sleeping with ex

[Wakeup]

They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

[elijah121]

thats kind of cold wake up. So i have one question. My bestfriends bday party is next weekend and my ex is going to be there also. we havent spoken since i dropped her and i am contemplating whether i should even go. My best friend is killing me she started crying when i told her i dont want to come because of the drama situation? what should i do should i just go and ignore the shit out of my ex because i really dont want to talk to her or see her, ever. what do you guys think would you go?

[Wakeup]

Hey, I didn't make up the saying! I know that being a mother who cares, there's better ways to talk to one's young daughter then the way her mother talked to her.

If you go to the party there doesn't have to be any drama unless you orchastrate it. Keep your cool, make an appearance for your friend and then exit stage left. Done!

[elijah121]

kk thanks and if she tries to talk to me i am assuming be humble and polite, keep it short, and then get out of there.

[Wakeup]

... Ci Senor! ...

[elijah121]

so the end of the night we ended up talking again, which lead us to talk everyday, eventually sleeping together while she was seeing someone else and sleeping with him too. yes the same guy as before. he went on vacation and we slept together while he was gone also and he just came back yesterday. She called me everyday for the past month i never called her, she always asks to hang out and i give in. She said that other girls get her jelous and she doesnt know why, she said she loves me but she is with this guy who has a girlfriend. So she slept with him yesterday, and then she calls me today and acts like nothing happened. I dont understadnw why i keep doing this to myself. What the hell is wrong with me. She wants to be my friend forever because i was her first love but she acts like she is my girlfriend, questioning me asking me what im doing calling me 3=4 times a day except when she is with the other guy. WTF is goin on. Im so angry. I haven't done anything with another girl for so long, and i just give in to this frikin woman all the time. i need help. Even though i know i don't want her back as in a relationship or future progession i still just get angry, and feel sad and hurt, and betrayed even though she isn't mine. I know that most people here are goingt o be like stop talking to her its not worth it, but we've tried that and always find a way back because either one of us gives in. Im sooo mad so angry right now like holy ****.

[Wakeup]

so the end of the night we ended up talking again, which lead us to talk everyday, eventually sleeping together while she was seeing someone else and sleeping with him too. yes the same guy as before. he went on vacation and we slept together while he was gone also and he just came back yesterday. She called me everyday for the past month i never called her, she always asks to hang out and i give in. She said that other girls get her jelous and she doesnt know why, she said she loves me but she is with this guy who has a girlfriend. So she slept with him yesterday, and then she calls me today and acts like nothing happened. I dont understadnw why i keep doing this to myself. What the hell is wrong with me. She wants to be my friend forever because i was her first love but she acts like she is my girlfriend, questioning me asking me what im doing calling me 3=4 times a day except when she is with the other guy. WTF is goin on. Im so angry. I haven't done anything with another girl for so long, and i just give in to this frikin woman all the time. i need help.

You allow her to treat you the very way you hate and despise yourself for falling for. YOUR bad.

Please get the self-respect to distance yourself from this user, abuser, sport fker and get on with your life. Either that, or learn to be a sport fkr yourself and become more sociopathic so that you don't suffer because of your own actions/guilt/remorse/self-abuse. You have personal boundaries in place that you cross everytime you see her in this dynamic you've orchestrated for yourself. Deal or fold. I suggest fold. You don't sound the least bit sociopathic or self-absorbed enough to cope.

i am tired of wasting my time and always letting her come back in my life even if we dont talk for months.

Do tell. coughbullshitcough.

[elijah121]

so why is it that after all of this, i still want her to be a part of my life? maybe its jsut that i'm not ready yet or were not ready yet to have a non emotional non intimate friendship, or what is it that she just wants to have me as a comfort knowing that i will always be there or always have feelings for her, or is she just so used to talking to me and being with me for the past 3 years of all this drama between us. I don't get it, i have always been the one to tell her we should stop talking, me not her, wtf wake up i need to wake the **** up to and understand what is going on. i mean are you capable of loving someone after all this shit we been through, cause i still love her or maybe i think i do? I mean i have found better but i couldnt or didnt pursue because i wasn't able to let go of the past because it always follows me or i allow it to.

[workingman78]

Dude, pull your head out of your ass, make a decision and stick to it.

[elijah121]

hard to when you don't know where to start

[Kaius]

Hey man, calm down. Your posts are so emotional....reminds me of when I was in college or something... so fired up over girls.
First thing you should do is not answer her calls, or change your number so she doesn't know it. Radio silence will give you peace, even though you
are mad as hell. The sex between you two is not "love-making", but rather, an act to satisfy a void. It's difficult to get her out of your mind,
especially since you know she is having sex with someone else. You have to concentrate on something more productive. If you have good friends,
I mean really good friends, you should confide in them and ask them to help you get through this. You need positiveness in your life right now.

[Wakeup]

hard to when you don't know where to start

You start by going ZERO contact so that you can go cold turkey from her. You're addicted to the bullshit as sure as shit. Don't contact her or contact her one more time to tell her that you're going on the down low and you'll not be contacting her anymore. Then you block and delete her so that you're not tempted to have another hit of your drug of choice known as toxic sport fker bed buddy. Then when you've cleansed yourself of her, by keeping busy, doing things you've always wanted to do (but have been too stagnated over the likes of her and the hold she has over you and haven't yet done them,} by consciously making the effort to change the channel in your brain tuned to her and her poonannie, by joining groups and amature sports teams and places where you're sure to meet SANE singles ~ you'll have gone cold turkey from the bad drug that is her and you'll live happily ever after.

Make the GD effort and perhaps you won't need to come here and lament your poor choices in life like you are on this one.

It is IMPOSSIBLE for you (and most people) to continue on in a sport fking scenerio with someone if you aren't in the power seat. She, my friend has all the power here. Know it, accept it and fix it by doing what you know you have to do.

[workingman78]

Start with addressing how she makes you feel. She is using you, and cares nothing for how you feel about it. She does not care for you beyond what you can do for her. Think about how angry she makes you feel, fo you enjoy feeling that way? If not then I suggest you remember that every time you start to feel like you want contact again. The good news is once you really get your head wrapped around your feelings the rest gets easier. I honestly think you are half way there now, just cement it in with the knowledge that you ar a better person without her around you.

[elijah121]

k well i guess i will wait till she calls because i don't call her, im sure it will be tonight. I will explain to her that it is better for both of us if we just cut contact and break this so called friendship or "sprt fck" but yea, thanks guys i will let you know how it goes from here.

[elijah121]

Ok so i spoke to her on Friday Night. She started off by telling me she ended it with the other guy which is a good thing since he has a girlfriend. I then told her that I started seeing someone that i was previously seeing in February and that we came in contact again hence we really did like eachother but i couldn't be with her because i was still caught up on the ex. I told her that the new girl which she knows a little about isn't comfortable with me speaking to my ex and that since we aren't heading any where towards a future together and we keep on holding on to eachother that it's time to let go and move on. She started crying and said ok she won't contact me anymore. She asked me if i slept with her and i did say yes. So i guess it's done and i feel like crap. She hung up on me and it didn't end in a nice way so i guess she hates me too, but it's ok, ill get over it again very soon. Just miss talking to her. but thanks guys. ill try to be strong.