Emergency - This is serious - Help

[blackiesharley]

(For background, please read my thread here from a few months ago titled 'Should I stay or should I go?' I think it's on page three.)

She's had an emotional melt-down.

It's 2:30 am right now. She's been up for almost 24 hours (no drugs or alcohol, that's not her problem) extremely depressed and constantly talking about methods of suicide. "I just want to die" she says. "If you love me you'll help me do it."

She's stopped seeing her shrink (not that that was helping much) she's on no meds, refuses to take them, refuses to seek help. I called the sucide prevention hotline tonight but she won't talk to them. I even thought about calling 911 but there's no actual acute emergency at this very moment and probably the most they can do is take her for 72 hour observation somewhere. I've thought about a Pastor or a Rabbi, but she won't talk to them. She just wants to stay in bed all day in a darkened room.

I'm a smart, strong guy who can handle almost everything but I've never dealt with anything like this before. I can't help someone who doesn't want help. I can't throw her out, I love her, but she doesn't love herself.

I don't know what to do, I'm desperate. Meanwhile, I'm keeping a close eye on her, and have even hidden the kitchen knives.

How do you help someone who refuses ANY help???? Advice PLEASE.

[schueys_girl]

god mate i really dont know what to say, you seem to have tried all the things i would suggest. The only other thing i can think of sitting with her in the darkened room, holding her hand, stroking her hair and comforting her. Try and talk to her, say things like 'i dont want you to die, i love you and want you with me' etc and try and find out the main problems she is having. I think just sitting with her mite help at this point.

Sorry i dont have any real solutions or help, but i feel for you and hope it all turns out ok xxxx

[blackiesharley]

god mate i really dont know what to say, you seem to have tried all the things i would suggest. The only other thing i can think of sitting with her in the darkened room, holding her hand, stroking her hair and comforting her. Try and talk to her, say things like 'i dont want you to die, i love you and want you with me' etc and try and find out the main problems she is having. I think just sitting with her mite help at this point.

Sorry i dont have any real solutions or help, but i feel for you and hope it all turns out ok xxxx

Thanks, but I've tried that. Her answer is "I love you but I love death more, I'll be at peace." How do I answer that? I'm at my wits end here, in the next room obviously on the net. Hopefully, she's gone to sleep. I don't know what to do.

[misombra]

she needs help. if she's attempting suicide then i think you should do what you need to do to get her into the hospital where people who are experienced in these matters can handle it or at least help you handle it. if everything is calm now then try to reason with her.

[Laguna]

I've dealt with a girl like this before. If you read my background thread, I forgot what's it's called..but anyways... My ex tried committing suicide. Just watch her and wait for her to fall asleep. Make sure she gets a LONG sleep and wakes up from natual waking-up, not loud noises, etc. When she wakes up, tell her how you feel and tell her how she needs to take medicine to help her. If she refuses, get a physciatrist to come over. Explain to her how you love her and if she would die you wouldnt know what to do and explain how she is everything in the world to you. You sound like you really love this girl. I was in the same situation and I really loved that girl as well, but the relationship ended up dead in the future anyhow --- anyways...just do that and let me know what happened ^

[blackiesharley]

I've dealt with a girl like this before. If you read my background thread, I forgot what's it's called..but anyways... My ex tried committing suicide. Just watch her and wait for her to fall asleep. Make sure she gets a LONG sleep and wakes up from natual waking-up, not loud noises, etc. When she wakes up, tell her how you feel and tell her how she needs to take medicine to help her. If she refuses, get a physciatrist to come over. Explain to her how you love her and if she would die you wouldnt know what to do and explain how she is everything in the world to you. You sound like you really love this girl. I was in the same situation and I really loved that girl as well, but the relationship ended up dead in the future anyhow --- anyways...just do that and let me know what happened ^

It's getting worse. She was better for a few days after my first post and now it's all started up again. She refuses help. She says she loves me but loves death more. She's VERY sick but I don't know what to do....I just don't know.....Sometimes I wish she WAS an alcoholic, seems simple compared to this. Drink, pass out. But mental illness? God give me strength...

[Junket]

Seems like at this point, after going on for this long, she's definitely calling out for help. Despite the fact she's refusing it.

If a person is really gonna commit suicide, they do it. I had a step father that got in her kind of condition, he even attempted, but the fact he didn't was a sign that he didn't really want to, afterall, it only takes one bullet, and it's not like guns are hard get a hold of (he tried to overdose).

I feel for ya, and hope everything gets better.

[blackiesharley]

Seems like at this point, after going on for this long, she's definitely calling out for help. Despite the fact she's refusing it.

If a person is really gonna commit suicide, they do it. I had a step father that got in her kind of condition, he even attempted, but the fact he didn't was a sign that he didn't really want to, afterall, it only takes one bullet, and it's not like guns are hard get a hold of (he tried to overdose).

I feel for ya, and hope everything gets better.

Frasbee, I hope you are right that it's a cry for help, but she admatelty refuses any help. I too have always heard that people who really want to do it don't talk about it, but the Sucide Prevention Hot Line that I spoke to said that even talk, especially this volume of talk, must be taken seriously. They kept saying 'just put her on the phone,' but she refused. You do bring up a good point...She has a car and some money. If she wanted to buy a gun, it wouldn't be hard to do, especially here in L.A. where you can buy one on almost every street corner, and with a clean record like hers, you can buy legitimally at a gun store. She tried it once (before we met) with (she says) 100 Zanax pills and a bottle of Jack Daniels and survived. For a small girl ('5"5 -110 lbs) I find that a little hard to believe as that should kill a moose.

We were planing a trip East next week to meet my family. I'm sorry but I'm going to have to cancel. I cannot fathom the Hell of being on a plane with her like this for five hours, much less her screaming about sucide at three AM at my Brothers house. Another problem is that it's getting me down and making me physically sick. If I get down, I'm no good to her or anyone else.

Like I mentioned, I've dealt with druggies and alcoholics in the past and that seems simple by comparison. This morning she's asleep (she was up all night) and I'm wondering what the mood will be when she awakens. This is heavy....

[toto]

I really feel for you mate, but cant really offer any proven advice! My Ex went through depression and there where times when it built up and built up and she would be going crazy and pulling at her hair in fits of tears.

What i found helped was when she had calmed down i would run her baths, and light candles to relx her. Usually in my situation she would feel a bit better in the morning. In the long run i tried to get her to do exercise, even just going for walks, because the energy exercise gives helps you feel more alive.

This must be such a stressfull time for you both but i hope things work out.

........It might be worth looking into the type of anti depressent your grilfriend was taking. I dont know many details but there are cases when paitents have been wrongly perscribed and even some of the drugs used have been linked to suicide.
You could look on the net for more info or talk to a someone who might know.