married but have a huge crush on coworker

[theringer]

I have a coworker that I have a huge crush on.
when I see him I feel alive. Those big brown eyes just draw you in and that...smile.
I'm married with a daughter and have a great hubby of 10 years.
I love my hubby but I think I'm also falling for this person.
Is it possible to feel this way? Never in a million years I thought I would.
I try my hardest to avoid him but it's hard since we have work meetings or group meetings.
I get the feeling that he has feelings for me too and we're in the same predicament since we've been out once for coffee.
I can tell he gets very nervous around me but I just pretend I don't notice it.
In the real world and let's be practical it would never work. Our worlds are so different.

we are both married w/ families. It would be too complicated if something were to happen.
I love my family too much and I"m sure he does. But then you think, life is too short right?
Why is it so complicated!
I guess it's just a dream and just putting a bit of spice in our daily grind.
It's really nice to think about the "what ifs".
I don't think we would find each other attractive if we met many years ago. I was so different.
I'm a different person now, esp after having my daughter.
Is it possible that tastes change as we age? Now that I'm going through it, I would say yes.

But you know what, I would just be as happy remaining friends because then I know
he'll always be part of my life moving fwd. I don't want to hurt anyone at all. I think
life would be more difficult if we do pursue this. If it's meant to be it will happen.
Please help what should I do, it's driving me insane.

[persina]

i think u should try to forget about this man... just think about how much u would hurt everyone just because of a "crush". you said it in your own words, u have a great hubby of ten years, why would u want to throw that away? do u know how many women would love to switch places with you? plus you dont even know this man that well.... imagine u give up everything for him , just to find out that he isnt the right one for you. the grass isnt greener on the other side.it just looks like it lol
plus, that feeling u have right now... that is only temporary. dont forget that, crushes come n go, a husband is( supposed to be) for life.

[devonbrown]

He is a crush. Nothing more, nothing less. In certain ways, he may also be your "work husband" where you like him and share things with him, etc. You probably spend more time with him than you do your actual husband anyway.

Accept it for what it is, you find someone else attractive. That is not a horrible thing. It is human nature.

I don't know if you are fishing for someone to tell you to go ahead and have an affair or not. It sort of seems like you are asking that. But I would suggest you do otherwise. Understand this crush for what it is and just live with it. Don't make the situation into something more. While your attraction is not in your control, how you act on it is in your control.

Good luck.

[oldskool83]

this is a classic case of dont shit where you eat...right now think thinking about shitting where you eat. if your husband was posting on this form sawing the same things i think you could be confused upset and feel worthless.

[Kaius]

If you feel a strong attraction for this man, then think to yourself why you would. A happily married woman would find another man beautiful, but there wouldn't be that "hot spicy excitement". Are you dissatisfied with your husband? Are you feeling bored in your marriage? You might not really be having a crush on someone else....you are just not happy in your marriage/life.

[Leona77]

I agree with all the posters here...The crush is just a crush. In can be intoxicating, addictive and devastating to one or more parties involved if you decide to pursue it. Affairs are always revealed eventually. Don't even think for a second that you can hide it. Beign at work together is not an easy situation. If something happens between you two everyone will notice your secret glances etc. Tension between employees is always noticable. Don't think you are smarter than that and that you can hide it. Pretty soon you will become the favuorite gossip & not only your marriage, but your reputation and career could be damaged.
Try to think about what attracted you to your husband to begin with. You might have grown apart, especially after having the daughter. Do you miss communication? sex? how he made you feel?
It is normal to feel attracted to someone else, but I agree that it's in your control whether you will act on it or not. Your crush might be just something to fill in the gaps. I can tell from your post that you are a genuine person so I wish you good luck in making the right decision