Im lonely

[jtom]

I am 25. About two years ago I lost my job in the northeast and had to relocate to live with my parents in the southeast. Shortly after this transition, I decided to pursue medical school. Since then I have worked in this field; I work almost everyday and work in emergency care- long and unusual hours. I am new to the area and I work 1-2 hours from where I live. As a result, I have not made any friends. I never go out and basically my life is work and being alone at home. I am a fairly outgoing guy but given the fact I have no friends, even guy friends, it makes it difficult to meet new people. I would give anything to have just one friend. I am well liked at work and all the girls love me but they are all in relationships or married (I dont work with any guys).

A few days every month I go through cycles where I just dont want to talk to anyone, including my parents. These feelings of lonliness is coupled to the fact that I have never had a gf or been on a date. Throughout my life I have attracted girls but they are doing so innapropriately (married) and I obviously dont allow anything to occur or they are attracted to me but dont want to pursue anything further. I try to keep my head up, I am in extremely good shape, healthy diet, have a strong education and a bright future but it doesnt make it easy when I am never given a chance and if im not working I am alone.

Im writing this because this past weekend was very unusual. I had been dreading going to my brothers wedding a few states away. Well the wedding turned out to be extremely good. I met this wonderful girl and we talked and danced all night and the night before the ceremony. Obviously I knew I had to go back home and that I would never see her again (she will be moving soon) but I got her number/email and said I would contact her to stay in touch. So I got back home yesterday night, back to the routine of being alone or working. I guess the huge difference from this weekend put things into perspective for me, the last time I went out was for my work christmas party. I think my defense mechanism is to totally consume my time with work to keep my mind off of the fact I have no social life.

Any advice?

Thank you

[TheAlliance]

I'm in the exact same situation man...

[Miss_winter]

Hi there,

What about high school/college friends? Maybe you can ring them up and ask them to hang out.

[Gypsybell]

You just have to put yourself out there. If you dwell inward there is no one to talk to but yourself and that's not healthy(as you already know) just writing your feelings here is a good start. And it is not impossible to find empathetic and compatible connection online. Try the dating sites. Any port in a storm, my friend. As a nurse I know med students/ dr's have killer workloads and very little time for their personal life. But they usually have a pretty close bond with others in their year group. (not clear if you are still a student ) but you need to put your hand out man, and give friendship until it returns to you, don't wait for it to ferret you out. Take measures to get more relaxation time (maybe move closer to work?) or you'll burn out . Keep in touch with that girl from the wedding. Any loving feeling is worth having from any distance. Loneliness is horrible and no one is exempt from it. Look around and find a newcomer and try making them feel welcome, invite them for a drink.You need to spend quality time with people to form bonds, they'll stay strangers or mere aquaintances if you don't. You get what you give in this world so don't be afraid to give. I wish you well.