lost and confused. need your advice please!!!!

[JackieR]

I've posted here before and i just need some advice for my troubles. me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 months now and in the past 2 I've lost my feelings. like him touching me makes me sick. I don't have a reason for losing my feelings. he is an amazing man and i cant find one bad thing about him. he is so supportive of me right now and I've communicated with him on everything I'm feeling. he believes that we can still make it work and were going to counseling. (our first appointment is friday) he has a feeling that its anxiety and depression that is making me feel this way. my last relationship lasted for two years and when it ended i was miserable and depressed (i ended it) but it was so hard to do and i fought the feeling for a long time. and going into this new relationship i always had the fear of what happened in my pervious relationship would happen to this one. and now here we are and its happening again. I've had depression issues in my past and I'm not sure how anxiety works but could those things make you lose all feelings for your partner? and if so, can you make it work and get past it and go on to having a wonderful loving relationship? please help! I am 21 and he is 27. I really want to make it work and I don't want to lose him he has every quality i want! and he feels the same way too.

[smackie9]

Not everyone or every relationship lasts forever. Losing feelings for someone, doesn't mean there is something wrong with you, nor does there have to be something wrong with the relationship. Things can and do just come to an end....that you have a want for something new, or different. Usually this happens when there isn't enough compatability, or enough change to keep the relationship interesting for the long haul. Not all is at a loss tho. You both can try having a social life outside, separate from the relationship. You both also can try making new friends, meet new couples, try new things (together and separately) like taking dance lessons, scuba diving, hiking, rock climbing, things that challenge you, spend quality time together like when you both first started dating, with date nights together or even with friends. Personally I feel it's just boredom that is setting in, that you are getting too comfortable with each other, things are routine, and you feel like you are in a rut, which would make anyone depressed. So try these steps to making improvements in you life and your relationship before jumping into therapy.