Confused, angry, irritated, help!

[kellcast]

I dated this man for 4 months. I've never had a good relationship, but with him, it was different. He respected me more than any other man had in the past. The first couple months were a complete love fest and we were both so incredibly enamored with one another. I have to admit that we did move a little fast, both psychically and emotionally. I attempted putting the brakes on some of the words being thrown into the air, but he "meant" everything he said and I fell head over heels for it. Honestly, it was a very mature relationship and he was a really good man, until things changed. All of a sudden, this shift came about and he was slowly inching himself farther and farther away. For a while, I tried not to read into it and did my own thing, let him have his space, and stayed busy. The more I never heard from him, the more unhappy I became though and so one night, I approached him (in person) and maturely said "why don't we just be friends?"..he actually told me he was proud of me for being so mature and good with my words, though he said he was shocked and didn't want us to break up. He said that he's just busy, but "knows I'm the one for him" and that he "loves me" and knows "it will work". We end up working things out. 3 days later..back to square 1. He has disappeared and completely stops communicating with me. I ring him up to ask if he wants to grab dinner and he responds with, "i don't know"..heart broken. I ended things right there. He somewhat agreed on the breakup with me, but at the same time was saying, that things were just busy and he wants us to work and he's going to prove it to me..end.

A couple weeks later, he texts me. A cryptic text reading "i've been wanting to text you, but didn't feel like you wanted to hear from me"
I did not feed into that line and just replied with a friendly hello.

A week later, I cave in and text him and again...it's like I don't exist.

I'm so confused and aggravated. I feel like he is TRYING to string me along and I'm just not having it. I'm so angry that he would even try to pull that when we are both grown ass adults.

What do I do now? I know I don't want to speak with him currently, but what happens if I hear from him? Am I friendly (remember, he is a nice guy, just VERY confused) or do I ignore him?

Thanks <3

[McRich01]

I dated this man for 4 months. I've never had a good relationship, but with him, it was different. He respected me more than any other man had in the past. The first couple months were a complete love fest and we were both so incredibly enamored with one another. I have to admit that we did move a little fast, both psychically and emotionally. I attempted putting the brakes on some of the words being thrown into the air, but he "meant" everything he said and I fell head over heels for it. Honestly, it was a very mature relationship and he was a really good man, until things changed. All of a sudden, this shift came about and he was slowly inching himself farther and farther away. For a while, I tried not to read into it and did my own thing, let him have his space, and stayed busy. The more I never heard from him, the more unhappy I became though and so one night, I approached him (in person) and maturely said "why don't we just be friends?"..he actually told me he was proud of me for being so mature and good with my words, though he said he was shocked and didn't want us to break up. He said that he's just busy, but "knows I'm the one for him" and that he "loves me" and knows "it will work". We end up working things out. 3 days later..back to square 1. He has disappeared and completely stops communicating with me. I ring him up to ask if he wants to grab dinner and he responds with, "i don't know"..heart broken. I ended things right there. He somewhat agreed on the breakup with me, but at the same time was saying, that things were just busy and he wants us to work and he's going to prove it to me..end.

A couple weeks later, he texts me. A cryptic text reading "i've been wanting to text you, but didn't feel like you wanted to hear from me"
I did not feed into that line and just replied with a friendly hello.

A week later, I cave in and text him and again...it's like I don't exist.

I'm so confused and aggravated. I feel like he is TRYING to string me along and I'm just not having it. I'm so angry that he would even try to pull that when we are both grown ass adults.

What do I do now? I know I don't want to speak with him currently, but what happens if I hear from him? Am I friendly (remember, he is a nice guy, just VERY confused) or do I ignore him?

Thanks <3

Sorry to hear about your situation,

It sounds to me as if it just isn't going to work, He's in two minds focusing on balancing his life and trying to please you in so much words, The whole 'Lets just be friends' will never work after a break up, Its just a way of holding onto false hope, Ex Lovers can't be true friends, Not at least each other is 100% over each other, Otherwise you're just prolonging your pain !

Now then, I'd honestly recommend ignoring from now on wards, No Contact is really the only solution to truly getting over someone.

You sound like you have your head screwed on, Very intelligent to, If he's a 'Nice Guy' then you must have been a great girl to have him ! In my eyes hold out for someone to catch you, Someone who can give you there 100%, Someone who makes you there priority and not an option !

Hope this helps,

Wish you all the best ! Heartbreak sucks unfortunately, But you'll be stronger at the end.

[kellcast]

McRich01,

Thank you for the great advice! Though, I have to say, I believe (in the right time) exes can be friends. If you have both moved on and there are no hard feelings, then sure, give the friendship a go. I used to be immature after a breakup and cut them off completely (some with good reason), but this time, as I've gotten older, I don't want to look at an ex and NOT want them in my life. If they are a good person, then I'm down for giving it a shot.

Anyways, I actually heard from him tonight. A random text asking me if I knew that a movie we went and saw together (AND LOVED!) was out on DVD. I didn't respond. He's not stupid, he knows I know the movie is out. I feel like he's trying to be manipulate and after that last bout of confusing texts, I have nothing to respond with. I'm stronger than giving in to a manipulative text.

McRich01, again, thank you for the advice and the kind words.

[smackie9]

If a man plays games, stop fooling yourself and get the F uck out of the relationship, because you most definitely deserved a real man that will treat you with honesty and respect. You are being manipulated...and for him being too busy....most likely he is dating someone else or he failed to tell you he is married.

I'm sorry that I don't have kind words..I'm not the type to sugarcoat You deserve a real man! not some jackass.

[kellcast]

No hate here. I understand what you're saying. I know he isn't married, but I can't say I know he isn't dating anyone else. That thought has come across my mind, but I choose not to dwell on it. We aren't together now, so what he's doing is none of my business, and vice versa.

[Lovehelper]

yes stop it before it gets too messy.