Feeling so insecure about everything

[chica]

Hi everyone

I don't know what's been up with me. I've felt kind of shitty for a while; I've felt not quite like myself and I seem so insecure about everything. People tell me that I have talents (like singing, guitar, academics, etc.) but even though logically I know these things to be true, I don't really FEEL them. No guys have really taken an interest in me but a lot of my friends say that I'm pretty and smart but being insecure drives guys away...but I don't know how to less insecure.

I felt so insecure about my appearance, my skills (I want to be a teacher and I don't know if I'll be any good at it), and my life in general.....I feel kind of unloved and I want someone to love me and appreciate me for who I am. But I feel like no one wants me.

I used to be so confident and so sure of myself! Now even though I'm outwardly successful, I'm missing that 'umph' and that zest for life I used to have. I used to be so hopeful but I don't know what happened. Maybe it's because of some bad relationship or fear about the future (like teaching, etc.)

How did you overcome your insecurity to find confidence?
I know that I will never get anywhere in the world until I find confidence in myself, so I should probably learn how to confident

[john1257]

I'm insecure about every single part of my body. I absolutely hate myself and I would give anything to be somewhat normal looking.

[Dune]

Well as your last sentence sums it all up, the confidence that you seek is within yourself, and in a manner of speaking, only you can unleash it.

Confidence/self esteem/security is a funny thing. It's our perception on ourselves and our own standards and where we stand amongst everybody else, and also what makes us unique. From what you've described about yourself, you seem pretty all-rounded. I guess you just have to be optimistic and keep on improving on yourself and don't ever stop learning. Think about it. In life, we probably never stop learning till the day we die.

If you want to be loved, you'd first have to love yourself. Just have some faith and belief in yourself. Insecurity reeks and some people can smell it a mile away. As oppose to confidence, it radiates from your personality. So just be comfortable in your skin, and keep doing what you do. It's a possibility that you feel as if you don't fit in or blend in as well as those who are perceptibly less talented than you and you're wondering why. Don't bother too much about people's judgements, as you know cruel they can be sometimes. It's also a possibility that people are jealous of you. Listen to those whom you trust.

[smackie9]

Get into doing fun and positive activities that don't put demands on you, like try painting or drawing pictures, be free to create things, or join a book reading group.....you need to get yourself away from the daily pressures you face and put on yourself. Even try yoga or some physical activity to relax and enjoy yourself.

[Gypsybell]

Sounds like deppression, but you are pretty vague. If you are into weed or other recreational drugs it would explain the loss of touch with reality. You say you can't 'feel' your music and that sounds depressed. You 'want to be a teacher', but are afraid , rather than inspired,. Yet you 'used to be be confident', whilst you are 'outwardly successful'. But people keep telling you blokes back away because you are 'too insecure'. You are mentally disordered and need to be honest about what caused that. Lay off the pot if you are on it. See your Dr about anxiety or depression iif you are not.

Then there's that 'bad relationship.... or something'... surely you would know what reduced you to an insecure wreck of it was a bad love affair? Frankly, I can almost see you weaving on your feet, looking vaguly through a cloud of smoke asking, "Gee where did that smart young me go?"....

Get a medical check up, girl, you're in trouble!

[bulrush]

No guys have really taken an interest in me

Maybe you are so pretty they think you must have a boyfriend, so they don't bother. Why not ask them out?

I also got a vibe of depression from you. Clinical depression which might need meds. But you didn't describe any physical symptoms. So I'm not sure.

To get more confidence, I set a challenging goal for myself. This might be in relation to hobbies, exercise, school work, saving money for no reason, or for a "toy", or something else. Then I can look back and see all the goals I have achieved, and it's pretty good, actually.