general dumb question on my end

[oldskool83]

i been hangin with a girl i meet lil over a month ago. she hasnt asked hardly anything on why im single or that jazz which is nice. But at some point i do want her to know im divorced, not that it should matter because getting married too young to a HS love can and cannt work out once we grow up a little. Should i just let it be until it comes up, because i dont really expect anyone to ask "hey were you ever married before?" I myself dont grill people on their past and take more of the effect of "let the dog come to me approach"

she knows i own a home and asked what made me want to buy, the house i bought my ex wife wanted, reason i bought a house was because i refused to blow money in rent.

her question last night just has me thinking more on my part and im not ashamed im divorced but i dont need to annouce it to everyone im interested in also.

Just wondering because shes 24 and i havent dated that young since well i was married lol!

[oldskool83]

bump...................

[manchild]

It's not relavent that you used to be married really. You are not hiding anything from her. Obviously, as you both get to know each other, you'll probably ask about previous relationships, thats one of the only times its even worth mentioning. Do you have kids with your ex?
Just dont lie to her is all mate.

[oldskool83]

nothing, no ties strong or anything, just didnt work was too young.

[devonbrown]

When the relationship starts getting a little more serious, the topic of past relationships is bound to come up. When it does, then is the time to mention your divorce. There is no need to walk around with a scarlet D on your chest or anything. It is what it is, a failed relationship. It just happened to be a little more serious than a summer fling. Don't sweat it. But, at the same time, don't purposely avoid saying things about it. Then she might feel like you are hiding things when she does find out. Just keep that in mind.

Good luck.

[bulrush]

Don't just tell her for no reason. If she brings it up, then tell her about your divorce.

Good call on buying a house instead of renting. I hope you got a good deal on that house.

[oldskool83]

nope i paid for it lol! 3 months later the housing market crashed. i bought it end of 06 settled jan 5th 07. i put half down on it, shoulda put more down, oh well half is paid and i refinaced last year also. i dont like debt and even if this is good debt i want it gone, i own 70K yet, paid 90K so far and i got a house fund when i get down to 35K ill pay the rest off at once, should be 5 years if not sooner....yay!

thanks for the tip, ill just tell her when it comes up.

[vashti]

I don't see any reason to be worried about this. Most of the divorced people I meet simply refer to their ex-wife at some point in the course of normal conversation. At 24, she probably doesn't know many divorced people she would date (yet), but surely she's heard about them.

I think the thing she will most be worried about is whether or not you are still emotionally tied to your ex. She may think she wants to hear you spew forth venomous thoughts about her, but I warn you not to. Indifference is the opposite of love; hate is not.

[oldskool83]

not attached, i was divorced at age 23..im 28 and had a gf of 2 years that was more of a wife then my ex wife ever was. id still date her if she didnt decide to sleep with our mechanic lol.

[vashti]

id still date her if she didnt decide to sleep with our mechanic lol.

Never admit this to a woman you are dating. Never!

[oldskool83]

oh i wont, if that comes up, g/f cheated so she hadda go. she'll prob wanna know why my garage is turned into a working room. ill own up also, we put a biz in it lol.