A tricky situation

[rawfan1989]

I am kind of disappointed with how everything has turned out. I don't know why I can not attract anyone who I am attracted to. It seems like I am missing something. Here is the thing my cousin wants me get to know this person that I am not attracted to, I checked her out on facebook she seems nice but I am not feeling it. I hate wording it like that but that is the only way I know how to. Problem is I don't know how to communicate it towards my cousin because I do not want to cause hard feelings. Plus I am going through personal issues surrounding the thing, lets just say I wish I never knew this person and never met this person. I got turned down by her. Now I realize that she did not find me attractive, so I guess I am in her (the one who turned me down) shoes. But one thing I can not stand is that I could never attract the attractive. In the last 4 years I have been in college I have had not one relationship and not only that I have never had anyone refer to anyone either. Sometimes I don't know anything any more. I know one thing is that I want to be myself when I am around them (those) I like because it shows honesty. Another problem is that my cousin has invited her to come to my school and thought it would be cool to hangout which I am not 100% comfortable in doing. So I do not know what to do or say? I don't want two things one cause hard feelings two be the reason of someones broken heart.

[GirlOne]

1. Don't give up hope, eventually you like someone who likes you back just as much as you like them.
2. Sometimes things take time, so someone will come along, don't worry.
3. Treat people how you would like to be treated yourself, so let down your cousin's friend how you would be expected to be let down.
4. There's no need to be awkward around this girl - be friendly and cool. She'll soon get that you're not into her. Perhaps drop hints like "my girlfriend likes that band too" ... something like your mind is elsewhere with another girl, or tell your cousin straight that you're not into your cousin's friend.

[help_me]

one thins i wud say... only superficial ppl go for looks... i have seen lots of ppl who may not rank high on the physical attractiveness scale bt have an awesum charisma abt them.... i have myself dated a guy in the past who was not very good looking bt a very interesting person to go out with.... let me list a few things which i found really attractive about him.
1. intellect
2. ambition
3. willingness to explore new horizons
4. travelling (coz i love that too)
5. his ability to stand up for himself and ppl around him (especially being respectful to everyone)

so i would say that rather than working on the physical level work on ur nature.... remember positive and fun loving nature is more fun to hang around it... if u are good looking and do not know how to communicate then no girl would go out with him... greatest example of all times "Casanova"

[GirlOne]

I definitely think - be yourself - whatever your personality. People can't stand fakes and being someone else. Many times I have seen people try to be something they are not. Believe me, whatever your personality there will be someone out there who thinks you're attractive.

Besides, people go for different looks and personalities.

Some people don't like over-confident guys, some like geeks, some only like sporty guys, some like shy guys. The same goes for girls. The main advice is be yourself and someone will come along who likes you, for you, just you. You will have more confidence and be more self-assured knowing they like you, for you, rather than having to lie and pretend to be something/someone you're not, which they will find out anyway with time.

[Wakeup]

How can you tell through a bloody fkfacebook photo that you're not "feeling it?" Did you not see the movie American Pie where the lead character hated the band camp girl at first? Well, she turned out to be one hot tamale and in the sequel to the movie they got married. So get off your keester meeester and get yourself out on that date with his counsin. If you're not feeling it after a date or two, then write her off but to write her off before you've even met her is just you being lazy and photo judgemental.

You will not "break someone's heart" by going on a date or two and then deciding that it's not working for you. That is what dating is all about, to get to learn more about a person and then deciding if you mesh. Quit making excuses for yourself and get out there and date. If this girl friend of your cousin turned you down before then tell your cousin that and he'll lay off the pushing of meeting. However; you should go to the school meet and get to know her better. If you two don't hit it off then maybe she has a friend that she can introduce you to. Become her platonic friend and network from there.

Sitting at your desk and worrying and complaining about things isn't going to progress you anywhere. Be proactive and enthusiastic instead of inactive and negative. You might want to think about reading The Secret so that you can turn around the negativity. What you put out there comes back to you so why not be more positive?