My 40 year love story

**romantic_guy** · 03-10-11, 10:24 PM

I was 16 years old and it was the first day of a new school year. Our high school was tenth, eleventh, and twelfth grades and I was in eleventh grade, a sophomore. I noticed this gorgeous girl come into class. I remember the day well; it was A Cappella choir. She was about 5’2” around 100 lbs, gorgeous legs and she had this gorgeous long reddish brown hair. She was 15 and it was her first day of high school. I could not take my eyes off of her and I really wanted to meet her. I asked a mutual friend to introduce us. We talked for a bit and started seeing each other.

There was this immediate chemistry between us. We were on and off for a couple of months, then we were ON and really on!! I walked her to class, we talked on the phone every night, we started making out...typical teenage stuff, I know. We were in the school musical together so we were together every evening. We were even singing in the chorus of a local upstart opera group. Then it happened, we became sexually active and she got pregnant. Now what?

All I knew was that I loved her and I did not want to turn my back on her. I wanted to marry her and she wanted to marry me. So in July of 1972 we got married. It has not been easy. We had to get counseling at one point. But today we are still madly in love. We are best friends and passionate lovers. And, by the way, she has not changed much. Her hair is shorter, she is at about 110 lbs, still has those gorgeous legs, and I still melt when she kisses me...and we are still making beautiful music together. I would not change a thing.

**steviej** · 03-10-11, 11:54 PM

Thats a great story! What difficulties did you encounter that required counselling? How did you work through it?
Personally i think these are the important bits to learn from others so i can try and avoid the same pitfalls.

**romantic_guy** · 04-10-11, 12:39 AM

Originally Posted by steviej

Thats a great story! What difficulties did you encounter that required counselling? How did you work through it?
Personally i think these are the important bits to learn from others so i can try and avoid the same pitfalls.

What problems?? How much time do you have!! We started so young that neither of had any clue how to make a relationship work. We spent the first 10 years or so with me being passive-aggressive and her withdrawing emotionally. This had a HUGE effect on our sex life. Where was this hot sexy little thing that I fell in love with??? Well, here are the major things we learned:

1. Through the Myers/Briggs test we learned that our personalities were different in all areas but one (we are both introverts). We are opposite than most couples in that I am more feelings based and my wife is more logic based.
2. Most of disagreements in marriage are not issues of right or wrong, but we make them issues of right or wrong.
3. We learned how to communicate and resolve conflict (google "Fighting Fair")
4. through the book "The Five Love Languages" we learned that my wife's main ways of feeling loved were words of affirmation/acts of service and mine are quality time/physical touch.
5. I learned that she needed to feel emotional intimacy before she wanted physical intimacy (sex) and she learned that I needed to have physical intimacy (sex) to feel emotional intimacy. This was huge because I realized that, as long as I was being passive-aggressive and being an ass to her, treating like a jerk, putting her down, criticising her, etc. there was no way she could desire sex with me. As I learned a new behavior, she began to feel emotionally intimate and the great sex returned. It took time, but today it is better than ever.

I may think of more but that is a start.

**IndiReloaded** · 04-10-11, 03:16 AM

Good stuff RG.

**Wakeup** · 04-10-11, 05:00 AM

You mention some awesome books, Romantic Guy. We've read the one's you've mentioned and we've been together since high school as well.

Cheers and congratulations on figuring each other out.

**selcuk** · 02-05-12, 07:29 AM

Thanks Romantic-guy for sharing your story. you put a smile on my face.

**teacup711** · 05-05-12, 10:46 PM

That was inspiring, and it should be a banner ad on this forum! Its honesty is very appealing but thats the secret i guess to a couple's longevity. Thanks for your story, well worth the read.