***** guys do this because ??????

[smilebby505]

Ok, so Ive been seeing this guy for a little over a month, when we are together we have great chemistry both physical, and verbal. We spend our time laughing flirting and just enjoying each others company, and on occasion he bring up spending more time with me, like during the week etc. I usually see him once a week, on the weekend and we hang out for a few hours or so, and we text and talk daily, except for today? Not sure why I didnt hear from him. However my question for the men out there??? Why would a guy have great chemistry and connection with a girl but not really be into taking it further, ie.. inviting me into his plans or really make a definite sign that he wants more?? Im confused as to why we have such a great spark but after our night is done, he drops off and just leaves it up to a random hows your day text??? Is this a sign he just wants to be casually cool, and not more??? Please help?

[lindalinda]

keep hanging out and give it more time. Sometimes you can withdraw a little. For example, if he ask you out again, tell him you have other plans with your girlfriends. Do that once in a while and see what happens.
DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM until he gives you a positive sign that this relationship is going to be a committed one.

[Mathias]

Ok, so Ive been seeing this guy for a little over a month, when we are together we have great chemistry both physical, and verbal. We spend our time laughing flirting and just enjoying each others company, and on occasion he bring up spending more time with me, like during the week etc. I usually see him once a week, on the weekend and we hang out for a few hours or so, and we text and talk daily, except for today? Not sure why I didnt hear from him. However my question for the men out there??? Why would a guy have great chemistry and connection with a girl but not really be into taking it further, ie.. inviting me into his plans or really make a definite sign that he wants more?? Im confused as to why we have such a great spark but after our night is done, he drops off and just leaves it up to a random hows your day text??? Is this a sign he just wants to be casually cool, and not more??? Please help?

Because he doesn't want to be smothered after just dating for four or five weeks?

Every person has his or her own pace. Just because he doesn't match yours doesn't mean he's wrong.

[Wakeup]

keep hanging out and give it more time. Sometimes you can withdraw a little. For example, if he ask you out again, tell him you have other plans with your girlfriends. Do that once in a while and see what happens.

... and yet another game you propose. Actually being busy is one thing. Pretending to be is quite another.

[bulrush]

Ok, so Ive been seeing this guy for a little over a month, when we are together we have great chemistry both physical, and verbal. We spend our time laughing flirting and just enjoying each others company, and on occasion he bring up spending more time with me, like during the week etc. I usually see him once a week, on the weekend and we hang out for a few hours or so, and we text and talk daily, except for today? Not sure why I didnt hear from him. However my question for the men out there??? Why would a guy have great chemistry and connection with a girl but not really be into taking it further, ie.. inviting me into his plans or really make a definite sign that he wants more?? Im confused as to why we have such a great spark but after our night is done, he drops off and just leaves it up to a random hows your day text??? Is this a sign he just wants to be casually cool, and not more??? Please help?

Hello!! This is not the 1950s. How about if you ask him out on a date, and use the word "date". Try some good old communication, and I think you'll get what you want, and you'll be happier too.

keep hanging out and give it more time. Sometimes you can withdraw a little. For example, if he ask you out again, tell him you have other plans with your girlfriends. Do that once in a while and see what happens.

I do not support people playing games. Just communicate clearly.

DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM until he gives you a positive sign that this relationship is going to be a committed one.

I wouldn't assume she wants a committed relationship. If she wants a fling, what's wrong with that? I think she can make her own decisions. But everyone should be honest about what they are looking for, so no one gets hurt. Simple, right?

[smackie9]

So he has asked you to spend more time with him.....have you fulfilled that request? Maybe you are not giving him enough signals (in his mind you are not maybe) that you are interested in more. He could be not contacting you to not be too available so you will desire him more or it's too late and he has another interest....more of a for sure thing. Like the OP has mentioned maybe you need to be the one to ask him out to get things moving along faster.

[James Banes]

Ask him out directly if you want him so bad.

[smilebby505]

Thank you wakeup.... How do I know if hes busy or pretending,, ?? and to bulrush,,, I have no problem asking him out and I have on many occasions asked him to meet me out or asked him on a date, I equally call and text, I dont play games or retreating and saying Im busy or not returning his phone calls,,,, I dont think because he doesnt know how I feel, bc Ive told him how much I really like him or bc I havent shown him interest, my issue is why is it???? when we are together everything is perfect and we click great, but when the night is over its like it never happen, until again one of us comes up with some plan in another week, I see the interest in him towards me I just dont see the drive to push it thru any further, if that makes any sense......

[Mathias]

Thank you wakeup.... How do I know if hes busy or pretending,, ?? and to bulrush,,, I have no problem asking him out and I have on many occasions asked him to meet me out or asked him on a date, I equally call and text, I dont play games or retreating and saying Im busy or not returning his phone calls,,,, I dont think because he doesnt know how I feel, bc Ive told him how much I really like him or bc I havent shown him interest, my issue is why is it???? when we are together everything is perfect and we click great, but when the night is over its like it never happen, until again one of us comes up with some plan in another week, I see the interest in him towards me I just dont see the drive to push it thru any further, if that makes any sense......

If I were dating you, and I saw any of this - I'd run as fast as possible. I'm not uncommon in this either.

You're setting a whole lot of expectation on him that isn't owed to you. If that's how you want to proceed, more power to you, but realize that's what's happening.

[smilebby505]

No, I appreciate the honesty, Mathias, your right he doesnt really owe me anything yet, and I dont ever mention how I feel to him bc I dont want to scare him off... Im just trying to figure out if this is normal... Some of my friends say no - he should be trying harder, some of my friends say hes taking his time and whats the rush, just looking for an outside opinion....

[smilebby505]

Mathias,,,, can you be specific on what you exactly would make you run??? is it my expectations or the fact that I call/text him or that I ask him out?

[Cerby]

Is this thread because he didn't text you one day? You've been seeing each other for a month, once a week, he wants more and you're not willing or able to meet that. You expect him to do all the work and when he doesn't come through you have an anxiety attack and post in a forum of people you don't know.

After a month of this I'd probably start to back off and explore other options. So if I were you, I'd push a bit harder, and if he is actually resisting, then back off and look elsewhere. Once a week in a month long relationship is nothing worth crying over, it just how the dating game works.

[Mathias]

Mathias,,,, can you be specific on what you exactly would make you run??? is it my expectations or the fact that I call/text him or that I ask him out?

The expectations. A month in, there really shouldn't be a ton of expectations.

If I'm starting to date someone, and they're throwing these things at me just a few weeks in, I know (through experience) that those are only going to get more pronounced as the relationship moves on. That's unhealthy.

[smilebby505]

lol,,, no this isnt about him not calling/texting for one day,,, and that was my question - is this how dating works or is he being shady,,,.. If you read my thread I have no problem doing my share of the work by calling/texting asking him out etc... I dont expect him to do all the word at all. And isnt this forum made for the purpose of getting an outside opinion.,, Hello,, its why people post questions and you respond

[smilebby505]

Thank you Mathias!!!!! thats the answer I was looking for,,,, its my expectations that are wrong....... So far I have not expressed these expectations, but I can see how if I didnt check them now they would be spilled out soon enough,,, Thank you again Mathias