Have I cheated on my girlfriend?

[Greekniko23]

I've been in a relationship with a girl for a long time, and I care about her so much. We have a tough relationship because of our hectic schedules but somehow we make it work. The other issue is that she doesn't like to cuddle at all and she wants to take things incredibly slow when it comes to the physical part of our relationship. Anyway, I was hanging out with my best friend (who is a girl) and we were watching a movie on my couch. As the night went on we got closer and closer. At first she was messaging my hand and eventually we were holding hands and she was laying all over me. We cuddled for hours but did not kiss or have sex or anything like that. There were times when she would look in my eyes like she wanted to kiss me but I turned away to make sure she didn't. I feel so bad about the whole incident, but there is a part of me that is kinda satisfied because I've been lacking physical contact with my girlfriend, and it was nice to have a good cuddle with someone. So does it seem like I cheated on my girlfriend?

[strbrght]

I can see where you may feel satisfied or validated, but think of it this way...are you close enough with your woman and trust each other enough to openly tell her what went on? If not, you obviously seem to feel bad about it and afraid it would hurt her. So, in my opinion, anything that you know would hurt or something you wouldn't share would be cheating.

[Greekniko23]

I can see where you may feel satisfied or validated, but think of it this way...are you close enough with your woman and trust each other enough to openly tell her what went on? If not, you obviously seem to feel bad about it and afraid it would hurt her. So, in my opinion, anything that you know would hurt or something you wouldn't share would be cheating.

Well I'm most likely going to tell her what happened. I have to be honest and face the consequences. I deserve whatever I get.

[MerryH]

So does it seem like I cheated on my girlfriend?

Yeah, pretty much. You tried to justify it by saying that your girlfriend isn't meeting your needs or whatever, but that doesn't make what you did okay. If you're truly unsatisfied by your relationship, then you need to deal with it constructively instead of using someone else to fulfill you. Either break up with her or tell her that you have a problem with the physical part of your relationship.

I don't think telling her what happened will do you or her any favors. Take it as a sign that you need to either fix things or get out. I'm not saying you should be dishonest, but never, ever tell her all the details. All she needs to know is that there wasn't any kissing or sex, just some contact that shouldn't have happened. Leave it at that.

[Greekniko23]

I think the deeper question is, "Do I feel guilty about this?"

I think you should probably end your relationship because you're dissatisfied with how it's going. You might be happier with the girl you almost kissed. Why not give that a shot?

I feel terribly guilty about what happened. The thing is that I don't want to end the relationship. She's the most amazing person I know and we can spend hours together not doing anything and still have a good time. I have been going through some rough times lately and it's hard for my girlfriend to be there for me because she is so busy. My friend just happened to be there for me in a time of need.

[fishman10]

I dont think you cheated. By avoiding the kiss, you show that you were trying to avoid anything that might be considered cheating. Your best best is to be honest with your girlfriend and tell her the whole truth.

[Greekniko23]

I dont think you cheated. By avoiding the kiss, you show that you were trying to avoid anything that might be considered cheating. Your best best is to be honest with your girlfriend and tell her the whole truth.

I know that I was definitely on the borderline. But I think your right. I need to tell her the truth and just hope that she can somehow understand.

[surfhb]

Telling her will be the one of the worst mistakes of your life. Just learn from it and move on....don't be such a drama queen over it

[hope~]

I think you should definitely tell her. You obviously were avoiding cheating even though you were getting comfortable with the girl you avoided the kiss which shows an obvious level of respect for your girlfriend and your relationship. Hopefully she is understanding enough and values your relationship enough to forgive your actions. Good Luck!!

[Greekniko23]

I think you should definitely tell her. You obviously were avoiding cheating even though you were getting comfortable with the girl you avoided the kiss which shows an obvious level of respect for your girlfriend and your relationship. Hopefully she is understanding enough and values your relationship enough to forgive your actions. Good Luck!!

Yeah I just hope she can forgive me.

[alicehardt]

Here's a good test to see if you're cheating:
If your girlfriend were to walk in the room while you were doing what you were doing, would she be upset?

[Mumikate]

U haven't cheated, and u must be very proud u haven't,because some guys will definitely took that situation and kissed the girl and so on...and DO NOT tell that to ur girlfriend, she mustn't know because no matter u haven't cheated she will always control u or thinking maybe when u re not with her u re on the edge of cheating.it isn't the best way to build strong relationship)

[Greekniko23]

U haven't cheated, and u must be very proud u haven't,because some guys will definitely took that situation and kissed the girl and so on...and DO NOT tell that to ur girlfriend, she mustn't know because no matter u haven't cheated she will always control u or thinking maybe when u re not with her u re on the edge of cheating.it isn't the best way to build strong relationship)

But here is what scares me. My girlfriend and this girl know each other and they have a lot of mutual friends. The bigger problem is that a lot of the guys that my girlfriend knows hate me because they want to be with her. If one of them finds out which could be likely, then I'm sure they'll waste no time telling her. Then I'm afraid that my gf would hate me even more for not telling her.

[Mumikate]

And just think what these guys may find out-that u have been watching movie with another girl(by the way ur friend not a random girl), u werent kissing and making out, so everything still is in a friend zone! But these guys may start gossiping and if ur gf starts act itself like a jealous crazy woman just ask her who is the person her to trust-u or that random guy who is looking forward to ur split..if she s a clever person u ll be the chosen one!
And about that ur friend..if she s ur real best friend she will nevere told that to ur gf!

[MerryH]

But these guys may start gossiping and if ur gf starts act itself like a jealous crazy woman just ask her who is the person her to trust-u or that random guy who is looking forward to ur split

No. Don't use this manipulative bullshit on her. "But babe, who are you going to believe, me or that guy who just wants us to break up so he can get into your pants?" Ugh. So much wrong with that. Don't do it.