Please help..... *Should my long term boyfriend of 2 years pay for me?*

[Wakeup]

Plenty of Fish In The Sea. Unfortunately, not all of them are compatible, do we have chemistry with and, who we can stand to look at first thing in the morning. I'd not give up a good man who I am compatible with in most ways, have chemistry with and who I can stand to look at first thing in the morning just because he didn't by me dinner. I tend to believe that not too many woman would either. I make/made enough to buy my own dinner but it's always nice when he treats and he's always grateful when I want to treat too.

[scott green]

, if you are a man who can't even be bothered to pay for my dinner (presumably after we've had lunch, coffee, an outing someplace interesting--hardly a huge financial investment) without expecting more than my delightful conversation: I'm moving on b/c its clear we aren't compatible..

So you expect a man to pay for lunch, coffee, an outing, AND dinner everytime you see him? Even though you get a good wage yourself? You say it's "hardly a huge financial investment", but I disagree. Lunch, a day out, coffee and a dinner will normally equate to a few 100 dollars. If he's expected to pay that EVERYTIME he takes you out for the day, that could soon add up to over $ 1000 a month easily, possibly $ 2000. I think it's pretty disgusting that in this day and age a guy on the same wage as a woman is being expected to foot the bill for everything. You really think that a man has to pay so much just to spend quality time with you? What about the mans time? Is he worth nothing unless he's spending every last cent on you, while you spend all your own money on yourself? Things should be equal in a relationship, there should be give and take, not just take take take.

[IndiReloaded]

So you expect a man to pay for lunch, coffee, an outing, AND dinner everytime you see him? Even though you get a good wage yourself? You say it's "hardly a huge financial investment", but I disagree. Lunch, a day out, coffee and a dinner will normally equate to a few 100 dollars. If he's expected to pay that EVERYTIME he takes you out for the day, that could soon add up to over $ 1000 a month easily, possibly $ 2000. I think it's pretty disgusting that in this day and age a guy on the same wage as a woman is being expected to foot the bill for everything. You really think that a man has to pay so much just to spend quality time with you? What about the mans time? Is he worth nothing unless he's spending every last cent on you, while you spend all your own money on yourself? Things should be equal in a relationship, there should be give and take, not just take take take.

Shrug. This is why a man like you would never be with a woman like me. That, and apparently you can't do simple math. My calculation for coffee, lunch and a day out (unspecified, it would normally be a hike someplace) comes in at under $50.

[scott green]

Shrug. This is why a man like you would never be with a woman like me. That, and apparently you can't do simple math. My calculation for coffee, lunch and a day out (unspecified, it would normally be a hike someplace) comes in at under $50.

Yea, but you ALSO said he should pay for DINNER for both of you, which is EASILY another $50. So your talking about minimum $ 100 for a date with you (let's say $20 gas to take you around, $35 lunch, $15 coffee, $65 dinner. At Least thats the prices I'd expect to pay. Hey, I have no problems paying for the first few dates. I just think it's a bit rich to expect a guy to pay EVERYTIME he takes you out, and as I said (from experience) a girl who expects you to pay EVERYTIME you go out SOON ADDS UP over the course of the month. Why wouldn't it? It's common sense. If I'm paying over $100 everytime I see a chick, I go out with her even twice a week, that's $1000+ easily a month - probably a LOT more, and that's before I want to see her 3, 4 days a week. Why should I be spending all that when were on the same wage, and she doesn't even stick her hand in her pocket once? Quite honestly most guys would eventually dump a girl who thinks like that. I know I have in the past.

[KingZ]

Women who are educated tend to go into fields like nursing and teaching, whereas men with similar education tend towards business and science. Men may make more money in those fields, but probably hate their jobs, so it all evens out.

What a stupid thing to say.

[tremolo]

I recall when living with my dad while going to school, my BF made good money. Yes he paid for most things, but I didn't expect it and I did my best to pay for whatever. There were times I couldn't afford things say like go on a camping trip, I just didn't go....I had no problem with that.

That's pretty much my take on all this. I am currently unemployed, trying to finish up grad school, and I have very, very limited money. In my last relationship, I was dating a lawyer who made well over 100k per year. When we started dating, I would allow him to buy me dinner or whatever, and then I would try to reciprocate by buying him a nightcap. After a few dates, I invited him out for lunch and picked up the bill. Once we started our relationship, he paid for most everything we did, but I would cook for him in return and often bought him small gifts to show him I cared. When his lawyer friends wanted to go on expensive vacations and things, I told him to go without me and have a fun time. I never expected him to pay for anything extravagant.

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[vashti]

Yea, but you ALSO said he should pay for DINNER for both of you, which is EASILY another $50. So your talking about minimum $ 100 for a date with you (let's say $20 gas to take you around, $35 lunch, $15 coffee, $65 dinner. At Least thats the prices I'd expect to pay. Hey, I have no problems paying for the first few dates. I just think it's a bit rich to expect a guy to pay EVERYTIME he takes you out, and as I said (from experience) a girl who expects you to pay EVERYTIME you go out SOON ADDS UP over the course of the month. Why wouldn't it? It's common sense. If I'm paying over $100 everytime I see a chick, I go out with her even twice a week, that's $1000+ easily a month - probably a LOT more, and that's before I want to see her 3, 4 days a week. Why should I be spending all that when were on the same wage, and she doesn't even stick her hand in her pocket once? Quite honestly most guys would eventually dump a girl who thinks like that. I know I have in the past.

I think it's pretty obvious that men from a different social class than you belong to wouldn't blink twice at the expense.

[DoesntMatter]

I enjoy sex

yessss....

[scott green]

I think it's pretty obvious that men from a different social class than you belong to wouldn't blink twice at the expense.

*shrugs* I get a pretty decent middle management wage, probably well over $100,000 in US Currency a year, and I still think a woman shouldn't just expect to be completely spoiled if she's on a reasonable salary, and can afford it herself. That's just reasonable. Certainly from what the OP was describing. Sounds more like your describing wanting to be a kept woman with a sugar daddy there to spoil you

[smackie9]

That's pretty much my take on all this. I am currently unemployed, trying to finish up grad school, and I have very, very limited money. In my last relationship, I was dating a lawyer who made well over 100k per year. When we started dating, I would allow him to buy me dinner or whatever, and then I would try to reciprocate by buying him a nightcap. After a few dates, I invited him out for lunch and picked up the bill. Once we started our relationship, he paid for most everything we did, but I would cook for him in return and often bought him small gifts to show him I cared. When his lawyer friends wanted to go on expensive vacations and things, I told him to go without me and have a fun time. I never expected him to pay for anything extravagant.

The difference to this thread tho is she has money to save. I almost had to used every penny I made for basic needs like bus fare to school, supplies for college (Graphic arts), and to buy groceries.

[smackie9]

*shrugs* I get a pretty decent middle management wage, probably well over $100,000 in US Currency a year, and I still think a woman shouldn't just expect to be completely spoiled if she's on a reasonable salary, and can afford it herself. That's just reasonable. Certainly from what the OP was describing. Sounds more like your describing wanting to be a kept woman with a sugar daddy there to spoil you

And that's why you should date women that earn close to your earnings. Women who make this kind of money are probably very independent and would be most likely not the type to "expect" a man to pay for everything.

[vashti]

*shrugs* I get a pretty decent middle management wage, probably well over $100,000 in US Currency a year, and I still think a woman shouldn't just expect to be completely spoiled if she's on a reasonable salary, and can afford it herself. That's just reasonable. Certainly from what the OP was describing. Sounds more like your describing wanting to be a kept woman with a sugar daddy there to spoil you

Eh, $100,000 where I live wouldn't go all that far. I think your issue is that you don't have the capacity to appreciate anything other than cold, hard cash and sex, and that's okay. There are women out there who have similar values.

And smackie? You are wrong. Men and women who make good incomes tend to place less importance on keeping things exactly even. Money (and monetary equality) is most important to people who don't have any.

[DoesntMatter]

About 95% of people in business, finance, banking, investing etc who earn over $100k don't deserve even a fraction of it. All they do is skim money.

[smackie9]

LOL! sure. Where do people get this sh it from? CNN?