My girlfriend promised me sex, then broke up.

[NotReally]

I am an 18 year old male and I've struggled throughout my high school career to find the right person to have sex with. Between the ages of 16 and 17 I had multiple opportunities which resulted in girls teasing me or dating me without sex for some unknown reason. Without sounding narcissistic, I am fully aware that I am an attractive young guy who is not socially awkward and can handle a relationsihp with ease. My last girlfriend really changed my life and I would describe her as my first love. We would often talk about having sex and given the opportunity we would go for it right away. It took a painstaking 3 months before either of us got one of our houses to ourselves because our parents would rarely leave, but finally when we were in bed together she chickened out.

The reason why we wanted to do this at that time was because she was going on a trip for a couple weeks with her father and we wouldn't see each other. To my shocking dismay she returned only to break up with me. I cannot describe how painfully disappointing it is that I will never be able to have sex with the girl I loved so much. Since then it's been about two months and I am torn between trying to have sex as soon as I can and waiting for the right opportunity. The idea of a one night stand feels shallow and incomparable to my previous romantic relationsihp, but at the same time it feels as though I'm falling behind in my sex life and I really deserved to experience it before this.

Obviously it seems to suit my character to wait for the right opportunity, but my standard has been set so high and meeting girls after graduating of high school just seems like an impossible feat. Although I believe I am over my ex-girlfriend as a person and I no longer love her as I once did, the experience still haunts me and I am left alone with my self confidence on the line. The friends I would normally talk to about relationships just assume I had sex with my ex because of how obviously we were in love, and I'm too ashamed to admit that she wouldnl't let it happen. So what am I supposed to do? How can I believe the right person will show up, fulfill both my sexual and romantic needs and help my sex life finally take off? It just doesn't feel realistic.

[Mathias]

You're 18, dude.

Many, many right girls will come along.

[bloodtippedrose]

If you truly are attractive and not socially awkward then getting and having sex with girls after high school will come easy because you won't have to sneak around mommy and daddy. If you focused on your goals, getting a car, getting into college, etc. then girls just happen to show up along they way. I think you're thinking sex is this glorious thing and you're putting it on a pedestal. Why did your girl break up with you? was it because you were mushy or too serious? That could definitely be a factor in pushing girls away.

[oldskool83]

now remeber this forever, promises made will always be broken. never promiss shit

[NotReally]

If you truly are attractive and not socially awkward then getting and having sex with girls after high school will come easy because you won't have to sneak around mommy and daddy. If you focused on your goals, getting a car, getting into college, etc. then girls just happen to show up along they way. I think you're thinking sex is this glorious thing and you're putting it on a pedestal. Why did your girl break up with you? was it because you were mushy or too serious? That could definitely be a factor in pushing girls away.

Foolishly I took a gap year, thinking that I could just take it easy after high school with my girlfriend and working my job. I did originally plan on moving out but that isn't happening because housing is so expensive where I live. A car is sort of the same deal. I'm planning on applying to colleges and universities for next year, but looking at THAT as my nearest opportunity to meet girls makes me feel pretty hopeless.

My girlfriend broke up with me because, while on her trip with her father, she met another guy who she said she fell in love with. She said she didn't cheat on me, but after returning from her trip she can't feel the same way about me that she used to. All that is legitimately disappointing, and I refuse to contemplate the possibilities of whether or not she really did cheat on me because I know as of now it makes no difference. I don't think I did anything wrong during our relationship, in fact we both know that the months we were together were basically perfect. I can't recall one fight or issue that ever got in the way and it all boiled down to a very anti climatic ending.

[sadie_genie]

but at the same time it feels as though I'm falling behind in my sex life

Sex isn't a competition. It is a way to experience intimacy with someone and it should come naturally. You ex-girlfriend obviously didn't feel like you are the right person to have that experience with so she isn't the right person for you anyways.