boyfriend repeatedly lied about past with ex

[zoomx3]

my boyfriend keeps lying about stuff about his ex of 7 years... i honestly didn't care too much about the ex to begin with but his constant lies about her make me care about their past together a lot....
and it's weird because he lies about random things, like where she went to college, how they met, if he met up with her when he went back to their hometown last year (he rarely goes back... so it's expected that he should visit her... i just don't get why he had to lie about it...)
i asked him about these things point blank and he just lied to my face. i found out the truth later on when his story didn't match up or when he just came out with the truth...

he claims that he lied to me about these things either because he didn't think they were a big deal and just misspoke sometimes and didn't feel the need to explain himself (honestly... if it's not a big deal, why not tell the truth... and you can't possibly misspeak several times about the same thing....) or because he didn't want to make me uncomfortable (this is about the one when he lied about meeting up with her... i remember thinking it was weird that they DIDNT meet up... and telling him that i think he should have gone to see her because she's an old friend and he's never usually in the area...)

anyways... this issue has really come between us. the meeting up with her was the biggest and he felt really sorry about it, apologized a gazillion times... and said that from now on, he'll tell me the truth about everything concerning his ex...

i just don't know what i'm supposed to do about this... any ideas??

[James Banes]

A boyfriend who starts lying early in the relationship will be a husband who has no qualms about lying. By sticking with him you're saying you can accept his lies. Either find a new man or stick with this liar.

[bulrush]

Sometimes guys lie because they don't want to deal with their girlfriends over reacting. And sometimes they just lie because it's a habit. Not good in either case.

[WalkOverMe]

First off, those are lies that your boyfriend tells you. Not accidental misspeaks or unimportant things that he mixed up by accident, no things like that are proper lies.

I'm in a very similar situation.
I always trusted my girlfriend 100%. But over the summer I started realizing that several things didn't add up. I confronted her and instead of coming clean, she just comes up with even more lies. Such as me seeing naked photos of a guy on her phone. She telling me he's a gay friend, who is in a relationship with another gay and they just adopted a baby! Now I found out he's not gay, it's not his kid and she in fact cheated on me with that guy.
I also found out that several times when I was just asking her about who she's talking to on facebook, she told me it's just another gay friend, while in fact it was a guy she had a one night stand with.

All I can tell you is that from my experience when someone in a relationship lies, is because they don't feel comfortable telling the truth. And why do they not feel comfortable? Because there is a very big chance that they know what they did was wrong and that's why they hide it.

Lying destroys a relationship in long term as I found out the hard way. Although I want to trust my girlfriend so badly, I started to question everything she tells me, and yet I still find out she tells lies.

A relationship needs more than just love. Trust is just as important as love. If one of them goes out the window, the relationship is broken and needs repairing. If the person responsible for breaking that trust is not willing to work on it.... ouch!

[Atlas]

maybe he lied to avoid drama....because he thinks you over react too much.....but even though lies are not healthy.....all relationships are based on it......u just have to know the right amount to keep it balanced.....don't you ever lie?

[girl68]

Frankly I don't even think you should be discussing her in such depth.