Utter turmoil.

[Keating1000]

Hello.

I dont know where to really start this problem of mine; all I know is that I feel angry, sad and frustrated all the time.
I'll start from the beginning in hope one of you lovely people can give me some solid advice.

It all started when I met Girl A In March 2010. I fancied her immediately, and ended up leaving that night with her number. From then on, we spent the next 5 months texting every day, getting to know each other, she was funny, polite, and beautiful, the absolute works. In the August, we got together and I had never been happier. The time we spent together was amazing, all though I didnt see her a lot. As time went by, i noticed that she would flirt/text with other lads when we'd be out together and over Facebook. It didnt bother me per say, I was just worried in case she left me. In September, I started college and met lots of new friends, in particular Girl B. Our friendship grew as we spent college days together and I had supported her when she was breaking up with her boyfriend. People told me she fancied me and had feelings for me, but I dismissed these for false claims. In this time, my relationship with Girl A had got worse, she no longer wanted to see me, didnt make any effort to see me, and just generally didnt seem to want to be with me. I was devastated and Girl B really supported me through it all.

In the October, another friend of ours had a party. My girlfriend refused to come, I had seen her in the day and I bottled when I went to break up with her. I was extremely unhappy. On the night, Girl A had gone to a different party without even telling me and spent all night texting me texts that said she was with all other lads etc, in one text, she suggested that she had slept with one of them. I was crying and extremely drunk at my friends party. I passed out, and Girl B had dragged me into a bed and looked after me when I was passed out. I woke up with her next to me; she had taken all my clothes off because I was sick on them. She started talking to me and her hand was on my chest. We were just chatting about how things were going between me and Girl A and I explained. Next thing, Girl B is consoling me and her hand is down my pants, I told her no, and she got off and apologised. Later on in the party a similar situation occurred but this time we ended up sleeping together. I was gutted because I had cheated on my girlfriend, we consequently broke up. I then realised that my feelings for Girl A were superior to Girl B. I spent the next month until end of November begging Girl A to get back with me, she did and I spent all the time making it up to her, I still feel like Im doing that to this day.

From this point on Girl A did a variety of stunts, which I will list in chronological order.

December 12th: Went to our first party together, she spent all night in bed with another lad (Guy A), I went home, she text me the next morning saying she had kissed him all night.

December 24th: Went to a party, didnt invite me, told me that she wasnt a good girlfriend and I would never be happy with her.

December 25th: Made no attempt to see me or give my Christmas presents, (I had dropped hers off the night before) spent all day with her best friend.

December 26th: I went round her house, she was reluctant to give me my presents, they were not wrapped and the price labels were still on.

December 31st: We had made plans to spend New Years evening with each other, then ditched me at last minute and went out with her best friend.

January 3rd: Agreed to come to my house and see me, she then told me she couldnt be bothered and she didnt want to.

January 12th: She went to Guy As party, didnt even ask me about whether I was okay with it or not. I got told by some friends who went that Girl A had spent all night with Guy A and slept in his bed. I got told she cheated on me with him, however, she denied it. When later questioned she admitted to kissing him again.

February 10th: Went together to a party were Guy A was also at this party. She spent all night with him instead of me; I had to beg her to come home with me that night.

March 5th: Went to a big party, had pre-drank at my house before, when we got to the party I sat on my own all night when Girl A spent all night with Guy A, she had her profile picture of him and her on facebook the day after. She stayed out until 4am, when I got bored and told her I was going home at 12am.

March 6th: She woke up dead late, I told her to be at the train station at 1pm as we were going to a gig. She turned up at 1.30pm; she spent the entire gig onto the phone to Guy A leaving voicemails to him off the songs that were playing. I paid all of this evening, meal, tickets, taxis etc.

April 17th: We had an argument because I told her that I was unhappy with her texting Guy A constantly. She refused to stop talking to him and said I was being unfair.

June 8th: was her birthday, I spent over 150.00 on presents for her. Me, her and her family went out for a meal. Unfortunately her best friend came without any notice and I spent all night alone as they were just chatting together and ignoring me.

July 17th: Caught her skype calling Guy A, told her that I was at my last straw with it and told her to delete him and dont speak to him. She agreed.

August 1st: Was my birthday, I was gutted because I was on holiday so couldnt see her. I was in America so I couldnt check my facebook, but when I did, I found that she had re-added Guy A back on fcaebook and had deleted it off her newsfeed so I couldnt see. She then argued with me saying I was being pathetic.

August 5th: When I was on holiday too, she went to the cinemas with Guy A and all of his friends alone. Although I suspect that it was just him and her. She said she had every right too.

August 27th: I was on another holiday here, and she went out partying when I was away with Guy A. There were tonnes of photos of them together which I wasnt happy about.

From this point on, I have just decided that I couldnt be bother making the effort with her anymore. I split up with her briefly at the beginning of September, but she came crawling back saying she would change.
Moreover, now we have both got part time jobs and we only get to see each other on weekends. And even when we agree to see each other and go shopping for our holiday (4th 7th November 2011) but instead she said she was going drinking. She then got home at 5am in a taxi and didnt text me at all. She said she went straight home alone in a taxi, but I doubt that.
I have exams in January, so Im already stressed out. She wants to get a flat with me next year and live together and she seems genuinely in love with me. She starts to cry whenever I say I think we need a break and when I told her that I may want to move away for Uni.

Im just not sure what to do. When I try to open up to her, everything is good, we both love each other. But she always does something that upsets me, then we argue and it spirals and she starts to cry. I feel like Im stuck in a vicious circle with her.
I dont want to split up with her; I think she may be my soul mate. Shes the real thing for me, I just want her to understand how I work and for her not to upset me. I love her so much, but the grief and stress she causes me is too much.
The good times are amazing, but the bad times are utterly horrible.
Has anyone any advice for me? Should I stick it out with her, seeing as she gave me an original second chance? Or should I put my heart aside and cut and run?

On a separate note, Girl B now hates me and is always trying to cause trouble with me; she has a new boyfriend and always flaunts that to me. Girl A now isnt friends on Facebook with Guy A, but I think they still text and that she deleted the messages out of her phone.

Any advice would be appreciated; Iïm losing my mind here.

[Keating1000]

I also realise this is a really long wall post.
But any advice would be really appreciated

Thanks

[Cerby]

You should have broken up with her on December 12th. You're a fool for staying with her for so long.

Normally I'd try to say something constructive, but you're beyond that. You don't love each other, you feed on each others emotions. You're stuck in a brutal relationship and for some reason you think there is a way to make it work. This girl cheated on you, didn't get you anything for xmas, goes out with other guys and tells you about it, couldn't be bothered to see you.

What advice do you want? No one here can possibly make things any better, this girls treats you like shit and you just keep taking it in. Girl B seemed nice, probably too nice for you.

[sweetgirl1989]

If she was doing all of this horrible stuff to you why did you stay? I understand your feelings for her. But you should want to be with someone who shares those feelings in return for you

[wanderlustboy]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. That's really awful, and you deserve better. Tbh, I find it a bit difficult to keep track of all these alphabet people (Girl A, Girl B, Guy A etc).. but from what I did read, Girl B sounded really nice, and was very sweet to look after you when you were mashed and puked all over your clothes. I would probably want a shag out of that too (after you'd brushed your teeth, naturally) ;-)

If Girl B is still available, go for it. Why stay with a slapper who lets lads grope her and have fun with her while you're getting pissed, crying, vomiting all over yourself and turning down pertty girls?

wlb

[Keating1000]

Girl B isnt availiable anymore.

Im going on holiday this weekend with Girl A, I feel myself becoming more distant from her everyday. I just dont know what to. I feel like I have put alot of effort into mu current relationship. her parents really love me, I just dont know what to do. Should I rip the plaster off and just get it over with? I dont want to be single, I just dont want this relationship anymore. Should I stick this weekend out and go on holiday?

/confused

[sweetgirl1989]

Just get out. Your heart isnt in it anymore. Staying with her and allowing her to cheat on you and treat you badly shouldn't be allowed just because you don't wanna be single.

[Keating1000]

Does all the bad stuff she's done outweigh me cheating on her in the first place though. Should I still feel in debt to her?

[Cerby]

Does all the bad stuff she's done outweigh me cheating on her in the first place though. Should I still feel in debt to her?

No, they're apples and oranges, you cheated and she should have ended it with you completely. Instead you remained together and things just spiralled, at which point you should have dumped her.

You're both wrong, and they aren't comparable.