Help me out, trying to move my relationship out of Broken Hearts Section

[tjtigers14]

Okay so we broke up after a year, she dated some guy for a bit and then we started talking again. Somehow in a blur of texts and hangouts, she broke up with him to be with me. Not for certain, but she wanted to try and so did I.

Now we are in some relationship gray zone trial period where we are going to be committed but not decide yet whether we are going to go full out. This includes sex too. So now I have to play the part of boyfriend and I'm not even the last guy who's dick she touched. Should I be mad about that?

How should I act during this period to help us end up together? Just any tips on how I should act would be greatly appreciated.

[smackie9]

Dude who knows. It is really unfair that she has put you in this situation. I would just talk out the issues on why you split up, then tell her it's on or you will walk, because if you give her all the control, you will lose.

[tjtigers14]

Yeah last night I wrote her a FB message (I know, sorta juvenile) and set a few rules about commitment and the future and I told her that if she agreed and wanted to do this, that she should come find me and kiss me today. I woke up to a kiss, but now she is being distant again! This keeps happening :p

[smackie9]

Talk it out with her dude. Don't let her get away with this sort of behaviour, you are not here to play games.

[tjtigers14]

But the issues she broke up with me in the first place really were largely attributed to me, and she just wants to take it slow. Should I be assertive about our relationship and like put my arm around her while we're on the couch and hold her hand? I did some of this the past week but I'm just wondering if I should play hard to get instead

[smackie9]

So what were the reasons? I can't give you proper advice unless I know why how where when.

[tjtigers14]

Being overly jealous, too angry when she didn't text back, starting fights all the time. I am now seeing a psychiatrist for BP1 and seeing her with another guy and not being able to do anything about it helped me mature in terms of thinking of her with other guys. At least I hope.

[smackie9]

I myself was in a abusive relationship. It's very hard to trust again after the way one is treated so I can see how she would be very leery about starting a relationship with you again. The only thing you can do is keep talking about it with her, ask her about how she feels, etc.