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Thread: in need of useful advice

  1. #1
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    in need of useful advice

    Ok, so, I'll try to be as short and straightforward as I can be.

    There are 2 girls, let's say their names are A and B. They've been best friends for years and still spend a lot of time together, every day.

    I have been head over heels in love with A since I first met them(about a year ago), and still am . However, she has a bf and she never seemed even a bit interested in me. However, B (her best friend) is obviously in love with me. She has asked me out several times and she is really nice, but I am not in any way attracted to her, so I politely rejected her, and it seems like it hit her pretty hard. The problem is, no matter how hard I try to get over A , I can't do it. I try going out, meeting new people, trying to find some girl that I will find attractive in any way, but it doesn't happen, no way. I keep telling myself that I need to get over this, but at the same time I know I want her and nobody else.

    Since I rejected her best friend, is there any possibility that she would ever give me a chance? Or should I just keep trying to get over it? I am becoming horribly desperate about this.

  2. #2
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    I am afraid of you don't have any chance about that girl, but the reason isn't that you rejected her friend. The problem is that she obviously isn't interested in you, and her feelings are very unlikely to change.

    So, you had better apply a 'zero contact': try not to see or talk to that girl. It is very hard, I know, but at the moment you are unable to forget her, so you need give to see her, in order to be able to forget her and find someone else.

    And, above all, try to be realistic: I am afraid of that girl doesn't like you, at least not in a romantic way. It is hard, but I am afraid of that is the situation.

  3. #3
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    Can't really do much about seeing here once in a while, since we actually work in the same building. But we haven't really talked all that much in quite a long time (well, not much ever) , and even now when we do, it's never more than a "hi" and a smile

  4. #4
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    If she's had a boyfriend for a while, she obviously wants him and not you. Why don't you try getting out of this triangle for a bit? A and B aren't the only two girls in the world that exist. There's C and D and E and F and G.... ;-)
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] I love him... but GOD he pisses me off sometimes

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by aeses View Post
    no matter how hard I try to get over A , I can't do it. I try going out, meeting new people, trying to find some girl that I will find attractive in any way, but it doesn't happen, no way. I keep telling myself that I need to get over this, but at the same time I know I want her and nobody else.
    I'm going through the exact same thing you are but even worse. I was dating this girl and she provided me tons of chances to make a move but I couldn't do it out of shyness and insecurity. Makes me sick to my stomach that she doesn't want me anymore and I have no desire for any other woman but her. I still miss her strongly and get butterflies thinking about her.

    You need to stop wasting energy on her because it's only going to drain you and make you feel really desperate and hopeless. If there's one thing that helped me most, it was reading about the phenomenon called one-itis. For some reason, just reading about it eliminated most of my symptoms and I think it might really help you too. The key is realizing she is not as special as you think.

    Here's a good start from Google.

    [url=http://www.pualingo.com/pua-definitions/one-itis/]Oneitis | PUA Lingo[/url]
    [url=http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=oneitis]Urban Dictionary: oneitis[/url]

    What if you had never met girl A? What if you grew up in a different part of town? Once you realize how silly it is to get bent out of shape over a girl you will feel great relief I promise. Don't let your well-being and happiness EVER depend on a girl. Even if you did score a relationship this mindset would inevitably doom you to failure. After all, relationships are NEVER supposed to be the #1 priority in your life, even if you're married.
    Last edited by ksmit; 18-10-11 at 04:26 AM.

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