sooo i think i just cost myself a shot with this girl

[george88]

met a girl on a dating site. met up and had a great time. we planned on getting together and going on a date

well we are meeting up thsi weekend but she told me she met a guy the other week and we will ahve to be friends now

soo what do i do?

the thing that sucks is i met her 3 weeks ago and i should have asked her to go on a date the following week but i didnt cuz i thought it would be too soon

soo yea i pretty much just cost myself a shot at a girl didnt i?

[Cerby]

Yep, in the online dating world you need to act fast. You're the guy who was all about "getting to know her better" online. I told you in your other thread you need to act faster and you just shot back a snotty response about how everyone is different. With today's technology its easier than ever to meet someone quickly, so when you snag someone you think you might like, you reel that line in as quickly as you can and get the dating process started. Here is my experience, and how it went with my gf:

-Started talking online
-After 5 minutes of chat she asked to meet me
-A week later we went for coffee
-I called the next day and told her I had fun and planned a real date for 4 days after our first meeting
-By the end of a few weeks we had been out several times, became exclusive at about the 6 week mark

I learned later that she was also going on a first date with another guy the same week we met, it just turns out that I was more compatible with her. If I had acted slower I might have never gotten her at all.
Your plan on waiting a few months to get to know her better means that someone like me had her all tied up a long time ago.

Here is my post from the other thread that was up last week for reference.

Not a month and a half man. . .not that long. Talk about major buildup just to be let-down when you realize that face to face you might not be compatible. Online dating is the tool to connect you, after a few brief chats you need to start face-to-face in order to see if you''re actually compatible. Chatting for 6 weeks is painfully long.

I've done a lot of regular and online dating. At the beginning of online dating, I thought like you, patience is key. This is wrong. After a half-dozen or so meetings I learned its far more effective to meet as soon as you can for a 30 minute coffee to break the ice. If you've met once already what is the holdup?

Remember, you're here for advice, so pushing what you don't want to hear aside doesn't help you.

[george88]

Yep, in the online dating world you need to act fast. You're the guy who was all about "getting to know her better" online. I told you in your other thread you need to act faster and you just shot back a snotty response about how everyone is different. With today's technology its easier than ever to meet someone quickly, so when you snag someone you think you might like, you reel that line in as quickly as you can and get the dating process started. Here is my experience, and how it went with my gf:

-Started talking online
-After 5 minutes of chat she asked to meet me
-A week later we went for coffee
-I called the next day and told her I had fun and planned a real date for 4 days after our first meeting
-By the end of a few weeks we had been out several times, became exclusive at about the 6 week mark

I learned later that she was also going on a first date with another guy the same week we met, it just turns out that I was more compatible with her. If I had acted slower I might have never gotten her at all.
Your plan on waiting a few months to get to know her better means that someone like me had her all tied up a long time ago.

Here is my post from the other thread that was up last week for reference.

yep you were right, I screwed it up

[Cerby]

yep you were right, I screwed it up

No, you didn't. You learned a quick lesson that you can apply going forward. Now you have a little more knowledge for next time.

[oldskool83]

Online dating is not what it sounds like, it more like ebay...

[smackie9]

Screw the friends crap, you are not looking for a friend. Just politely decline and focus on finding someone to date. Ya dating sucks for sure.....it's such a crapshoot.

[manchild]

You did nothing wrong at all. When you date online you need to be careful and so waiting 3 weeks to meet up with her for the first time is not a bad thing. She just finds the other guy more interesting/attractive to her OR is desperate. She would have waited for you if she was interested and definately not ask to be friends. Move on bud, you dont want to go down this road.

[bulrush]

Cerby is right: don't get mad, learn something from this. If you are a slow-mover, chances are you would not be very compatible with a fast-mover. So try to find another slow-moving girl who moves at about your speed.

[smackie9]

Tip: Just because a date or two goes "well" doesn't mean it's destined to become a relationship. People do change their mind, or just don't "feel it". When you get rejected it doesn't you did something wrong. Women have come on this forum many times saying are dating an amazing guy, but don't feel attraction. So chin up and date many, don't date one at a time.....it increases your odds.