Need Help!

[MVPlaya]

why u ask...ok ill explain it as best i can...i wasnt always like this...she turned me into how i am now...all the shit she promised me...made me really attached to her...

This is more a sign of your desperation than her attractiveness. Remember, this entire time I'm asking you whats making this girl so attractive, what makes her special, all you're telling me is that you want her because she's attracted to you. So what? There are many women in this world who will be attracted to you, simply dumping all your feelings and emotions unto them will not help you get closer to them one bit. The very fact is that you saw someone who was attracted to you, and you thought to yourself: 'oh my god, someone likes me, I may never have this chance again, please please please.' All she did was spout some empty rhetoric. Understand that you're not attracted to her, you just really want a mate and the chemicals and survival/mating instinct in your body decided to lock unto her.

so im to the point that i dont want anyone else...i have really deep feelings for her...

You don't have really deep feelings. This is what I'm telling you. You don't know her. You haven't met her, you're not of similar age, you don't know whether she has any brains, what she is like socially, how you guys would interact... nothing. You simply don't know this girl. All you know is that some girl who was 17 years old said some stuff about marriage over AOL Instant Messenger. Thats all.

and if u saw the stuff she wrote and said to me u would be like me too...

This is where I need to explain the art of the scam, scam-artists do this, and people in the dating realm do too:
Whenever you want to fool a person, remember that that person always subconsciously knows he/she is being fooled, the key to being succesful is making them want to believe it. If they really want to believe that that $30 tagless TJ Maxx jacket you have in your hand is genuine Versace, they will believe it, as long as you show the tiniest amount of credibility to allow them to latch on to.

In your situation, you just really wanted to believe that everything she said was real because you have Fear-Of-Loss, you're afraid that the second you say no its all over and you will never have this chance again. Bullshit. There's going to be lots of other women out there.

i feel like she promised all this stuff to me and now is betraying everything she ever said...i mean if she didnt mean everything...why the hell would she continually send me letter after letter convincing me she loved me...im just extremely confused

Confused is good, this means you're wondering what happened and now you're going to think about how to change things. Every guy has to get his heart broken once, it helps keep things in perspective. What this girl was thinking or wanted to do is not important, she's a random 17-year old in another state that you will never be in contact with ever again, block her e-mail and aim address and get it over with. What you need to focus on now is why you latch all your feelings on to a girl this quickly. The simple reason for that is desperation. Start looking around you, there's plenty of reasons to be happy, and there are plenty of traits you have that attract others to you, work on these traits, and get rid of that desperation.

[Pondman]

You sound like a stalker... Get some Pro help!!!!!!

[BrOkEn_SoUl]

ure absolutely right Mvplaya i kno im desperate...but its not like i went out looking for this to happen...it just did...she came onto me and i just accepted everything she was telling me...i was skeptical at first...and she knew that...so after months and months i finally started believing her...i always told her that this was too good to be true...and i guess it looks that way...ive never had someone be so cold to me like this and i just keep saying to myself...how the **** could she do this to me...i treated her very well...never had an argument nothing bad at all...my sadness is turning into anger about her...and im very close to go off on her and stop dealing with all of her bullshit...and when it is very clear to me that this is over then i will move on..but until then i will see what happens in the weeks to come...thanks for your opinions

[confusedsoul]

Hey, I am not in great shape myself to give u any advice.. But u know what, all these people are saying the TRUTH AND ONLY TRUTH.
You said you will see what happens in weeks(!) to come.. What would happen is you would go insane by then..believe me. I have been through, the same dependancy and feeling of being nothing w/o the one u love and the endless hope of things getting straight. Guess what?????? ITS BULLSHIT. I have been thru it and i know its bullshit! As someone said u have half of this planet to explore if u can get out of this current rut.. And for that u need to take efforts.
First try to stop thinking bout her....I know its difficult, but whatever, just go out, get together with friends do something to keep urself occupied with something all the time. By giving few more weeks to her you will be DOING GREAT INJUSTICE TO URSELF. As u said u were not like this, so u def deserve better and you would have it...

Good luck man and cheer up

[schueys_girl]

Honestly man, get out the house...enjoy your life, stop sitting in front of a computer and barricading yourself from the real world. Computers should be an addition to someones life...not thier actual life. What you are doing is not being social, its being dependent on a monitor and keyboard and a mouse to make you happy, instead of going out and doing it yourself.

What the hell are you wanting to get married for at the age of 20?! And to a girl you have never met?! Mate, for all u know she could be 14, she could be 30, she could have 2 heads, she could be married...i could go on and on and on with what she could be lying about. And therefore this comes to my point that she was playing you...after attention, wanted to have a lad chasing after her...so she plays on your insecurities and feeds you all this crap about getting married and wanting your kids...

...and you must have insecurities about being alone and getting lonely etc because all the lads i know would run a mile if a girl they had known for 5 months started talking marriage and babies...let alone a girl they hadnt even met!

You said u were not like this before u started speaking ot her...but how do u let someone manipulate you through a computer screen? You need to look at yourself here and go get yourself some professional help. What you have here is an infatuation, something which covers up the unhappiness you are feeling inside yourself. While you are concentrating on this you do not need to work on you.

[Junket]

Hey, I think this dude is finally comin' around. Slowly but surely.

[BabyLamb]

> (..which isnt much because her parents refuse to let her talk to me at all because they hate me for no apparent reason) she tells me she still means everything she ever told me and she still loves me....she says she needs a break from constantly getting in trouble over me to concentrate on school so she can graduate.
Broken Soul, her parents think you're a distraction to her, that's all. I don't think they *hate* you, but they are being parents and screening her prospective mates. If she's getting in trouble over you, her parents won't like that!