I want her back :(

[Positive+]

Hello

I like a girl for very long time, and It seems like she likes me too or at least she liked me before. We had a lot of chances to build really good relationship and to love each other, but we missed these chances, I don't know why, maybe It's because of me, I was not ready I think, maybe for responsabilty and to do everything for someone because I had many troubles/unsolved questions with my life, and didn't want to make her to suffer because of that, then I understood that I can't live without her but it was too late, she was in relationship with one guy, then with another one... I thought that this is the end, It's like to lose point of the life, when everything else is not important. Last 2 weeks I see her and she see me more than 10 times a day, every day I see sad on her face and pain in her eyes, It hurts and it breaks my heart, and finally it's hard, so hard. I still like her, more and more with each day, now I can't imagine my life without her.


I want her back, I really need advices , I don't want to lose her forever. If only I had one more chance, I would do everything for her.

Note: English is not my first language.. sorry If i did some mistakes.

[stripydan]

I feel your pain man, just be thankful it didn't drag out any longer. You can live without her, your in an illusion where your dependant on someone to be happy. This isn't healthy and truth is you were fine before you were with them, so you'll eventually be fine after knowing them.

As hard as it may seem, you need to calm down and stop panicking. If you send anything to her that's desperate she'll feel less attracted and probably distance herself further. You need some alone time now to collect yourself and enjoy life - keep as busy as you possibly can and don't spend too long in the house. You need to stay in control of your own thoughts and depending on how well you control them, is how well you'll move on and stop feeling pain. Be around all your friends and spend more time with them. Write yourself a list of things you can do to feel better about yourself - use online articles to help you with your list and use your own initiative with what your hobbies are. Your life and self dignity should never come before a girl, no girl is more important than the body you control and the quality of your own life. You have to realise that, so you can get rid of your One-itis that you have. There are 3 billion girls of all shapes and sizes, if you don't think you'll find someone new then you're badly mistaken.. right now you would only like one person but you have to keep options available while your not a priority. Take the time to settle yourself down, I promise you'll start feeling better once you focus on different things. Try not to obsess with it all, it will only do yourself more pain and damage.

[Positive+]

And there is no way for me to be with her?
By the way In these 2 weeks while we see each other, every time we trying not to look in each other eyes, and sometimes we just trying to avoid each other, but as much we're trying this, we meet even many times, every time It looks like each of us want to try to talk, but it doesn't happen ( because of our character i think ) .

Important : Maybe this was my worst choice, but yesterday was her birthday, I couldn't just sit and watch.. I bought biggest bouquet of roses I found and came to her, just to congratulate her, I was very surprised how she met me, it seemed she was very happy that I came, she did not let me go after I congratulated her, I would just go away .. but she insisted, then i came in her house, and I was very surprised that on her birthday were only most closest friends, We spent very nice time, but because of friends we had no time just to have heart to heart talk... When we meet today I finally saw smile on her face, but she had to go and again we had no chance for heart to heart talk. Now i'm totally confused.

[stripydan]

I'm not saying that there isn't a chance in the future, but right now you should just leave her be. Theres always a chance she'll be back but for now you need to give her the time to think about all the good things you both shared. If you don't she could lose a lot of respect for you.

About the roses part, I wouldn't have done that myself. I would've gone for a more relevant thing to her, for example if she's a secretary and you knew she always complained about having no stationery then get her a set of pens (you get what I mean? The little things). I think she felt like she had to smile because you bought her the roses... you might think that it's thoughtful but to her it could seem a bit manipulative and needy. Trust me, if you leave her alone and play it cool/be a bit more scarce you'll have some breathing space of your own to settle your feelings and she'll start missing you. Try not to see her as your priority and have options... that sounds mean but it means the same as 'Don't put all your eggs in one basket', there's a world of gorgeous women to meet. You never know, you could meet someone better than her who spends a lot more time with you. Try not to panic whatever you do, you'll be ok my friend!

[Positive+]

Ty... " Here is another 3 bln girls in the world... , but I don't need 3 bln... I need only her " ... I tried to keep myself busy all the time 24/7 but I burned myself out... I tried to forget her, but when I see her it gets worse... we tried to talk, but I got confused... now she wants to meet for a heart to heart talk it seemd like she gave me a chance to explain, but I don't believe in miracles. I'll just be honest to her... If I see that I was wrong... she will never see me again.

GL

[stripydan]

Well 3 billion is a bit of an exaggeration then lol... but i'm sure you find other girls attractive too? We all do because that's life

You'll feel like you only want her for a long time and that's because you aren't over her yet. You haven't had enough time yet to heal and that will take time. My recent gf of 3.5 years was 'the one' for me too... but we've been apart for months and I don't think she'll be back. But i've had enough time now to realise that if she didn't want to fix anything, then it's her loss and she mustn't have been the right one because the right person would persevere to work it out.

Keep around as many friends as you can but don't over stress yourself, just make sure you don't spend too much time in your house. Avoid whatever makes you feel bad (eg. her facebook page, songs that remind you of her) and do things completely new. For example, I never used to go to nightclubs and party (I was always a pub person!) but since my breakup I tried doing something I thought i'd never do and it worked, it was like a new chapter in my life that felt good. Don't be afraid to try things that are the opposite of the way you usually are! Be with your friends as a way to achieve this

I know how you're feeling, you're down but that will disappear as each day passes. It's a battle between staying away from the wrong things that hurt you and being around the right things that heal you.

[devonbrown]

First, understand that she brought you into your party because it was the polite thing to do. I wouldn't read anything more to it than that.

Second, calm down and take a deep breath. She isn't the only girl in the world.

Third, it is okay to hurt. Don't think it is wrong if you are feeling sad that you aren't with her. That is the natural way to feel.

Fourth, time. Time will help. Trust me.

Good luck.

[bulrush]

Positive, you talked about liking her, but you did not say that to her. You have to tell her you like her and want to date her, if that's how you feel. Otherwise, do not expect anything to happen. No action = no results.

[Positive+]

@stripydan :

Thanks for advice. About " trying something what I thought I'd never do" - I tried but it was not very good idea... One time I was very amazed to discover myself sleeping on the floor in the corridor in the morning and do not remember anything... then I decided to be careful when i want to "do something I'd never thought that I will do " ).

P.S : sorry if I didn't answer /reply for another parts of your advice now.. I will update this reply with my opinion or something else soon.

@sweetnesslady :

Thanks ) I will check it out . I hope it will help ty

@devonbrown :

Thanks a lot, I tried to ask her why she why she met me that way.. ( I can't explain how it was in english, at least how I thought it was ), but she said that she will explain all the things when we meet... I don't know what to think, now i'm just waiting. I understand that she isn't the only girl in the world, but now my world revolves around her.

@bulrush :

You don't know how right are you.. thanks a lot for that, I regret much that I didn't do many important things when it was needed, now it's very hard... but I can't give up, not again.

"No action = no results" - I like it..

[Simple Love]

Tell her how you feel and depending on the way she responds take it from there...

[Positive+]

Thanks, I think I will do it this way... You know when I see her, for a moment, everything freezes, I look only at her, think only about her... .... I hope everything will be alright, It seems that today we will meet, I want to tell her a lot of things about how much her means for me, how much I like her and much more, but I don't know where to start... Now i'm thinking about

[stripydan]

Positive, I hope that the meeting with her went well in the end. Try not to worry about it, don't panic and you'll be ok no matter what happens