Is there something wrong with me?

[scott green]

Is there something wrong with me?

Couple of years ago I pulled this chick with no arms. Went back to her place and really gave her a good hard shagging. Im talking about from behind, cock in her asshole, pulling on her hair as I piledrived her asshole. Then, right before I'm about to cum, I just coughed up a huge bit of phlegm and spat it right on her back. She turned round surprised and asked "what was that?" and I just replied "it was just my sweat, baby, just my sweat"

My question is this : is there something wrong with me?*

I mean, I dont really believe in this whole sex addict bullshit, but I sometimes think there might be something deeply ****ed in my head.*

A lot of the time I can be pretty numb*when it comes to life and other people's feelings. Like, when im at a funeral I just think of funny stuff, even my own grandmothers funeral, I just kept thinking how funny it would be to kick over her coffin and watch her fall out on her ass, or how funny it would be to paint her face up like a clown. I just sometimes think that thoughts like that cant be normal.

Anyone know why I think the way I do? This is a serious question BTW

[scott green]

Also, when I was a kid my father was kinda abusive. I dont mean sexually. He just used to beat on me a lot, remember going to school with black eyes and a lot of bruises and a bust nose sometimes. He also beat on my mom and smash her head off Walls. He also raped my younger sister. But I wasn't molested or anything. He also broke my grandmother's jaw one time, but i never had broken bones. Anyways the day he died I was glad, and if I believed in Hell Id hope he was toasting his ass down there. Anyways, it's not like it left me a basket case or nothing, I'm normally the life and soul of the party. But I don't know if that's got anything to do with how I can feel so detached sometimes with people around me, that I don't even care about them half the time?

[BroghamZvatox]

I really do believe that your father could be the source of this violent disposition.

Contrary to popular belief humans are not naturally violent, if anything it is quite the contrary.

I had a friend a few years ago who was raised without the slightest exposure to any television program or film...therefore she had never in her life encountered a single instance of violence. At the age of 18 her parents divorced and at around the same time she was introduced to the television set. Following the first violent film she watched, she could not complete the film as she threw up violently and wept throughout the entire thing--This continued for the next half dozen or so violent films she watched. Eventually she would overcome the difficulties and now she's obsessed with action films.

I will not hesitate to say that there is something wrong with you. But the fact that you recognize that you have a problem, is the first step to addressing it.

I had my share of obsessions with violence in young age, but I overcome those primitive dispositions when I came to develop a greater appreciation of the human species. That respect for the individual human comes in hand with the understanding that we are all equal, that we are single species, and that it is of great importance that we learn to live together in peace.

You would not be able to treat anyone in that manner if you did not think that you were superior.

[MaidenMinx]

Dude, (assuming this is a serious thread), one thing I've generally found is if you have to ask 'Is something wrong with me?' the answer is generally yes.

If you want to develop the ability to connect, seek some counselling. It sounds to me that your upbringing has left you believing it's safer not to let anyone near you. Caring leads to being hurt and you're protecting yourself.

You said in another thread you want kids. Please seek counselling before procreating. As humans we find it very difficult to not become our parents and it takes conscious effort to make sure you don't make the same mistakes.

[scott green]

Actually I wouldnt say i'm violent in the slightest, actually quite the opposite. But I am very filthy when having sex, anal, pissing, ass licking, play piercing, corsetry etc. I guess what you said is true, I dont tend to go for girls where I cant form any sort of long lasting attachment to. I tend to let girls ask me out / and date girls who stalk me, as apposed to looking for girls I like for myself. None of the girls I go with are even close to my league, but I dont really care, I seem to connect better with girls who have had abusive lives like mine. Not that I think I am ugly or anything, far from it. Also, the feelings of superiority, I get them, like I often think of other people are worthless pieces of human filth walking around in their own little bubbles, oblivious to what life is like all around them, and find most human beings pathetic. I do know that when I have kids I will never even raise a finger to them, and bring them up right, and NEVER subject them to what my alcoholic scumbag of a father did to us. I dont drink alcohol, or gamble or any of the shit my father done, because I hate him with every ounce of my being, and sometimes wish he were still alive now that I'm grown up, so I could **** his life over the way he did to us. Sometimes I think i'm just normal, and normal is just being the way I am, and hating the world for being the way it is, but I dont want to come across as some whiney little angsty cumstain, because thats not me at all. I'm actually quite outgoing, and as I said my friends would all attest that I am always the life and soul and livewire of the party.

But sometimes I do think It's wrong the way I think.

[MaidenMinx]

For a lot of people, sex can be an outlet for urges they choose not to express in other circumstances, so technically, yes you are violent. I mention this because kids have a habit of bringing out the worst in us ( and the best but that's not what we're discussing)

Personally, I'm trying every day not to be my mother (and some days failing miserably and other days succeeding beautifully). For me the difference is if I yell or insult, I apologise and hug him afterwards telling him how much I love him. Not something I heard or got.

Normal is relative. For people subjected to your type of upbringing you are probably perfectly normal.

I do stand by my suggestion of counselling. You've experienced some shit that has left you with a slightly warped thought process. If you'd like to get past your feelings of superiority (which will make long term relationships easier, and if you want kids I assume you want long term) you'll need some help.

Oh and did you mean to imply that damaged women are less attractive or inferior?

[scott green]

Oh and did you mean to imply that damaged women are less attractive or inferior?

No, not really. I actually really liked the girl with no arms, she was bloody gorgeous. But she was BORING AS HELL and really DUMB. I mean, if she had been slightly intelligent I would have dated her for a very long time. I'm not sure if I'd have wanted to start a family with her though, if she had intelligence, as I'm not sure if being born like that is genetic, and I know its not a nice thing to say but I really wouldnt want to bring a child like that into this cruel world with schools and bullying being the way they are. Guess thats another one of my problems, I overthink everything

[MaidenMinx]

Over thinking can be a good thing, especially when it comes to bringing a child into this world. BUT all the planning in the world can't prevent all disabilities. Hubby and I both appear normal and neither of us are diagnosed with a disability yet out son has Autism. Just saying that all the planning in the world won't prevent everything.

[rafterman]

Atleast you would get a blow job as a minimum because well a hand job is definately not on the menu.

[IndiReloaded]

Well, this explain things. Have you tried counselling Scott? Assuming your story is true (I keep in mind youre an entertainer), you've seen some real crap in your life. You must be furious with your mother. Most sane people would be.

[scott green]

Well, this explain things. Have you tried counselling Scott? Assuming your story is true (I keep in mind youre an entertainer), you've seen some real crap in your life. You must be furious with your mother. Most sane people would be.

I was for a long long time, she never took me and my sister out that situation, and even took my dads side during the rape investigation, claiming my sister was lying, even though the cops found all those pictures he took. In the end I just had to get my head around the fact that my mom was so scared of him she thought he would find us and kill us all if we left, either that or she was the type who thought you stayed with your husband no matter what he did, and me and my sis were afterthoughts. She even covered up for him when my gran was dying, and he broke her jaw after a row. I find that pretty deplorable that he'd actually strike a 90 year old woman in the face that hard, let alone his own mother. You have to let these things go though or they swallow you up and take part of your light away, so your just an empty void. I have no intention of letting that swallow me up though. Because life's too short. That's why I fight damn hard to focus on the positives in my life

[IndiReloaded]

That's why I fight damn hard to focus on the positives in my life

Its too bad its a fight for you. However, I can imagine much worse outcomes from your upbringing than some sexually odd preferences. We are all products of our environment in some way, good or bad. We're all on a continuum. There are no experts on life.