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Thread: Ex is sending mixed signals

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    3

    Ex is sending mixed signals

    My ex and I are still hanging out and sleeping together after we broke up 2.5 months ago after 6 years of living together.

    We've talked about "us" and possibly getting back together, but he says he needs time and that he's confused. I recently became really social again recently and going out, having drinks, etc. and the last few years of us dating I was a little depressed and down in the dumps and was anti social. I was tired of being like that and after we broke up, I changed and returned to being social like I was years ago. This has thrown him for a loop and he says he loves this side of me.

    Here's the kicker - he likes to drink and whenever we are hanging out, going out or with his coworkers or friends, he holds my hand, tells me he misses me over and over again, says he loves me, that I'm so beautiful the entire night. He also still tells others that I'm still his Ex and still tells me he thinks we might be able to make it work but he needs time. He also mentioned to me the other day that he could have kids with me and do that whole marriage and family thing with me.

    I know he needs time, but I'm trying to figure him out and what he wants, thinks, feels, etc. especially since sometimes he says all of these things when he drinks.

    Any insight?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    68
    I think he just needs time to figure out if it's going to work. If you lived together for 6 years and have only been broken up for 2.5 months I don't think he has ulterior motives, just needs time. Maybe at like 6 months if he still wont' commit you could question whether he's stringing you along just in case

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    3,849
    Tell him it's fine if he needs time, and you will still see him, but you will also start seeing others since you've already started moving on and bettering yourself, and you don't want to slow that progress. Start pulling away, and he'll realize what he's letting go, just watch.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Posts
    1,517
    It sounds like you fell into a situation a lot of people do - you lose yourself in the relationship you are in. Of course your ex likes you now, as you are back to being the person that he fell in love with in the first place. However, that doesn't mean that he is sure that you won't change again if you get back together. And that is probably what is holding him up.

    I would suggest that you stop sleeping with him until you get back together. There is no need for him to really make up his mind while you are still giving him sex.

    And I agree with BackUp that you should not limit yourself and start seeing others as well. Not even to show your ex what he is missing, but because you are free to do so and maybe you will find someone you like even more.

    Good luck.
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