Confused about what (not) to do?

[Shou]

We've been dating for ~3 months, are 21 and each others first partner. (I hope this is the right section, the others didn't seem to fit)
She's pretty shy/a more silent communicator, so I try to figure out what she likes or doesn't by her reactions. We didn't even have any open mouth or longer kisses yet, just a few closed for maybe 2 seconds. But we do cuddle a lot. Still, I caress her a lot more than she does me. She just holds me and doesn't move most of the time, apart from maybe stroking my hand or arm a little bit. I'm more active, like stroking her upper arms, lower arms, behind her ears, her neck.. which it seems she likes. Last time I even gave her a foot massage while watching a movie, which she seemed to enjoy a lot.
But 90% of the time I want to kiss her, she shifts her head in a way so I can't; note I've never kissed her all on my own, I always wait for her to move in too. 10% she does, only for a short one, then shifts her head again.
Sometimes makes wonder if she actually wants to or just does because she thinks I want to.
So I asked her if she didn't want to kiss much yet, where she just said nothing, which I mostly interpret as "no". I also asked if it's because I'm doing something wrong and she shook her head.

I also was stroking her upper chest and carefully put a finger between her breasts a bit (clothed, cleavage). She seemed unexpectedly comfortable with it and smiled, but I didn't go farther since I kind of want to have a "proper" kiss first.

Because it was late last time I offered her to stay over for the night (for the first time. no I did not want to go for sex), where she answered "next time". Which I was ok with and got ready to bring her to the station. I came back and she told me she'd stay after all. I offered her multiple places, her sleeping in my double bed & me on the couch or both of us in the double bed. She wanted to sleep on the couch in the end, okay.

Next morning when I brought her to the station, she suddently said something like "I think we will fit in my bed together, right?". So she expects me to stay over next time. Note she has no couch, and 1 bed which is not much broader than an avarage couch. We'd probably have to press against and hold each other to not fall off when sleeping.
I thought 'wait.., what? wow' but went along with it, "Should be possible".


I'm a bit confused. She doesn't want to have a passionate kiss, but sleep in a small bed together.
Maybe she thought I'd go farther if we got to making out; then thought I'd try something when sleeping in the same bed, then decided to see, by staying over and sleeping apart? Sounds a bit far fetched to me tbh.

I know you can't tell what she want or what to do or not, but I wonder - do you think she wants me to do something, or is this avarage, incomprehensible, women behavior?

[bulrush]

She's pretty shy/a more silent communicator, so I try to figure out what she likes or doesn't by her reactions.

Bad communication on her part is a recipe for disaster.

We didn't even have any open mouth or longer kisses yet, just a few closed for maybe 2 seconds.

Oookaaay. And you're in Germany? Home of latex, leather, whips and chains?

It almost sounds like she wants sex, but no romance. A kiss is considered romantic, and emotional/intimate. But she doesn't want that. Or she has some phobia of kissing. Or you have bad breath, or she does and she doesn't want to kiss. And you may not be her first partner, just sayin, it could be possible.

[Shou]

Well I hope it gets better with communication, since we aren't together very long yet.

..Home of latex, leather, whips and chains? lol, whatever; I'd say the attitudes are about as distributed as anywhere.

We've talked about previous experience, and neither of us even kissed anyone before (apart from when we were under 10, which doesn't count). I do believe her and from her person I'd say there's about no way she just wants sex..
I hope I'm right, I 'love' her as much as I can imagine after the short time and no way do I want sex before being comfortable with kissing.

I think it's more like she loves cuddling, but is too shy to do much herself, including kissing; and wants to wait a longer time before having sex. One indication for it is (as I mentioned before) when we cuddle, she does caress me, but lightly and avoids being bold about it.
I think she was/is scared of me doing too much, being a guy and her first partner; but hopefully has come to trust me as I try to be very careful and not force anything.

Maybe the desciption doesn't really match up, but that's also why I'm confused. I'm really sure I don't have the wrong impression of her, from knowing her and also from things her/my friend said.
So I don't get what's wrong with kissing.
Neither of us has bad breath, she doesn't and I brush teeth long, chew mint gum and eat nothing before meeting.


For reference, I'll try being more detailed -
Last time I thought I'd try a bit more to kiss, and it was the first time it was longer than half a second. One time I looked at her smile for a longer time (I just love to) she kissed me all herself, another short one of course.
I think we had about 5 kisses which lasted ~2 seconds.
Most of the time she shifted her head so I couldn't kiss, I stayed near her anyway and it ended up in playing with our noses (not just me) a few times, maybe that counts a bit as romantic?

I don't know whether to do the same next time; or I could tell her I really want to have a longer kiss and ask what shes not comfortable with; or wait until she does, which probably won't happen for some time..
I'm okay with holding back on deeper stuff, but not being able to even kiss is a bit.. meh =/


Edit:

I think this thread is done. I thought nothing would happen the day I slept over (nothing was during the day and even when we went to sleep), but an hour or so after going to sleep she suddenly turned around and started to kiss me.
She turned kind of wild and didn't stop, it went for 2 hrs. I never would've expected that, considering how shy usually is.

[bokamia]

"I think she was/is scared of me doing too much, being a guy and her first partner;"

Is it possible you are imagining it? May be you are waiting for her to react. For her, she just wants you to take the next step, but she would not say