Please help..... *Should my long term boyfriend of 2 years pay for me?*

[smackie9]

You are the red flag here. If you can't come to a compermise with your money issues this relationship is on it's way to "fail". Date a guy that is so called "generious" because your BF is standing firm on the spending habits.

[smackie9]

I have been with my guy for over 20 years and it has always been 50/50 even if he makes more money than I do. We don't buy things "together", when we go out for dinner he buys, then I buy......and guess what, we never fight about money. If women want equal rights then don't expect a guy to "pay for it" just because he makes more than you do.

[scott green]

No she doesn't WANT him to spend money on her. She was fine with them sharing expenses until her parents put their two entitlement thinking cents into her head.

Please try not to instill your misogyny in every thread.

Actually, if you read the original post, it sounds VERY MUCH like she does, so much so that her bf has had to tell her repeatedly that it's not always the Bfs role to pay for everything. She sounds like she thinks he's being unreasonable that he won't pay everytime they go out, and she wants people to agree that her Bfs being a tight ass with his money. Read the original post. Just because the OP has backtracked doesn't change her original question. I dont blame her, I blame the parents for thinking like dinosaurs, and having her expect a man to wait on her hand and foot. It don't work that way anymore, yea it's courtesy for a guy to pay for the first few dates, and treat her every now and then, but after 2 years when the guy is saving towards a home of probably what he thinks will be their own and a decent start for the future, I dont think so. Most girls would be over the moon to have a guy like that who thinks of the future and is saving towards a decent life in his / thier own home, not blowing all his cash on taking her out for bloody lunches and dinners all the time, like a pampered little princess, and having no savings for the future.

[Wakeup]

I did read the original post. I also read all the other posts as well. Her parents influenced her. She was fine before they got involved as OP details in one of her subsequent posts. I think after reading about some fairness in who and how dates are paid for she is now back at her original stance of being fine with sharing expenses. I wouldn't put so much emphasis on him being a tight wad with her because he is saving for a home while assuming that she'll be sharring it with him. Chances are they may break up, they may not though... time will tell.

I'm actually with Smackie on this one. We always took turns paying from day one and we've been together for over 30 years. If it was a special ocassion (like an anniversarry then he would pay because he did make more money then me in the beginning. At one point I made quite a bit more than him and we still did the same thing.

I am totally against "entitlement expectations" of what some women adhere to and think they deserve. Op is not one of those women inspite of her parents trying to teach her to be one.

In this particular thread I'm more against the bitter rhetoric not against the equal paying for dates.

[scott green]

I think the bitter rhetoric is there because guys are just sick of getting treated like bank machines, and sick of women who just expect a guy to pay for everything with one hand, and demanding equal rights with the other. I've had an ex like that, I think a lot of guys have, and it doesn't feel nice

[oldskool83]

830 a mo take home, 300 a mo for bills. your obviously living at home and young so theres 530 you got left. do somthing nice for your bf. your just banking all your extra. would $30 a month on a nice meal out with your bf really kill you. i bet you spend more then that a month on cosmetics from walmart.

somone got owed!

[surfhb]

I'll go the other way and say there is no such thing a equality of the sexes and never will be. I pay because I think its the man's place...guess what......Most women and men agree! Once youre married, it doesnt matter but Its the man's place to be head of the household too....someone needs to be in charge. AGAIN THIS IS A GENERALIZATION !

Many women say they want equal rights but really they dont. Equal respect is what they want and DESERVE! There's a big difference

[Jazzersize]

Actually, women are the ones who control the purse strings in most households. If you've ever worked in sales or marketing you'd know this for a fact. Make the man feel big and important by looking him in the eye and talking to him, but appeal to the wifey above all. The only time a man ever makes a big purchase on his own is when he's snuck out of the house with the credit card and he's prepared to sleep on the couch for the next week.

[GirlOne]

I'm always amazed at how girls view relationships as something they can get something out of ... where does love come into it?

I've always paid for everything for me in the relationship, so if my boyfriend said we're going to the theatre and he bought the tickets for us both, when we'd arrive I'd ask how much and give him the cash for the ticket for me.

Also we always had great sex, so I didn't think just because we were going out to dinner, that because we were having sex later, that he had to pay for my dinner. After all, isn't that the definition of a Prostitute/Escort?

Women make up 50% of the workforce and earn the same as men, even if they come from a dirt poor background. Therefore in this day and age, women expecting men to pay for them is a definite no-no.

I would think the only time you could get something for free is your birthday, Christmas or like a treat like a new job, or bad news like someone died. This rule is the same as if you'd been dating your boyfriend 3 months or 10 years.

The other thing is that when I was studying/had no money or when my boyfriend had a poor job, I would always suggest cheap nights out where I was cooking at home or I got coupons for the restaurant and if that meant we were always eating at home, well, so be it.

You shouldn't think you're giving him sex so he owes you - after all, you're getting something out of the sex as well aren't you? ...

The only exception I guess, would be if you or your parents got him his well paid job, because then, he owes you his salary, because he only has his big salary thanks to you or your family.

[surfhb]

Women make up 50% of the workforce and earn the same as men, even if they come from a dirt poor background. Therefore in this day and age, women expecting men to pay for them is a definite no-no.

Not here they dont and its certainly not true worldwide. It may be a NO No but its certainly expected from most working women

[surfhb]

Actually, women are the ones who control the purse strings in most households. If you've ever worked in sales or marketing you'd know this for a fact. Make the man feel big and important by looking him in the eye and talking to him, but appeal to the wifey above all. The only time a man ever makes a big purchase on his own is when he's snuck out of the house with the credit card and he's prepared to sleep on the couch for the next week.

things are very different when yourre married. To make a big purchase without asking the other spouse is just disrespectful.

[Wakeup]

Women make up 50% of the workforce and earn the same as men, even if they come from a dirt poor background.

Can you quote your source of this information so I can read up on that, please.

Therefore in this day and age, women expecting men to pay for them is a definite no-no.

I agree that woman shouldn't "EXPECT" men to pay but I don't agree with why you think they shouldn't. Not till I read your source anyway.

The only exception I guess, would be if you or your parents got him his well paid job, because then, he owes you his salary, because he only has his big salary thanks to you or your family.

Really? You really believe that?

[GirlOne]

[url=http://abcnews.go.com/WN/reverse-gender-gap-study-young-childless-women-earn/story?id=11538401]Reverse Gender Gap: Study Says Young, Childless Women Earn More Than Men - ABC News[/url]

[url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/8803019/Young-women-now-earning-more-than-men.html[/url]

Yeh to your other quote, I tend to think that if you get someone a well-paid job and they would have only got that well-paid job down to you, then that person owes you big-time.

[surfhb]

Can you quote your source of this information so I can read up on that, please.

Well I thought is was just common knowledge but do a google on Gender Salary Gaps. Right now its just below 85% for women according to the latest polls

EDIT: Sorry...thought you were talking to me

[surfhb]

[url=http://abcnews.go.com/WN/reverse-gender-gap-study-young-childless-women-earn/story?id=11538401]Reverse Gender Gap: Study Says Young, Childless Women Earn More Than Men - ABC News[/url]

[url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/8803019/Young-women-now-earning-more-than-men.html[/url]

Yeh to your other quote, I tend to think that if you get someone a well-paid job and they would have only got that well-paid job down to you, then that person owes you big-time.

Young, childless women are not "most women".

I rarely date a girl that thinks as you? why is that? Ive dated Lawyers, PHd candidates and Princeton graduates yet they all expect me to pay? Hmmmmm !!!