What would you do? My girls slept with 2 of my friends.

[cdbrock24]

I've been with this girl for about a year. She slept with my best bud 7 years ago when we were 24. Just drunk $hit and they probably did it 3 times. Then my buddy tried to make her a F buddy because he'd only call her when he was tanked. Needless to say that backfired. She quit hanging out with the guy, ignored him and moved on. I've known her 8 years and we started dating about a year ago. We get along great and by far one of the better, most sane girls I've dated. She also had sex with another buddy of mine but that was when we were 17 (14 years ago). So my question is: Should I care my best bud banged my girl 7 years ago or is it irrelevant? And would the fact that she's had sex with two of your friends bother you? It's sort of sickening knowing what went down. This guy was not scared to share intimate details 7 years ago. He doesn't now and never talked about her when we got together but I remember his stories from long ago. Any thoughts?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

It really depends on how much the girl means to you. Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with it in the scenario you described. She seems like a respectable girl. It isn't like she let them all bang her at once or something. She was seeking something monogamous and declined the F buddy situation. I don't see why it's a problem if you've been dating for a year now, but I guess I understand if you're looking down the road at marriage. It may not be the most comforting thing knowing your wife's been intimate with a friend, but 7 years is another life ago, and she seems to have maintained her grace in her dealings with her friends. Your friends also seem to be good guys too, so don't be the only dummy of the situation and make a mountain out of a molehill. I definitely see no reason to add strain to a presumably good relationship over something that happened so long ago in the past. Seriously, let it die here. She's with you.

[all alone]

you shouldn't care at all! its almost a decade past and you seem to genuinely enjoy her company, why are you trying to ruin a good thing for yourself? Just have fun, and before long you will have banged her 100 more times then your buddies. lol

[cathy22]

My present boyfriend knew my ex before we started seeing each other., So far it hasn't effected anything.

[Gypsybell]

These days it is rare to find celibate singles and people change partners often enough prior to settling down for it to be commonplace for ex partners to appear somewhere in the picture. The rellevance it has is whether or not you can accept that 2 of hers are mates of yours. I'd like to say it doesn't matter, but it obviously does to you or you would not be asking opinions on it. Come to terms with it before you get serious about a future with this girl, she doesn't deserve to live with your veiled jealousy or contempt. These things tend to surface when relationships hit rough patches and respect for your partner is essential no matter what the goad of the moment may be. Consider this: If it came to a crunch, would you break the ties with your 2 mates if the situation became uncomfortable for her? If you cannot put her first then question whetheryou are the right man for her. I do hope its a case of '3rd time lucky' for your lady, I'd say she deserves it.

[bloodtippedrose]

She was honest with you about who she's slept with, and your friend's never lied to you and they are respecting that you're with her now by not talking about what happened back then. Let the past be the past.

[steviej]

It all depends on your mindset. I agree with what the others have said, but i understand where you're coming from. Personally i'd be in the same predicament if my situation was similiar, as it would bother me. I couldn't even explain why, it just would.

If you are really keen on this girl then work hard to get rid of those thoughts and get over it, whatever you do, do not throw it in her face if you two argue. Her past has nothing to do with you and it is very hurtful and disrepectful to bring it up.

[Boisdevie]

I met my GFs ex partner a few months ago. OK, so what, they had sex. But now she's with ME. Har Har Har. It's me doing the banging and not the dickhead she dumped. Here endeth the lesson.

[NeoSam]

TBH i wouldn't be comfortable with it.

[leoben]

It doesn't bother me she's had sex before, but it would if she had banged a bunch of other guys while she knew me. Who really want's to be a girl's 12th choice? It would bother me having to deal with a guy on a regular basis I know she picked over me.

As Stevie said though, you gotta get past it if you want to be with her.

[cdbrock24]

Thanks for the insight people. Like I said I've known her for 8-9 years. She's never been one to sleep around. She's a relationship chick. She dated some douche for like 4 years before me and her got together. Before her and my buddy did their thing years ago, me and her had made out a few times but never did anything past that. So i wouldn't consider myself the 12th choice (loeben) because I was before him but unavailable. I had a girl I was with for 3 years when that happened so we never got past the drunk make out deal. I was like 23, give me a break about the cheating thing. It's just a little uncomfotable knowing what went down between her and my buddy. He effectively played her because like I said she's never been one to sleep with a dude on the first night. He talked to her a few times, hit it and quit calling her. But I guess I can't cry over spilt milk right?

[toshiba]

I made a post about hearing things about my girls past I didn't want to hear and didn't get a drop of sympathy.

Past is past, but I can see preferring someone with similar background (not your case, your girl sounds like what someone would normally expect to encounter).

I wouldn't worry about it, 2 cocks in 14 years is nothing (with people her age, nothing too deviant), it sounds like your friend did what any other guy would try, call a chick when drunk and hope for the best, she was wise enough to put a stop to it, says a lot about her, he was just being a guy. The friend when she was 17 is normal experimentation, naturally with someone in her peer group.

Dating a douche for 4 years before you can be a good thing, makes anything you do look great and lowers her expectations. WIN!