Please help..... *Should my long term boyfriend of 2 years pay for me?*

[vashti]

I like him too however: I want respect and equal pay for equal work. Why are women over the age of 30 still only earning 85 cents to a man's $1.00? What is the reasoning behind that I wonder?

Actually, I never really pay attention to those kind of statistics. Women and men doing the same job DO earn the same pay, at least they have in every job I ever had, and I have to believe that career choice and maternity leaves play a role.

Women who are educated tend to go into fields like nursing and teaching, whereas men with similar education tend towards business and science. Men may make more money in those fields, but probably hate their jobs, so it all evens out.

I also don't think that the point you make will be true for much longer anyway... young women are more educated than their male counterparts nowadays, and make better money. They have been trained to be more aggressive in pursuing their goals, whereas young men are clinging to their teenage behaviors and not progressing.

[Wakeup]

That's good to hear. I'll tell you that when I went on maternity leave 28 years ago, I found out when I got back that the man that took over for me while I was on leave made a lot more than me. In fact, If you calculated it yearly.. he would have been making almost $10,000 more a year than what I was. That, is a hefty hunk of change. I had FIGHT hard in the human resources department to get my wage up to his hourly rate. Luckily I had a very good reputation amongst all the VP's across the country and it was hard for them to dismiss me for being "radical." It was a male dominated industry where the teamsters were involved. I find that unionized employees have no wage discrepancies for the same job. Management (which I was in) was not unionized.

Unfortunately or fortunately actually, the company was sold (to Americans) and we all got laid off a couple of years later when I decided to stay home and raise our child instead of having a babysitter do it.

[vashti]

That's good to hear.

Eh, good in some ways, and not in others. I would be happy to trade back (some) of the money in exchange for the return of *real* men, but that's just me.

[scott green]

That's good to hear. I'll tell you that when I went on maternity leave 28 years ago, I found out when I got back that the man that took over for me while I was on leave made a lot more than me. In fact, If you calculated it yearly.. he would have been making almost $10,000 more a year than what I was. That, is a hefty hunk of change. I had FIGHT hard in the human resources department to get my wage up to his hourly rate. Luckily I had a very good reputation amongst all the VP's across the country and it was hard for them to dismiss me for being "radical." It was a male dominated industry where the teamsters were involved. I find that unionized employees have no wage discrepancies for the same job. Management (which I was in) was not unionized.

Unfortunately or fortunately actually, the company was sold (to Americans) and we all got laid off a couple of years later when I decided to stay home and raise our child instead of having a babysitter do it.

I think you hit the nail on the head there - 28 years ago! Yes, it was like that 28 years ago - IN THE 80's! Jesus Christ! Are you using something that happened 28 years ago to justify your outdated beliefs now? We're now in the 21st Century, in case you've forgotten, and women's rights have taken a MASSIVE leap forward since then.

My boss (a highly respected engineer has just left his full time Associates position to work part time, so he has the time to drop the kids as school and pick them up again, get them dinner, homework, put them to bed, as his wife is now the main full time bread winner, as she earns twice what he does as head neuro surgeon. He is effectively the live-in parent, or main 'mother' figure to them, while his wife is the main bread winner in the family. I've been seeing that role reversal being the case more and more over the past 5-10 years, where its not just decided that its the 'mans place' to work, it comes down to the highest wage earner who goes back, and the lowest who looks after the kids. And I'm sure we'll see this grow over the next 10 years, and all because of women's rights and women's push for equality. Now we are starting to finally get there, with more and more fathers thinking 'you know what, I wouldnt mind looking after the kids and being a house husband, if you want to go back, dear'

[Wakeup]

Are you using something that happened 28 years ago to justify your outdated beliefs now?

You'll have to explain to me where you think my beliefs are outdated? I'm all for equal rights in all aspects of genderhood. As I've stated several times in this thread. It was another poster that sent us to a current link that said that women over the age of 30 are STILL earning only 85 cents to every man's dollar.

[vashti]

in case you've forgotten, and women's rights have taken a MASSIVE leap forward since then.

No they haven't, and if you think they HAVE, please say how. The example you posted isn't about "women's rights", but rather "men's rights".

[scott green]

I gave you an example of a man who earns HALF as much as his wife, even with being in a high powered job himself, who is now working part time so he can be the main carer for his kids so his wife can work full time as the main bread winner. It's happening more and more. How is that not a massive step forward in equality compared to your example set ALMOST THIRTY YEARS AGO??? Yea I read that report saying 85 cents to the dollar, but I have never seen it in the industry I work in. In fact, most women I know earn MORE than thier male counterparts

[scott green]

No they haven't, and if you think they HAVE, please say how. The example you posted isn't about "women's rights", but rather "men's rights".

And it shouldnt be about men's or women's rights, it should be about EQUALITY. I still can't believe someone's using an example from the early 1980's to complain about what things are like now??

[Wakeup]

I gave you an example of a man who earns HALF as much as his wife, even with being in a high powered job himself, who is now working part time so he can be the main carer for his kids so his wife can work full time as the main bread winner. It's happening more and more. How is that not a massive step forward in equality compared to your example set ALMOST THIRTY YEARS AGO??? Yea I read that report saying 85 cents to the dollar, but I have never seen it in the industry I work in. In fact, most women I know earn MORE than thier male counterparts

And it shouldnt be about men's or women's rights, it should be about EQUALITY. I still can't believe someone's using an example from the early 1980's to complain about what things are like now??

why do you have tunnel vision regarding my post?. I used the example just for that, an example of what was compared to how far things have improved based on what Vashti posted. I suspect the .85/$1.00 is based on more than your one industry. You gave a personal example of a man who earns less and has chosen to be Mr. Mom. Kudos for them for choosing what is best suited for their particular circumstance. My post does not say anything about there being no massive step forward in equality. In fact, it showcases just how far we have come if you compare to what vashti said. Equality in pay is still lacking though according to that link. Whether you choose to discredit it based on your one industry and your one example then so be it.

[scott green]

Well I can give you an example of inequality on his side. Because she chose to go back, and he chose to care for the kids and the new baby, he wasn't entitled to any paternity leave to how much paid maternity leave she was entitled to. He had to leave work for 3 months completely unpaid, and the government said he wasnt entitled to any paid leave because he was a man, and not entitled to any benefits as he had left his job himself, whereas if his wife took that time off instead of returning to work she would have been entitled to 6 months or whatevers part paid maternity leave. Where is the equality in that?

[Wakeup]

Well I can give you an example of inequality on his side. Because she chose to go back, and he chose to care for the kids and the new baby, he wasn't entitled to any paternity leave to how much paid maternity leave she was entitled to. He had to leave work for 3 months completely unpaid, and the government said he wasnt entitled to any paid leave because he was a man, and not entitled to any benefits as he had left his job himself, whereas if his wife took that time off instead of returning to work she would have been entitled to 6 months or whatevers part paid maternity leave. Where is the equality in that?

Here in Canada a couple who have just had a baby have equal rights to maternity benefits and time off. Either spouse can take a year off with govenrment assisted benefits. If you like, one can take off six months and the other can take off six months without fear of losing their job or going without compensation. Work on your government for more equality in that regard. 30 years ago only the mother could take the time and we got 3 months leave.

[scott green]

Here in Canada a couple who have just had a baby have equal rights to maternity benefits and time off. Either spouse can take a year off with govenrment assisted benefits. If you like, one can take off six months and the other can take off six months without fear of losing their job or going without compensation. Work on your government for more equality in that regard. 30 years ago only the mother could take the time and we got 3 months leave.

Jesus Christ i think over here guys are still only eligible for 2 weeks leave, and a week of that is unpaid!!

[smackie9]

Then i'll speak about all the Wives and girlfriends who do the same thing. Your posts are disrespectful and have no statistical evidence to back it up.

I'm living proof that in my house, I do the majority of the chores, pay the bills, work full time, do all the grocery shopping, cooking, etc, so does my sister in law, my mom, etc. Women just naturally fall into those rolls. I only know of one women that does pretty much nothing, and now they are getting divorced because of it. If women had that attitude about men they would be divorcing men left right and center but we don't because we are idiots lol.

[oldskool83]

im living proof thru my marraige i did all cleaning and cooking and food shoppin while work 11hr a day and redoing a house, paying all the bills....cut the shit. both males and females can do this.

women normaly want the roll of this, some have no idea who to go about the roll.

[smackie9]

I'm not say men are incapable of doing it....no I'm saying most men won't do it.