So Confused... please help

[xKatie-Rosex]

Hello Everyone,

Ok, so I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. We have lived together for 2 of those years. For the past year our relationship has become very friendy and has not been very sexual. At first it was me not wanting to sleep together, but it seems like we have both given up on trying.

A few weeks ago I met a man. He is not physically my type and he's married with a child. But I have fallen for him, I haven't slept with him at all, but I have seen him a few times. I am so confused (as is the married man). I don't want to break up a marraige, I dont want to upset my boyfriend, but I dont want to not see this man.

He feels bad about seeing me behind his wifes back, but we are not sleeping together or even kissing. He says that he needs to get to know me properly before making any serious decisions.

I have told my boyfriend that I am not happy in our relationship and that maybe we need a break for me to work things out in my head, but my boyfriend wants to make an effort on fixing our relationship.

What should I do? I can't stop thinking about this married man, I want to see him but I dont want to cause trouble. I have told him I need some time to think, and he is being very supportive.

I would be soooo grateful for some advice,

KR xx

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You're a bitch. Break up with your boyfriend, and don't string him along with a break. Once you've broken up with him, then decide what you want to do with this married man.

[xKatie-Rosex]

You're a bitch. Break up with your boyfriend, and don't string him along with a break. Once you've broken up with him, then decide what you want to do with this married man.

Theres no need to call me a bitch. I haven't cheated on my boyfriend, I am just majorly confused and asking for some help...

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I know there's not a need to call you a bitch, I just wanted to.

The reason I called you a bitch, is because you're stringing your boyfriend along while you're "figuring things out"(aka deciding whether or not to **** this other guy). It's classic, and girls(bitches) are notorious for this maneuver. If you really want to figure things out, then do your b/f a favor, be considerate of his feelings, and break up with him since you clearly don't want this relationship anymore. Don't bullshit him, and tell him you're figuring things out, when really you're just trying to make sure you're secure in this new thing before your drop him like a hot rock.

[Evo1114]

I agree. You need to break up with your boyfriend if you desire to be somebody's else's mistress. Remember, the other guy is married, so don't expect a whole lot. And you said you don't want to cause trouble? LOL. B.S. if you didn't want to cause trouble you wouldn't even be thinking of seeing this married guy.

To me, I just find this whole thing quite pathetic.

[bulrush]

Katie-Rose, anytime you let only emotions make a decision like this, it always turns out badly. But will you ever learn from these bad decisions? You need something your bf is not giving you, yet you refuse to work it out with him, instead you try to "coast" into a new relationship lubricated by new relationship excitement. It's been 3 years yet you won't even try to talk to your bf? Seriously? If you continue to make bad decisions like this, based on emotions, things will never turn out good for you, but you will blame others for all your troubles. When you blame others for your problems, your problems never get fixed.

Stop seeing this married man. Make a real effort to work things out with your bf first. Get back to us on what you decided.

How old are you anyway?

[Wakeup]

Theres no need to call me a bitch. I haven't cheated on my boyfriend, I am just majorly confused and asking for some help...

If you don't want to be considered a bitch then you shouldn't remotely be acting like one. It's woman like you that make men like backuporgetstung be led to believe that all woman are incapable of being decent and with integrity. Notice how he erroneously believes that "women/bitches" "women" as in all of us. are notorious for this maneuver?

You met this married man "a few weeks ago" and already you think "you've fallen for him." Please get yourself some help with your poor self worth, your inability to live without a man so you stay with one out of convenience in a sexless union and set your sights on a man that will never be yours. You need some therapy doll. Get it now before you find yourself joyless and being used by a man that will never be there for you on his birthday, Christmas or any other major holiday. NEWSFLASH: You cannot possible be in love with a man in a couple of weeks.. it's a crush or its lust or it's infatuation but I can guarantee you that it is not LOVE.

What should I do? I can't stop thinking about this married man, I want to see him but I dont want to cause trouble. I have told him I need some time to think, and he is being very supportive.

Gag me with a fking spoon. THIS MAN IS MARRIED he is willing to cheat on his unsuspecting wife, do you honestly think he will leave her for you.. he'll screw you and he'll keep his wife just like you'll screw him back while you keep your boyfriend. No man will have a relationship with a girl while not going to bed with her so if you want to know his true feelings you will NEVER go to bed with him as long as he is married and still living with the woman he made vows with. If he loves you and wants to be with you in the full sense of the word (not just for sex) he will leave her before he schtuups you. That means no hand or blow jobs either.. you young people think sex is restricted to just intercourse for geezus sakes) Same for you, you will leave your bf before, not after and certainly not during.

In the meantime as you form a thicker emotional affair with this man, ask yourself how you would feel if the man you loved was priming another girl to be his clandestine lover behind your back.

I suggest you go zero contact to get over him, leave your current boyfriend who you take for granted and indifference to and work on yourself so you don't ruin your emotional health on a man who is still married and shows no indication that he's leaving her anytime soon. You would do well to learn to live on your own, to be happy in your own company so that you don't need a man to make you feel whole, you'll be happy alone and a man will just be a happy addition, not the source.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Notice how he erroneously believes that "women/bitches" "women" as in all of us. are notorious for this maneuver?

Hang on a sec. I was just clarifying to the OP which girls do this ie: bitches. In my experience women do this significantly more than men do, though men are also guilty. I wasn't calling all women bitches, nor do I believe that women aren't capable of behaving with decency and integrity...it's just a lot more practical to categorize them all that way, and let the good ones surprise you.

[Wakeup]

Hang on a sec. I was just clarifying to the OP which girls do this ie: bitches. In my experience women do this significantly more than men do, though men are also guilty. I wasn't calling all women bitches, nor do I believe that women aren't capable of behaving with decency and integrity...it's just a lot more practical to categorize them all that way, and let the good ones surprise you.

Cheers and Thank you for clarifying. Men do it equally as much as women Notice that there is a male priming to cheat on his wife here. She's not the only "bitch." I do get your point though.