And she came on to me. Weird.
    She was pissed at you. Just send her a message on Facebook, or chat there and apologize. If you explain that it was a misunderstanding, she will, perhaps, begin the process of forgiving you lol.

  14. #14
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    I don't understand how she could be pissed at me. I mean that's the second time I've seen her, and the first time went pretty good I think. Lol

  15. #15
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    Omg you just don't understand. CONTACT HER if you want to make things right, even if you only want to get to know her better. What are you waiting for?! Of course she's pissed at you - you had sex and then you basically vanished after that, how do you think it made her feel?! Jeez it's not that hard. You're interested in her - get in touch, set up a date, apologize for not calling/writing earlier. You are not that interested in her - leave her alone and go on with your life. It's simple really!!

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