My Life Mistake and Life Lesson - WORST ****UP EVER

[King Zarathu]

Oh yes, and now I return to the forum after my long absense. I've been very busy, but as of right now I feel like I'm ready to DIE. I feel like... like shit. Oh yes, like shit. Like a steaming pile of shit so huge it would require four dogs, an unlimited supply of food, and a 2 months. That's how much shit I feel like. 6'2" 150 lbs. of SHIT!!! SHIT SHIT SHIT!

Let me explain...

I was once in love. Love, a chemical reaction in my brain so microscopic..has made an impact on my life that I will never forget. This woman that I've decided to love will always be part of me and my memories in life. Lord, she was perfect.

She was so perfect that I actually concidered spending the rest of my life with her. How much of a stupid ass I am! Blinded by love, my Leo, controlling, over-protective mother**** of a self thought that I would find this one person at age 14. Once again, refer to the main idea of the first paragraph: SHIT!

By the way, the word "shit" will be used several times in the future of this thread.

Every detail about her was perfect for me in my mind. The way her hands had wrinkled on the insides, the tint of her skin, the way she giggles when I tickle her feet, and..her ass.

Oh yes, the delight of the female body that attracts me to a degree that I will never be able to express into words..the ASS.

As soon as I got a hold of it in my hands, I was dead and in the afterlife..Heaven.


But anyways, enough of this ridiculous humor. Because I am in tears at the moment and sneaking on the computer because I am unable to live with myself due to extreme guilt, I will continue on to the main point.


For a good 6 months now, I have been in love with another woman. Love is very powerful indeed. My admittance that I have emotionally cheated on a girl that means most everything to me has scarred me for generations and generations to come in my future lives.

And why?! WHY?! Why did I allow myself to love another? Because of the simple reason that my girlfriend is not sexually satisfying.

Now, I'm sure you all must be thinking, "that isn't love! It's all about the pussy, isn't it, you sick ****!"

Quite the contrary, it was the pussy that I cared about least (please remember, I love pussy more than the ass due to it's Cotton Candy flavor) because of the following reason:

IT WAS 4 ****ING MONTHS BEFORE I GOT A HUG FROM HER

Concider that for a moment. No, literally, I wish for you to sit in your chairs and think what it would be like to date another human being WITH emotions for a whole 4 months without any physical contact of any sort. How hard on my part, knowing that my friends got oral sex within the first 6 months of dating.

The last sentence probably leads you all to another statement: "You shouldn't worry about what your friends do, but worry about yourself and go at your own pace." Yeah, well... suck my dick. Wait, no, I'm afraid that is impossible! I haven't known you all for 83 years! It would be impossible for you to even TOUCH my penis! Not to mention.. I am a.. BOY. A living BOY. Oh, my, goodness..

Now, I have my mind set on dating this other woman who is as well my age and has the same sexual limitations that I do (being anything other than vaginal intercourse (anal sex as well, yes)).

Why are these my limits? I am male, I'm not supposed to have limits! The reason being that I do have these Satanic creatures that I am forced against my will to listen to and live with called PARENTS. They are very intrusive and ask me quite frequently about my virginity's existance and who beholds of this precious invaluable object I couldn't give a **** less about.

However, we are getting off topic.

So let's summarize what you have learned so far about the current situation while you sit lifelessly at your computer with your mouth open......shameful of you.

I'm trying to break up with my girlfriend of 11 and a half months because:
-I believe I can be happier with another
-I believe she is not ready for a relationship
-She is getting too attached to me

Oh, there is something NEW here! The THIRD statement. For those of you whom are unable to use proper vocabulary, THIRD means THREE. One, two, and..THREE!!! The THIRD statement was: She is getting too attached to me.

Let me explain: SHE IS DEPENDING ON ME FOR HAPPINESS!!!!

Without me, her life would be boring and lonely. She has 2 other guy friends, impossible for her to fall in love with another. Ever since she has fallen in love with me, she has cared more about making ME happy than making HERSELF happy. You understand now? If not, reread until your eyes pop out of your main sex organ: the brain. If so, good, I'm impressed that you got this far into the thread without being bored to ****ing tears.


Now, such large amount of writting for such a little problem..


I am unable to break up with my girlfriend because I still care about her. I am not in love, no, but her feelings mean more to me than anything in the world. If I could do it in a way that would be painless, I would. Her feelings.. oh.. to give you an idea:

I would donate my right-testacle for a technique to break up with her painlessly.

RIGHT NUT ON SALE!!!!

Most unfortunately, my nut will never sell. Too bad. Boo ****ing hoo.

Will anybody here to be the pleasure of giving me wonderful, life-changing advice before I drive myself to insanity?

Any would be greatly appreciated.

[sfalexi]

I would donate my right-testacle for a technique to break up with her painlessly.

Ain't gonna happen. And you realize that too.

Just make up your mind. You're coming up with reasons to break up. Sounds like (from this post) that you're ready to break up. You just have to do it. There's going to be pain. On both ends. But that's life. Good luck.

Alexi

[King Zarathu]

This is true, but do you think my reasons are.. justified or am I over-reacting to little things that shouldn't even matter?

[Junket]

Well you're one of the more level headed dudes on the forum so, I'm sure either way you go will be a pretty good decision. My opinion? I'd say break up, like we discussed, she's not at the same level of maturity as you, plus, if she really depends on you just to be happy, you'd probably be doin' her a favor by ridding her of her of this dependency.

Plus, if you're already having thoughts of breaking up, then damn it, you might as well. Shows you don't have faith in the relationship, and it'll deteriorate eventually anyway.

[King Zarathu]

Yeah. You're right man. See, the thing is, is that it's gonna be hard breaking up with her. Listening to her tears over the phone and how upset she's gonna be.. it's gonna **** with my head because I just care about her feelings that much.

[Junket]

One last post before I'm off to bed...
If you're that worried about her feelings, I suggest you break up with her either right before, or during the weekend, this way she'll have some time to herself where she won't have to worry so much about school and such.

[King Zarathu]

Good idea, and the less pain on her end the better.

[Laguna]

You could always sell your right nut to Tom Green. BTW: Just dump her ass and let her know you found someone else and that she wasn't good enough because of the fact that she never did anything (not only sexually, but everything else). Just go with that Jordan girl dude.

[King Zarathu]

wait.. did you just say...

you WHAT?!?!


helllllllll naw man. we just got past the point that i care waaay too much about her feelings man. the LAST thing i'm gonna tell her is that she wasn't good enough because she wouldn't blow me or whatever. that's.. dude that's.. that's gay!!

scrap that idea. although i do have my own script, it'll probably be the least painful

[knightlionheart]

Well i kinda like the saying, 'what she doesn't know, won't hurt her'!! Its ur call man, u'll definitely have to break her heart, or just be honest with her, and tell her u want some.....it doesn't have to be a lot at first and as long she's comfortable with it, then u can progress...many times girls don't like to make the moves, so that guys won't think they've done this b4, or they're 'fast' and stuff like that!! well good luck man!! U know how to turn a girl on, through touch right.....or do u need lessons on kino??

[jimbob]

Ouch.

Hang on a sec though:

IT WAS 4 ****ING MONTHS BEFORE I GOT A HUG FROM HER

<Gasp>... Shock! Horror! Oh god no hugs! You poor thing you must be so deprived *gets out violin*. Lol nah just kiddin but come on dude that bit doesn matter that much ([url]http://www.loveforum.net/t6020-known-each-other-for-too-long-lol.html[/url])

[King Zarathu]

<Gasp>... Shock! Horror! Oh god no hugs! You poor thing you must be so deprived *gets out violin*.

jimbob, I understand you're making a joke and all but this is something I'm really emotional about. The result: **** you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay yeah I got this email from her and I'm getting weak, yet I know myself I will be happier alone.

alright. i know that throughout our relationship i have made several mistakes. there is nothing i wouldnt give to take those back. every moment i spent away from you i miss you. im crazy about you. ive said alot of things, and there are alot of things ive done. i think in a way i have loved you for longer than i realized. there was a time when i wasnt sure, but in my heart i knew i was falling for you. i know that we have had alot of problems, and there are alot of things that would have broken adults up, let alone teenagers. i have learned so much from you. the past few weeks, i know i havent been as nice as i could be. i have been alittle overly dramatic and i could probably have shown you more affection. i wish so much that i could take that back, but i cant. the only i think i can do is ask you for your forgivness. from the moment i saw you i knew you were special. i know you now, and you are even more special than i could have possibly imagined. nothing would make me happier than to have you forgive me and to belive that this is not the end. as we have pulled through many fights...i hated them too...but we can pull through this. im not going to force you, i can only tell you that i cant love you as a friend. i will always love you as a friend and more. there will forever be a place in my heart. you are so special to me. i know i sound dependent, and i know you dont want me to be. i am 2 a certian extent...but i know in my heart i could pull through without you, the thing is, i dont want to. every moment i spend with you i love. if there was anything i could be doing right now i would be in your arms, if youll take me...
please forgive me, i am so sorry

truly makes me weak.. jesus christ. **** **** **** ****~!
she just came over today and.. well.. she was very very very very mean to me and didn't show me affection for shit. i know i'll be happier elsewhere, but what do I do about it?

she was on the phone, ****ing BEGGING me to stay with her. BEGGING!! it was like.. god damnit! i felt guilty. she said she wanted another chance. ****.

[Junket]

she said she wanted another chance.

Yeah but by this point it's pretty much final, you said it yourself you don't love 'er. Don't worry about feeling guilty, I'd think you were pretty ****ed up in the head if you didn't feel some kind of remorse. She'll get over it in time, and so will you.

[BlackRose]

Man. I have been telling you for months to call it off. I'm really sorry though. I wish I could tell you some way to break up with her that wont hurt either of you but that wont happen. There is no such "technique." The fact that she was so slow about things was an obvious turn off. I don't know if I would have lasted as long as you did. It was noble of you to stay with her and deal with it for that long. Just try to work on YOUR happiness now. That is ovbiously what is most important.

[abercromqt20]

it's like that seinfeld episode where george is talking about how it takes 3 tries b4 the break up sticks. you have to realize that any way you do it she is going to be hurt. but the fact is she will be less hurt now, than 6 months from now. besides you shouldn't have to be in a situation where you really don't have it in your heart to be. it's not fair to either of you. it will hurt like hell for both of you, but u will both learn from it. and you can find someone more mature that you can be happy with and maybe she will learn to appreciate what she has and not take it for granted. you both have the right to be happy in a relationship. you can't just stay with her for her sake. b/c you know that a month from now this breakup will enter your mind again. as it has been doing now for a long time. maybe from this she will learn to appreciate you and a few years down the line when she's mature enough you can try it again, or not. that's entirely up to you. never make that promise to her though. just know ur not a horrible person to want a sexual relationship with someone. i also know thats not the only reason you were in this relationship. i know you truely love this girl. otherwise you wouldn't care so much about making this easier on her. my advice for you is to make a clean break, which you know. but when you want to start dating again you need to be clear to the next girl that although it is not the most important, that sex is important to you. this way she knows up front what she's getting into. but you have to make sure to try your best to let her know that's not only what ur about. which may not always be easy. i say good luck to you, and let us know how it goes.