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Thread: Meeting my internet girlfriend for the first time and need advice!

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    Meeting my internet girlfriend for the first time and need advice!

    So I'm meeting my internet girlfriend for the first time. We've been in a relationship for 3 and a half long, long years. I am so excited! What I was wondering though, is if you guys had any advice for me. I know the obvious one is to be myself, I have no reason to pretend to be someone I'm not, because she already knows how I am. But I need advice on how we can get over the awkward shyness we'll both feel at first. I am visiting her for a week. We have talked about this and she said she would feel very shy and awkward, too shy and awkward to kiss me or cuddle the first day, and that she'd get over the shyness in a week of being with me. But I don't have that kind of time, as I said I only have a week. Truth is, I'll be feeling shy and awkward upon first meeting too. So how can we get over that shyness RIGHT now so we will have enough confidence to be romantic when we finally meet? I really want to fully seize this chance of finally being with her and showing her all the passion and affection I've been waiting to show her these 3 long, painful years. Also, what kind of gift should I take her? She is 20 years old. I know what she likes but I don't want to make it seem like I spent too much money on it. I was thinking jewelry. But I don't know if that'd be weird. All opinions are welcomed

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    wtf? the reason for the internet is to connect people in person not wait 3 years and do it. good lord

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    Our situations would not permit us to meet. We have been planning to really meet ever since we admitted we liked each other. But at the time neither her parents or mine would allow it. Her parents said they wouldn't allow her to come meet me, and that they would not allow me going to their house either. Same with my parents. Security reasons, I guess. But now that we're older (we're both 20), and we have the money and time off of school to actually meet, and we don't live with our parents, we can. It was just our circumstances.

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    Well my answer WAS going to be have a couple glasses of wine, not enough to get wasted though. Till I saw that you were both 20... It helps me loosen up a bit when I'm nervous and I find that I can be a little more open. If you guys were 21, I would say after a few glasses, you could talk the night away, and probably be more comfortable the next day.

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    When I was young, many many years ago I went out with girls. And I never asked my parents if I could because it was none of their bloody business who I went out with. I can't belive this. I lost by V when I was 19 and that was years too late as far as I was concerned.
    I'm concerned that she's your girlfriend but you've never met each other in person in 3 years.

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    Quote Originally Posted by oldskool83 View Post
    wtf? the reason for the internet is to connect people in person not wait 3 years and do it. good lord
    Lol! I agree.

    To break the ice, when I know someone fairly well like that, I put a hand gently on each side of their face, draw them to me, and give them a long kiss. Then I say "Hi I'm [fake name]".

    Kidding! Seriously, I do start with a long, gentle kiss. No groping, just a kiss. (Meaning you can rub their back, but not their front.)
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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    This is the first time you are meeting. Don't forget that. Three years on the internet or not, you still have never met her. So it is going to be awkward and shyness will play a role. There is nothing you can really do to change that. In fact, trying to change that awkwardness might just make it even more awkward. Just accept it and embrace the awkwardness. Cherish all the little moments and don't be in such a rush for the bigger moments.

    Good luck.
    Brought to you by Dating With Devon!

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    Also remember that you and her are going to have different expectations based on gender differences. You're going to be looking for physical closeness (as you talk about earlier). Don't set that expectation on her. She's most likely going to be looking for a huge emotional connection. Both of you might initially be disappointed - but that's OK. Just enjoy the time together as much as possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by awkwardm8 View Post
    So I'm meeting my internet girlfriend for the first time. We've been in a relationship for 3 and a half long, long years. I am so excited! What I was wondering though, is if you guys had any advice for me. I know the obvious one is to be myself, I have no reason to pretend to be someone I'm not, because she already knows how I am. But I need advice on how we can get over the awkward shyness we'll both feel at first. I am visiting her for a week. We have talked about this and she said she would feel very shy and awkward, too shy and awkward to kiss me or cuddle the first day, and that she'd get over the shyness in a week of being with me. But I don't have that kind of time, as I said I only have a week. Truth is, I'll be feeling shy and awkward upon first meeting too. So how can we get over that shyness RIGHT now so we will have enough confidence to be romantic when we finally meet? I really want to fully seize this chance of finally being with her and showing her all the passion and affection I've been waiting to show her these 3 long, painful years. Also, what kind of gift should I take her? She is 20 years old. I know what she likes but I don't want to make it seem like I spent too much money on it. I was thinking jewelry. But I don't know if that'd be weird. All opinions are welcomed
    I'm concerned that she's your girlfriend but you've never met each other in person in 3 years.
    Agreed.
    Are you meeting her to try and get to know the real her (as opposed to the fantasy girl you are making up through her words) or just to get your rocks off? You're both already having an emotional affair based on what you've told one another so I can see why you want to jump right in there but why don't you just quit worrying about whether or not you'll consumate your "relationship" and just take things one day at a time... For all you know you may not have ANY physical attraction to her or the emotional attraction you've built won't pan out in real life so just go with no expectations and have fun. Nature will take it's course if the emotional melds with the real life.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 27-10-11 at 11:18 PM.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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