In Love and Confused.

[wezmaster]

Hi, first you should know my name is wez, im almost 19 and haven't had a girlfriend before, and that im a nice guy and i look after myself. anyway there is this girl in a group of friends that i hang around with i haven't known her long, maybe a few months and i am seriously in love with her (she is a year younger than me), she is good friends with a buddy of mine and they always talk and sometimes they hangout (rarely) and sometime they sent the occasional txt they are not dating but i think just good friends. Because of this im a little jealous. Usually i dont find it hard to talk to girls im normally quite comfortable with it, but with this one girl i find it quite hard to maybe its because im slightly intimidated by her for what ever reason or maybe its just because i like her so much. We never really get a chance to talk mainly because there is alot of people around and wouldn't really know what to talk about either. I have no idea what she thinks of me, i don't know if she liked me as a potential boyfriend i really hope so, but im not sure. She has never made if obvious that she likes me, and im not sure if she knows that i like her, my friends know i like her but i haven't told them how i really feel about her. On a few occasions she has touched me unnecessarily for example when we were all sitting in my buddy's one day, she was sitting next to me on the sofa and stretched out her legs across mine, and so i thought "if shes doing that maybe she liked me in some way"
She is a friendly person and i think quite open minded and she is so beautiful. I have her number and we got to the stage were we would txt each other just friendly not really any flirting going on. you know i would maybe ask her how her day was or how she is or something and she always replied and asked the same type of thing.

Anyway one day i summoned the courage to ask her out, i didn't ask her out straight (i sort of hinted her, maybe a little stupid of me), and she replied but didnt give me an answer to it, she sort of tried to change the subject maybe, so i thought to myself "maybe shes just thinking about it" anyway i didnt txt her back and a few days went by and still no word from her. I backed off a little and didnt text her for a few days while i started back at college. One night we all went out for a casual drink, she left early but i realised just before she left that nobody was talking to her for whatever reason, anyway later i txt her i asked her if she was okay and if there was anything wrong and she told me something like "yeah im ok i was just a little poorly" and she thanked me for asking and sent me a few xxxxx's at the end of the txt as usual. Since then we haven't txt or seen each other. I CAN NOT get this girl out of my head, in college i try to concentrate but no matter what shes always in the back of my mind, i feel as if i want to be with her all of the time and want to hangout. I wish i knew if i was a potential boyfriend, at least then i would know were i stood with her. Im afraid of rejection but also afraid of scaring her away, and if i ever found out that she liked somebody else it really would break my heart. I don't want to get on her "friend" side because on day she might tell me she liked somebody and i would be devastated. I really don't know what to do next and i genuinely think i am in love with her, i wish i would tell her how i felt but i would probably scare her away. I really don't want to loose the opportunity to go out with this girl but im afraid i dont know what to do about it, please help me :'(

[JetScreamer]

Dude, I know exactly how you feel. I've been there. What you need to do is take a few steps back. When your emotions control you it's easy to let your mind get clouded. You read EVERYTHING into every little thing, like the xoxo's or whatever they are that a lot of girls will add to the end of texts and FB postings.

She seems to like you as a person, so that could be a good first step. The next thing for you to do is to get her on the phone, act cool and casual (do not act needy or desperate), and ask her out on a date! No hinting, no texting, don't make her guess and don't leave it open for her to conveniently not text you back....do a VOICE call. "Corner" her on the phone and get a definite yes or no from her.

If she says yes, then awesome! If she says no, then act like it's no big deal (even if it does kill you on the inside). I know exactly what it is to be infatuated and to be in love and get rejected. It's brutal... But take it from me, if she turns you down, you WILL bounce back and there are lots more girls out there.

[wezmaster]

It made me feel so much better to know somebody understands me, thank you. What should i do, wait a little while be friendly then ask her out in a few weeks/months? I just don't fell as if i have known her long enough to call her, i mean what do i say, whats a good idea for a date.

[JetScreamer]

Call her now! You have her phone number and are comfortable with texting her, then while not call? Don't put it off!

First date ideas are best when they're kept light and fun, and where you two can actually get some conversation. A casual dinner, a few games of billiards, or a street fair or festival (depending on the weather in your part of the world). Don't feel pressured to make it heavy or romantic. Don't act needy, clingy or desperate. But do give her your undivided attention, smile, and keep the conversation going.